The Axe story...

I received a forwarded message a few days ago... It was a nice motivational story about a woodcutter which goes something like this:
Once there was a young man called Pandu. He won a contract for cutting trees for a timber company. On the first day, he walked in with his shiny new axe. With a lot of excitement, he went and chopped down 10 trees on the very first day. His client was very impressed.
On day two, he chopped down 11 trees and a whole dozen on day 3. Then, for some reason, he managed to cut only 9 trees on day 4. From then onwards, his performance kept falling. He would work a lot harder and yet manage to cut less and less every passing day.
A week later, his client called him and asked him what was wrong. Even Pandu couldn't understand why his output was coming down.
Finally, the client asked him to get his axe and they noticed that the axe had lost its edge and had become blunt.
Client: When was the last time you sharpened this axe?
Pandu: Sharpen? I had no time to sharpen my axe, I have been very busy trying to cut trees. That's when he realised his own mistake.

Moral of the story - Every once in a while, you need to take a break and sharpen your (proverbial) axe from time to time so you can continue working at the same level.

That's where the story ends. That is also where the thinking starts.

If you were the woodcutter, you basically would have two choices. Work till your axe is blunt and become blunt yourself or sharpen the axe like the story tells.

But wait!!!

Imagine this, Pandu worked for a few days and regularly sharpened his axe. He was the client's favourite because he could deliver atleast 12-14 trees per day. But,Pandu was not satisfied with this because he knew he could do better.
Over the next few weeks, Pandu saved up some money and bought a small chain saw. With the chainsaw, his output increased to 20 trees per day. His client was very happy and gave him a huge bonus.
A few weeks later, Pandu purchased an industrial strength chain saw which could chop down almost 30 trees a day. He was now the best performer for his client and way ahead of any other woodcutters.
While all others had regularly sharpened their axes, Pandu actually chose to move on from the axe and acquire better tools.

As years went by, he continued expanding his collection of tools. One chainsaw became 2, 2 became 4, he got a few more guys to help him as time went by, opened a contracting agency, became successful and lived happily ever after...


Pandu is not a fictional figure here.... he can be anyone of us. The axe is not just an axe... it can be a Laptop for someone, a toolkit for someone else, a smartphone for you and a box full of raw materials for me...

The point I'm trying to make is that in today's time and age, its not enough to have an axe and keep it sharp. Its critical to continue adding more and more to one's existing tools and skills and use them to gain that competitive edge...

Are you happy sharpening your axe or do you plan to acquire something better?
Think about it!!!

Corporate Marriage

Lets take a quick trip down the imagination highway...

Then again, for some of you, it might be experience, for rest it will still be an imagination... come along anyways...

Lets call that person X for now.

You and X meet for the first time. Someone introduced the two of you and now you find yourselves meeting face to face. You've just met to see if you like each other and things can work out between the two of you.

Even before you met X, you did some research about X, checking the background, what X does, how much X earns, everything about X.

X did the same about you, trying to learn as much about you as possible.

From the moment you guys met, you clicked right away. You have common interests, you like each other. After meeting a few more times, the more you meet you start liking each other even more.

Wow!!!... it looks like you were made for each other.

You decide to come together and spend the rest of your lives together...

The next few days are just perfect. You enjoy each other's company, life just couldn't be better...

And then... reality started hitting the happy couple.

You realise that X is not just the appearances on the first few meetings. You realise there's more to X's character than was visible in the first few interactions.

You start realising that X is very different than you originally thought. The way X works, the way X relates with you, the way X looks at your problems, the way X cares for you. Everything has changed. Infact, you are thinking right now "How did I ever like X"

Let me break a news for you, you might find it shocking but X is going through the same right now. X is thinking the same about you right now. Right now, X is thinking "What on earth did I see in you that I liked"

Is not this the experience of a majority of you reading this post?

The reason I'm writing this post is not because I have any troubles with my marriage. Over the last couple of years, I have worked more and more with people in my organisation. Like any other organisation, people keep joining and leaving all the time. The more I work with my people, the more I learn about the human nature. Infact, the last couple of years have given me more revelations than all my working career put together.

You might be thinking, why did I switch from a marriage topic to work.

Well, I was actually talking about work all this time.

The reason you thought about marriage is because there are more than a few similarities between marriage and work.

In a marriage, you meet each other, like each other, enter into a long term commitment, maybe things will work out for the two of you and you'll spend the life with each other, then again, maybe you realise things are not working out and decide to part ways, go look for the next partner.

In a job, you meet each other, like each other, enter into a long term commitment, maybe things will work out for the two of you and you'll spend the rest of your career working there, then again, maybe you realise things are not working out and decide to part ways, go look for the next company.

Another thing which is similar is the fact that marriages used to last much longer in old times than they do today. So did the jobs, you probably saw atleast one of your elders retiring from the same company they started at. But you wouldn't know anyone in our generation who intends to retire from the same employer.

I've conducted my fare share of interviews looking for the right people for my team. I don't ask what you know about the company because I get the same recorded response everytime (one based on my own company's website). My favourite question in every interview is "What do you know about the job you've applied for". Interestingly, almost everytime I see that the candidate has not done any research on the kind of work they have to do once they join.

It's because they are not even interested. All they are interested is in the amount of % hike I'll offer over and above their current employer. (This pattern reminds of some professions I can't discuss on this blog.)

Even the guys in my circle have a similar thought process when they are looking out for a job.

How many of us have actually put in the time and effort in identifying the next employer we want to work at, done the research and then done everything to find a job with that employer?

Lets be honest, not many of us...

But we did that while searching our life partner. Atleast some of us did.

You would be spending about 8 - 12 hours at your workplace. If you exclude the daily sleep time, you are actually spending more time at workplace than you do with your loved one. Which is why I call your employment as a Corporate Marriage.

You might ask - "Gulshan, what's the point you're trying to make???"

I'll keep it simple - 

Finding an employer / employee is like finding a life partner, if you put in the right kind of effort and focus, you might find yourself in a more satisfying and longer lasting relationship.

Think about it.

Mere Nishaan...

Here's a beautiful song I've been hooked on to for quite a while now.
It's a pity that my English is not rich enough to effectively translate every emotion in that song, still I've given it a try because I don't want anyone to miss the beauty of this song.

It's about the creator and how he feels when he looks at this world. How he sees his creations struggling with day to day life when he has given them all they need. How he is saddened by them fighting for him...

This is for those who don't know Hindi (And for those who know but never heard this song the way I do)

Here you go...

I'm not one among the men... Infact I'm easily bought and sold in shops...

I made this world with my own hands. Not with stones and dirt, but with my feelings and emotions...
Yet, here I am going around... searching for the footprints I left...

I've always been with you just like your shadow. I was there like a shade to protect you from the sun... I was always your companion in all your journeys...
Yet, you find yourself tangled in troubles...
You're looking for questions in the answers which I have already given to you...
You are so lost that you can't even experience me...
Alongside you I keep searching for the footprints I left...

The birds and the rivers are all created by me...
Everything between the earth and the sky is nothing but my story...
Even you guys are my creation, and still you keep trying to share me among yourselves...
I created the destinies... I created these images which live and breathe... yet, I'm the one speechless.
Yet, I'm the one looking for my footprints...

I'm still searching for a sign... a mark I left... a footprint...


I just love the way this song is written. If only I could feel the beauty of everything around me. If only I could see life as simple as the creator has actually made it to be. If only I could see at the world minus all the complications we have created for ourselves.

If only I could see the signs... the footprints He has left for us...

Infact... I just realised its not difficult at all...

Don't worry... you'll figure it out too... on your way to work tomorrow morning... Just be aware...

Empowering Parenting...

I'm not writing this post as an expert on parenting. Infact, I'm not at all qualified to advise on parenting because I'm not a parent myself.
But, I have been a kid like most of us and right now I'm just sharing what I have experienced as a kid in my growing years...

I was the laziest baby you would have seen. I never liked to fold my bedsheet after getting up in the morning.
But, I did like to make different shapes from paper... mostly square.
So, every morning, my mom would ask me to help her make a square by joining corners of the bedsheet... as I grew, I made the square out of the bedsheet myself... Even till date after I get up in the morning, I make the square out of my bedsheet and keep it exactly on top of my pillow...

All the parents have one common issue... kids fighting over toys... right???
My brother and I always got the same toys... every toy brought into the house was brought in 2's. One for my brother and one for me.
Once My brother and I (5-8 year olds) were fighting over a toy jeep... I thought it was mine and he thought it was his... We were getting pretty loud and physical about it... Just then, our mom came into the room, took the toy Jeep and just threw it out of the window... Weeeeeeeee it went out the window and into the open drain behind our house...
We were smart enough to figure out that anything we fight for will be taken away...
Interestingly we have never fought ever since...

Most of us hated homeworks when we were little... There were a lot of tricks my mom used with me when I was little, I still remember one of them...
Every evening she would give me dictation (spelling) practice... Since we were a joint family, she couldn't spend full time with me. So, she would come into the room, say 3 english words and go back to the kitchen. The challenge was to remember all of them and write them down. By the time I had finished writing those, she would come back and give me another 3 words. Over time, my memory and speed got so good that I could remember about 10 words which she would list out and go to kitchen. It strengthened both my spellings and memory even before I was 8 years...

I like all kids, was a troublesome eater... No child I've ever seen has loved eating... but I know for sure that every kid likes to win. Children are competitive by nature and love winning. I guess my mom figured out that secret as well.
Every evening, my brother and I would sit for dinner and the race would start... Mom would server half a bread (Roti) to each of us. Whoever finishes his half first wins the first round. Round after round I used to win. We had anywhere between 6-8 and sometimes 10 rounds of such half roti rounds...
Anybody who has tried feeding a kid (3-5 years age) will know what an achievement it is to have your kid eat 3-4 rotis.

For those who have just 1 kid, fret not...
Its a well known fact that kids hate rotis and rice... but, when we were kids, we just loved different shapes...
It takes just a bit of extra effort, and nowadays we even get metal stencils to cut out these shapes... instead of giving them round rotis, just try giving them stars and half moons and elephants and mickey mouses and lets see how they resist it...

Most of us didn't like veggies as kids... No kid likes tomatoes and cucumbers in salad... but they will absolutely love flowers and stars and different shapes cut out from those same veggies... All it takes is a good knife and a few youtube videos...
Trust me, it works... if you don't find anything, just catch me... I have a lot of experience with these tricks... (They have been used on me...)

Most of us who have siblings have felt this sometime in our lived - "Mom loves him more than me".
We were blessed never to have felt that...
Our mom made us a part in her parenting...
I was the first one to take my new born brother in my lap... not my dad or my grand parents... it was I who took my brother first time in the lap.... You tell me, will I ever get the thought that mom loves him more than me???

Both my brother and I were made incharge of putting our little sister to sleep everyday... My brother would take her in the lap and pat her head while I stood there like a bodyguard...
Tell me... how will any of us brothers ever think that mom loves the sister more than us???

These are just a few of the hundreds of smart parenting tricks my mom used when bringing us up.

I was never told "No". Even if it was not good for me, my mom would show me something better and change my mind instead of saying no...
Once I had my eyes set on a Hot wheels race track set... It was a 3 storey track set with 6 hot wheels cars included... My mom gave me one target... "Get within the top 3 ranks in final exams and you'll have it" I got the 3rd Rank that year... With a lot of excitement we went to buy the race set... When I was selecting the model, my mom said "But I don't know how to play this game... I'll get bored". I asked here what she knew and she showed me lots of other games which she knew...
That day I walked out of that toy store smiling from ear to ear because I had gotten a game of my choice... a brand new game of "Scrabble"... yep... thats right... "Scrabble"... and I was quite proud of it.
And thats how I got my games of chess and business.


Even when I once failed in a subject in school times, my mom said... "I know you will do it... don't worry son"... For the next few months... It was not the rank or success or respect which motivated me... it was just those words of trust which motivated me and kept me obsessed with my studies...

I don't remember ever being beaten by my mom, not scolded much ;), didn't hear too many "No"s, and I think I grew up just fine.

You might come up with some tricks of your own...

I have just one wish on my mind right now...
"20-25-30 years from today... one of your children should be proud of being your child and should be sharing a similar experience with the rest of the world"

Think about it...

Bikes...

I'm going to take you on an imagination trip today... But before that, lets brush up on some of the key companions for today's journey...

1. Rajiv Bajaj - He is the man credited with introducing the Pulsar range of bikes in India and turning the Indian bike industry around. At a time when the whole country was obsessed with mileage bikes, Bajaj Pulsar was introduced with world class performance, features and capabilities.

2. Most of you would have seen the movie "Cars". This movie is set in an imaginary universe where the whole world is only Cars. There's no human, just cars everywhere. Cars speak to each other, do things, do business, fall in love, there's a bad guy car, there's a hero car in the movie and so on. You can read up more about the movie on Google.

3. Imagination - Please have an absolutely over active imagination for the next few minutes. There's no limit to your imagination. Don't stop any thoughts which come to you while reading this blog. By the time I'm done, you would have had the most amazing reading experience so far.

Just in case you don't understand what's coming up in this sharing, just go for a walk, widen your imagination and come back for a second read... its absolutely fine...

Statutory Disclaimer -
I've not been paid by Rajiv Bajaj or Bajaj Pulsar to write this sharing.
I'm an absolute fan of Bajaj Pulsar bikes and the credit for all the positive sharing in this post goes to my Pulsar 150 DTSi.
The credit of your learning is entirely yours.
In case Mr Rajiv Bajaj ever manages to stumble on this sharing, I request him to take it in the right spirit.


Ok... Ready???


So, One day RB decided to create the most awesome bikes in the world. He gets the best technology, best parts available and the best knowledge available to build hundreds of Pulsars.
He builds all the Pulsars with best quality standards... They are all great... all equal... all best in their class... These bikes are built to be better, faster, more efficient and safer than any other bikes ever built... They were built to do everything... Race, go slow, mountain hikes, beach rides... everything which a bike could do...

Then, RB tells them to go on a 100000 km long adventure, enjoy all the best parts he's given to them and come back to him...

With a lot of excitement, all Pulsars leave RB's factory and head out into the world.

One of those Pulsars was very proud of himself. He took a real good care of himself, trying to maintain himself in absolutely showroom condition. He took such good care of himself that he didn't even go on the road because the wheels and tyres would get dirty. The engine was never started because the friction will spoil it. Shock absorbers were in mint condition because they were never taken over a bump. This Pulsar spent all day taking care of himself in the Garage. He never started his journey.

Another one of the Pulsars went and found a lot of other bike friends. They used to drink Diesel and loved the kicks. This Pulsar also tried Diesel but the problem was that his engine was never built to run on diesel. He ended up having a seized engine and never managed to complete his journey.

Yet another Pulsar went all around the world, but in his excitement to travel around the world, he never stopped to take care of himself, get himself serviced, change the engine oil or repair the broken parts. As a result, he traveled a pretty good distance but spoiled everything which RB had given to him. His shock absorbers were gone with wear and tear, engine tuning was lost because of no maintenance, chain sprocket assembly was gone, gears won't shift, tyres worn out and every possible problem a bike could dream of.

Another Pulsar decided to push himself to the max speed he could go... He hit the highways and hit the max speed he was designed for and more. In the process of going too fast, he lost control and ended up in a crash.

One more Pulsar had this habit of going too slow in the high gears.
(Crash course on gear shifts: Going slow speed in a high gear puts too much pressure on the engine damaging it. Going too fast in a low gear causes excessive revving, also damaging the engine.)

So, this Pulsar ended up damaging itself. It always shifted gears too soon and ended up struggling in every gear.

Another crazy one was the exact opposite, he would go fast, but never bothered to change gears. He kept trying to go faster while still in the lower gear. As a result, he ended up burning out his engine too soon.

Then there was this Pulsar who was different from the others. Not different physically, but there was something different deep inside this one... Something intangible was different in this one.

This Pulsar decided to follow all the rules necessary for him to complete his 100000 km journey.
He started with a shiny new body, hit a 120 kmph a few times in his life, climbed mountain trails, drove in the right gears, got himself serviced every few thousand kms, got the faulty spare parts fixed regularly, drove the right distances at the right speeds, hit potholes and speed breakers (after all its an Indian Bike) and yet kept going, There were smooth expressways and crowded rush hours... This one kept going. Learnt a few stunts too...


Finally, after their long journey, all the Pulsars came back to RB's factory.

Now come the key questions:

Do you think all these Pulsars are still the same equals they were when they left?
Of Course not. All of them are different. Enriched with their experiences on the 100000 km long journey, they have all changed. Some are better and some are worse, but they are all different.


Do you think RB is proud of all of them?
Maybe... Maybe not... Maybe some of them which performed to their peak potential will make him proud. He would still expect all of them to make the best use of the potential given to them...

Do you think RB still sees them as equals?
Should he???

Of course he still sees them as equals. After all, he made them... He knows they are all equal... He will absolutely love them all for they are his own creations.
That is the beauty of being a creator...

Do you know what RB will do now...
Because of all the Pulsars which made him proud, he will continue to create more Pulsars. He will create more powerful, more refined, more technologically advanced pulsars...
150 followed by 150 DTSi, followed by 180 followed by 180 DTSi, then 220 FI, 200 NS, 400CS, 400SS and so on...
Every Pulsar he creates makes him proud... so he continues to create more...

Today... I'm not going to give any message... I just want you to know that there are 7.2 billion Pulsars out there as we read this sharing.

I promised you a trip of Imagination... This is where I get off your imagination express.

Keep imagining and its entirely upto you to decide what you want to pick up from this sharing...

Happy Night Pulsars...

Clarity of Thought

Its amazing how learnings of life are revealed in simple conversations...

I was having a conversation with a friend when he asked me a question. A question which all of us get at some point in life... Depending on where you are in life you will get this question.
You could be in the middle of a huge project, or with your family on a holiday, or in the most difficult stage of life... When your mind is absolutely focused or amazingly confused...
A craving is sparked in your mind and you ask ---

"What is Clarity of Thought"

Sitting for a chat one of these days, one of my friend asked me the same question...

Now... I take pride in my ability to answer any kind of questions... But, this one stumped me...

For a change, I was quite and trying to figure out the answer...

After toying with different answers... I found it...

But before I share it with you, I'll make you read the rest of this sharing... Best part is that this blog is not about inspiring achievements and brilliant strokes of genius... This is just plain old Gullugiri...

I went for a movie a few days ago. During the interval, I, like all other mortals ran to the men's room... As I got there, I saw there was a long queue for the Urinals, on the other end, there were cubicles most of which were empty. I simply went into one of those cubicles, finished my work and came out. That's when others realised and started using the cubicles...

Once I went for a friend's wedding and as we finished greeting, I headed for the buffet (that's typically the main agenda whenever I'm attending weddings). Here too there was a long queue of people standing in the queue with plates in their hands.
The buffet was arranged in a typical Indian style with appetizers, breads, curries, rice, lentils and sweets in the same order. I noticed that most of the crowd was on the starters counters because  most of the people were starting from there and waiting for starters to be served. I simply took my plate and headed down to the other end of the counters. Filled up most of my plate with whatever I wanted and enjoyed the meal. Some of my friends were amazed to see that I was eating food in the wrong order... I just cared about eating...

Recently, I had an opportunity to help someone in a medical emergency. Normally, I leave the office late in the evening with some work still in backlog. But, that day, I left the office at 5.30 in the evening after allocating everything effectively to my team and they made sure all goes well for rest of the day... I was able to do it because I had only my friend's emergency in my mind at that time...

You would have been in a situation where someone's life is in danger and you know you can help by getting that person to the hospital... Do you really think you'll care about what people think about your driving skills or will you really care about the red lights you are blowing past???

I remember how I failed only once in my academic life, that too in my strongest subject. This set back my career by atleast 6 months. I remember how I had become absolutely detached from everything else for the next 6 months... I used to spend 14-16 hours at my teacher's place... personal life down the drain... sleep deprived... completely focused only on the studies... I used to go home only for eating and sleeping... I knew that I had to clear the next attempt of my exams...

I've seen for myself how most of the dudes in my team suddenly become super efficient on Friday evenings. Somehow, they complete all their tasks, with great quality and in half the time compared to normal days. I used to appreciate that a lot assuming that they are really committed to their work... Someone told me that apparently Friday evenings are filled with a different kind of plannings for bachelor dudes...

This is where I found the answer to my friend's question...
I found the key to "Clarity of Thought"...

Amazingly... its a one word answer --- "GOAL"

Yep... that's right...

Whether it was the men's room, the buffet counter, a friend's life, a movie you are late for, that girl you want to marry, the project, the exam or any other aspect of one's life... there's only one thing that can give you the clarity of thought... A Goal.

Look back into your own life and remember every time when you were focused on a singular goal... That was the time when your thoughts were absolutely clear... When you did not care about what happens around you... When you didn't care what people around will think or say...

All you cared about was that Goal you had in sight and how to get there...


I'm not sharing some philosophy... I'm not trying to motivate you... No amount of motivational articles can give you the clarity of thought which you have already experienced in glimpses...

We already have all the answers we will ever need... Infact we have even implemented them in our own lives... its just that we can't see them...

Goal... A Singular goal... A positive goal... That is what will give you all the Clarity of Thought you'll ever need...

Think about it...

Choosers can't be beggars!!!

Yep... you read that right...

The most amazing thing about life is that it keeps throwing lessons at you... Its entirely upto you to decide which ones to catch.

Was having a conversation with some friends and we were talking about some limited options. One of my friends just casually said "Choosers can't be beggars".
Actually he wanted to say "Beggars can't be choosers" but it came out the other way round.
We all laughed it away as another slip of tongue... but after a few minutes... I realised that what he said was absolutely true... albeit by mistake... but true nevertheless...

Beggars can't be choosers...
All of us find ourselves begging for jobs... begging for favours... begging for attention... begging for appreciation... and then we happily take whatever is given to us...

Because we are begging, we take whatever we get and hence the famous saying...

Tell me something...
Have you ever seen Gandhi beg?
Have you ever seen Ambani beg?
Have you ever seen Gates or Buffett beg?
Have you ever seen Jobs beg or Sachin Tendulkar beg?
Have you ever heard of Alexander the Great having begged?
Take any incarnation in any of the religions, and tell me if any of them ever begged???

Just for the fun of it, lets imagine how it would be to if all the legends of our history were to start begging for the things they wanted...

If Sachin Tendulkar was to beg the bowlers to bowl slow balls so he could hit sixers... would you respect him so much?

If Jobs was to come to your doorstep and beg you to buy his phone... would you respect apple devices so much?

If Alexander the Great were to beg each ruler of the world to surrender to him... do you think he had a chance to become the ruler of the world???

No way.... right??

No greatness has ever been achieved by begging or by being helpless....

The Gandhi chose to be non-violent and held on to his choice.
The Ambani chose to create an empire and strived for it.
Gates and Buffett made the right choices at the right time.
Every time Jobs was pushed down... he came back with a product that you would helplessly have to buy.
Every time he got sledging on the pitch, Sachin Tendulkar hit a six on the next ball.

Every great person was a Chooser... not a Beggar...

These legends chose what they wanted and then worked towards it... Did they always get it??? maybe not...
But did they have to beg??? definitely not.

Even when they failed, they had enough attitude that they did not beg and they chose to bounce back.

Truly, Choosers can't be beggars... even when life puts them down.

You will never see a successful man making this statement.

"Beggars can't be choosers" is a shield behind which the weak hide.

That day, while speaking, although by mistake, my friend showed what we are truly made of...
We can all choose to be Choosers and we will never have to be Beggars in life, because, "Choosers can't be Beggars"

Think about it...

What's your legacy???

Long long ago, in a place far far away, I was working with an ex colleague (Lets call him Dondu). Dondu had put in his resignation. While we were working on one of the reports, I noticed that Dondu was completing his work very fast, I got a bit suspicious and asked him whether he was actually checking the reports to see if they were coming correctly.
Dondu coolly replied - "Who cares, its my last week, even if they are wrong, I'll be long gone from this god forsaken place"

In a week's time, Dondu was relieved from his duties. A few months later, guess what --- the mess surfaced...
We spent over two weeks correcting what Dondu had left behind... Even to this day I remember what he had "Left Behind"


At another time, I went to a friend's house. He was shifting out of his apartment and going abroad. He had sold his apartment and was just there to pick up the remaining stuff. As we were in the lift, he threw the gum he was chewing in the lift itself... I told him it was unhygienic. He just replied that he wasn't going to come back anyways... so how did it matter.


Once my dad took me to a wildlife sanctuary. I was probably 8 or 10 years that time. We had ice creams and once I had finished I just tossed the empty ice cream cup nearby. Although there was a dust bin nearby, I just threw it nearby.
My dad noticed and said something which changed my life forever... "Tu saala Indian ka Indian hi rahega... jahan jayega... kachra failaiga..."
("You'll stay a **$#@* Indian all your life... leaving garbage behind wherever you go")

I felt very bad... My ego was seriously hurt. Yes... I was 10, but I still felt humiliated. I walked back, took that cup and went all the way to the dustbin to throw it in the bin.

Just so you know, my Dad is more Indian than most of us, but that comment that day had a purpose behind it.
I decided that I will change the meaning of being an Indian. I decided that I will make sure that every place I have been to should be clean after I have left. I have not littered for more than 22 years now. Not even a chocolate wrapper on the road side.


I was out shopping the other day and a girl walked up to me. She came up to me and said "Hi Gulshan Sir, recognize me?"
Obviously I didn't recognize her and I told her honestly that I wasn't able to place her face. She said that she was my student 5 years ago. I used to take a little extra something after every class and this girl remembered those extra snippets I taught. She told me how much difference my way of teaching had made in her life, both the academic aspect and otherwise.
It felt really great, especially because I myself never realized the value of what I was doing back then.


In every single thing I do, whether I'm working, sitting with family, with friends, having fun, on the road, in the mall, in the park... Wherever I am, I'm leaving something behind.
What I leave behind will stay there. It will have an impact. It will be my reminder. It will either help someone or disturb someone.

When I work and leave, I'm leaving my results behind.
When I teach and leave, I'm leaving my knowledge behind.
When I'm littering, I'm leaving garbage behind.
When I'm angry, I'm leaving disturbance behind me.
When I share a joke, I'm leaving smiles behind.
When I leave home, I'm leaving a hug and love behind.
When I pray and leave, I'm leaving gratitude behind.
When I'm writing, I'm leaving my learnings behind.

Whatever I leave behind will have an impact on those who come after me.
Whatever I leave behind is what I will be remembered for.
Whatever I leave behind is going to be my legacy...

It is entirely upto me on what I leave behind... It is entirely my choice to decide what the world will remember me for after I'm gone.

I will make sure that when I'm gone, everyone behind me will remember me only for the right reasons. For the value I added to their life.

I will make sure I leave behind a legacy. A legacy that will be valued. A legacy I will be remembered for...

The "I" here is not just for the writer of this blog... the "I" here represents each and every one who is reading this blog.

What are you leaving behind???
What's your legacy???

Think About It...

Life - Tests, Choices and Lessons...

I had a recent experience and it was so profound that I felt like sharing with everyone. Honestly, there couldn't have been a better way to come back to blogging after such a long break.

Here it goes...

Dondu and Pandu are friends.
Pandu also has another friend Golu.
Golu has never met Dondu.
One day, Life decided to test these three.

Morning 10 am - Dondu has been very ill and needs a blood donor. Dondu's parent's and loved ones are worried sick and trying everything to find a matching donor.

Sometime in the morning - Pandu started looking for a donor.

Afternoon 4 pm - Golu saw Pandu's message and offered to help.

Evening 6 pm - Golu was able to reach the hospital in time and luckily he matched the requirements.

Evening 9 pm - Donation procedure has been completed and everyone's relieved that things will start getting better now. Pandu and Golu are not able to meet Dondu since its already too late so they decide to leave for the day. Pandu is just worried that Golu might be a bit woozy after the whole process of blood donation.

Night 10 pm - Pandu drops Golu midway home to make sure he's fine. Golu reaches home and once they chat up with each other, they both go to bed.

Next day - Dondu is already on the way to recovery.

3 days later - Dondu is home and fine. He still hasn't met Golu, so he calls Golu to thank and now they are both good friends. Everyone is grateful to Pandu and Golu.

By now, word has spread in the whole friends circle and everyone is impressed with Golu. Everyone has appreciated Golu for the way he responded.
Golu's chin has been up ever since and his chest size has gone up by a few inches (with pride).

Nice story right? Short and sweet with a happy ending... right?

Well, this is where the learnings start...

1. First, I realised that fact that what is seen is noticed. The fact that Golu was able to leave things and respond very quickly was straightaway noticed by everyone. As a result, he was appreciated well in the friends circle.
Interestingly, Pandu did not receive as much accolade even though he was instrumental in mobilising donors, spent the whole day in the hospital, left business work, and not only that, he even made sure that Golu reached home safely. This was known only to the 2-3 people who were involved from start to end.
As a result, only those limited people were able to appreciate how much Pandu had actually contributed.
Moral of the story --- Whether good or bad, people will notice only if they are able to see it happen. This holds true in every aspect of life. Your boss will be able to notice your work only if you show him the results. Even your spouse will appreciate your love only if you are able to show it every now and then - flowers, chocolates, good meal, help in the kitchen etc.

2. Second, I realised that Pandu played a very important role in Dondu's life that day. He was there as a friend and did everything he could to help when Dondu needed him.
Similarly, Golu was able to make himself available and help Pandu when Pandu needed someone to help. This cycle goes on. Each one of us plays these 2 roles in life.
The question you need to ask yourself is - Do you have atleast one such friend in your life who will do for you what Pandu was able to do for Dondu? Do you have that one person you can count on in time of need. If you have not been able to earn atleast one such friendship, something needs to be corrected in your life. Do you have that "Special Friend"?
The More important question you need to ask is - Have you ever been such a person when your friend can count on you. Have you been that "Special Friend" to someone? If not, do you have someone about whom you care enough that when the time comes, you will become that Special Friend?
I have lived a good life if I have that "Special friend" and I am a "Special Friend" to someone...

3. Third, beware of pride.
That day, Pandu was in the right place at the right time. It could have been anybody else but Life chose Pandu as the right person to be there.
Similarly, Golu happened to be in the right place at the right time and the right match. He could have been anywhere in the world but Life chose to have him in the same city just a half hour drive away.
Pandu and Golu need to realise that they are just tools used by Life to take care of Dondu (Very precious tools indeed... but still tools of Life). It is not correct for them to think that its their credit. They just did the right thing.
We cannot allow pride and ego to take up space in our minds, "Aham" as its called in Sanskrit.

4. And Finally, its all about choices. Both Pandu and Golu could have chosen to be anywhere else in the world. Pandu could have worked on a project all day long and be home for dinner with his wife. Golu could have been in his workplace haggling with clients. But, when Life's test came up, everything else seemed small and they both chose to help in every way they could.
If any one of them had chosen otherwise, this blog would not have happened.

Its our choices that make us who we are...

Think about it....

Make-up

Ok... before you think that I'm an MCP, let me clarify that this blog is not targeted towards any gender. I'm just trying to understand what goes through one's mind...

Those who are dark in complexion want to be white.
Those who are fair take sun baths to develop a tan.
Do you not like your own lips?
Do you not like your own eyes?
Do you not like your own hair?

Then, why you would want to apply an artificial colour on your lips and nails.
Why would you want to change the colour of your hair to anything other than the way its been given to you.
Why would you wear coloured lenses to change your eye colour.

I've known people who do not step out even to buy milk without wearing make up... and then there are female friends who I have known for years and still got shocked when I saw them without makeup some day.

We spend so much time worrying about our looks... obsessing in front of a mirror.
Can we not have an inner beauty which shows up on our face?

I'm not talking about becoming a renunciate and to stop caring about how you look.

We live in a world which judges us by our looks.

It is necessary to look smart at work, to look pretty on a date...

Can you be so healthy that your skin glows and you don't need make-up
Can you be so happy that your face looks good without make-up too
Can you drink so much water that your lips have that natural colour and don't need lip colour
Can you eat so healthy that your nails have that beautiful pink
Can you take pride in the greys up there... atleast what's left of them...

Can you live just a week without make-up??? Can you live a week without looking at a mirror and still be confident about how you look?
We all love ourselves... but the answer to this question will tell you how much you love yourself as you are...

Think about it...

Lets decide the "What"

Let’s play this little game of imagination.

Imagine that you are the CEO of a big multinational company with 500 employees. One day, an office boy comes to you and asks for your time to discuss something very important. Obviously you have a large organization to run and the office boy may not be your top priority. But, being a good CEO, you will make a provision in your time and meet him later.

Now, let’s imagine that the office boy wants to meet you immediately and is adamant about it. He even offers to get you a box of chocolates. You still don’t agree to meet him immediately because you obviously have more priorities. Next, he offers you a cut from his salary so that you meet him immediately.

By now, you are laughing at this guy.

What on earth is he thinking? Trying to pay you a cut from the salary you pay him. If you had a choice, you would have met him on your own time, but because the office boy was pushing so hard, you may actually decide not to meet him at all… Am I right???

Now, Imagine that you are the CEO of a company which has billions of employees and each one of them has a demand on your time. You are a good boss and you want to meet each one of them. Do you think its possible to meet them at the time of their choice??

Obviously not…

You will have to plan your time and meet them as per your schedule. Right??

So, effectively, you allowed them to decide “What” they want, and you are willing to give it, but you will decide “When” to give as per your schedule.

Let me remind you that you and I are still humans.

We as humans are willing to give what the other person wants but we want to decide when to give it, then why can’t we accept this as a fact when it’s time for us to ask.

Why do we have to behave like that office boy and make unreasonable demands and want them fulfilled now?

Every time we make a wish, we want it fulfilled now. We are willing to make deals and proposals to Him in our prayers to make sure it happens “Now”…

That’s not how the system works. Every wish that I make, every thought that I release, every desire that I have, will be fulfilled, but it will take time.

I wanted to marry that girl, so I released a thought, problem is that I wanted to marry her immediately... That’s not gonna happen.

So life took its time and when the timing was right, we got married.

After watching so many Lara Croft movies, you want to marry Angelina Jolie.

There’s just a small glitch, about a million other people want that too, she is already married and has a dozen kids, and she’s about 20 years older to you.

So, does that mean it’s never going to happen?

Let me give you the good news…

I’m a strong believer in the Cosmic Conspirer’s System and I’m telling you that it will happen. Not today, not tomorrow, maybe not in this lifetime, but it will happen.

“He” needs time to move things around and fulfil your wish. Out of personal experience, I can say that it will happen. (okay. . . it wasn’t Angelina Jolie for me, but you got the point).

I have learnt that I just need to decide the “what” and He will decide the “when”…

Real misery happens when we try to decide the “what” and the “when”. And when things don’t happen as her our time, we become miserable…

You are trying to clear that professional exam and somehow things don’t work out, you become miserable.

You want that promotion, and for some reason you didn’t get it this year, you become miserable.

Wouldn’t life be more peaceful if you could just tell yourself, maybe it was not the right time and continue striving for it?

But Be Careful….

I’m not asking you to develop a defeatist attitude and give up. You can’t say this to your boss that “the timing for completion of the project was not right’’. He’ll probably kick you out of the office.

Where “Effort” is required, put in the necessary efforts…. Make sure you have done everything you can and then wait for the result… Be patient… Don’t be disparate…

I’m just saying that everytime you fall, just get up, dust your pants and start running again.

Desperation is never the answer.

Let’s make this shift in our thinking process.

Lets decide the “What” and let Him decide the “When”. . .

How many Gods do you have?

I was recently talking to a friend who is not Indian. Somehow the topic got diverted to religion and here's what my friend said - "I never understand your religion, it looks like you guys have more gods in India than you have people... and you guys are over a billion and counting. What do you do with so many Gods? Don't you feel like consolidating??"

Well, what do you think my answer was... I know, your first guess is that it was another long lecture of Moral Science.
Well... for a change I kept it simple and just replied - "Well... thats India"

But today, I have a question to ask of you...
You agree that God is infinite... You also agree that as Humans, we are finite... The finite has been created by the infinite. Then how can the finite with its finite knowledge ever define the infinite into one single form?
What are we trying to achieve by saying that God is an entity with a form and a name?

We all agree that as kids (very little kids), we do whatever our elders say, we look up to them, we try to emulate them, we treat them as elders.
Don't you agree that not all elders are the same to us when we are kids. Some boys are closer to their moms and relate better with their moms. Some girls are closer to their dads. I was very close to my grandma, but whenever I wanted something, I would get close to my grandpa.

Can we create a rule that all the kids in the world should always only listen to their dads? No...
Kids will always relate to elders like whom they want to be. They try to copy the elders they look up to. Kids try really hard not to disappoint their favourite elders.

I know what you are thinking...What does this have to do with a billion gods?

It does.

As humans, we are unique independent characters. We have different preferences, we like different things, we love different people, we fear different things. On the same basis, each one of us could feel connected to a different symbol of faith.
For example, my grandma was very interested in scriptures, she used to read Bhagavat Gita very regularly, so obviously, she felt more connected to Krishna, so she used to Worship Krishna. A friend of mine is a very timid guy, doesn't want to hurt others, somehow he can connect better with Lord Mahaveera. My mom looks up to Goddess Lakshmi, Goddess of wealth and fortune. I'm a simple guy and trust people very easily, I used to feel especially connected to Lord Shiva, so I grew up worshiping Lord Shiva.

How I wish that every one of us including I could transcend these forms. If only we could realise the fact that the God is a Force. Indescribable, Indestructible, Infinite... how could we even try to describe this Force into a single form?

When we worship these different forms, we are only worshipping an extension of something within us. When we worship the 9 forms of the Goddess, we are just looking up to the various aspects of ourselves. When we worship Goddess Lakshmi, we are just looking up to our desire for prosperity. When we worship Lord Shani, we are looking up to our own desire to be disciplined and so on.

My friend had no idea how correct he was when he made that statement. Just one correction. The number of Gods in India is not more than the people in India, its exactly the same. We have exactly the same number of Gods as the number of people in India.
We identify ourselves with one of the forms of that Force and each one of us is capable of eventually transcending that form to embrace the formless. I know that in this lifetime, that day will come. A day when numbers and names of God won't matter. A day when that Force will be a reason for unity among people. That day, no one will ask the question about god.

Have you identified your God yet?

Jo Dikhta hai...

I recently saw an advertisement on TV where people are buying stuff online and one of them doesn't trust it. So, one of the characters says "xxxx pe jo dikhta hai, wohi bikta hai". It means what is displayed is exactly what is sold to you.
All the credit for this sharing goes to the person who created this quote...

The amazing thing about language is that this same statement can be interpreted in a very different way...
Jo dikhta hai... wohi bikta hai...
What is displayed... is what is sold...
What is displayed....
Thats is what is sold...

So, if it is not displayed, it is not sold...

I used to work in a retail shop and the boss used to place very high importance on the display of the store...
He would pick out the best pieces himself and guide us to create the shop display... Interestingly, those would turn out the hottest selling items

Have you noticed one thing common across all the movie trailers... whether english or hindi movies... one thing is common across all trailers --- 90% of the best shots in the movie are shown in the trailers.

Even when you go for an interview, you wear your best shirt and tie...

One thing common across all this is to make sure that the best is at display...

What is displayed... is what is sold...
That which is displayed is sold...

Do you think it will make sense that I get the best merchandise in my shop but don't keep it on display???

Will it make sense that you have a strength but don't display it in the interview???

Now, once you have cracked the interview and got the job, do you still do it???

I have a friend who is a bit weak in accounts, so he went all the distance, did all the extra research just before the job interview and prepared his accounting knowledge as much as possible. Obviously, he got the job because he was able to display a strength in accounts on that day...
My question to him is - Now that you have the job, are you still putting the same effort???

Even in office, your boss will see the strengths which you display...
The work you get will be based on the strengths which you display...
You will get the next promotion... the next project... the next client.... based on the strengths which you have displayed....

I'm a complete show off.... But right now I'm not talking about showing off...
Showing off is different from displaying the strengths...

You have been in a job for the last 1 / 2 / 5 / 10 / 15 years... are you displaying your strengths in the same way as you did on day 1??? Are you demonstrating capabilities... leadership... ownership???

Tomorrow is the start of a new week for most of us...
Lets start the week with this mantra...
That which is displayed... is sold...
Jo dikhta hai... wohi bikta hai...

"L" Board

I learnt to drive a car quite a few years ago. Last year, we bought a car in the family and I was expected to drive it. There was just this one small issue - I had not driven a car in 6 years, and never driven one on the main roads by myself.
In India, we have a concept of placing a big red "L" on the front and rear windshields. This is to let the people around know that the driver is still learning and should be given more space.
People on the road tend to be a little less rude to "L" board drivers.
At first I pasted the "L" board for the benefit of surrounding traffic. It's been close to 5000 kilometres and I still have the "L" board on.
Somehow, I don't feel like removing it. There's so many things I need to learn about driving.

I just realised, that's the case with almost everything in my life.
Till yesterday evening, I was one of the best in my office. Today morning I walked into a classroom as a student and woke up to a fact that there were 83 better than me sitting inside that classroom alone (I'm not even talking about the whole world... just inside that class)
I just realised how much more there is to learn... and how ridiculously less I know.

Thankfully, I'm taking steps necessary to move towards better knowledge levels.

Problem is - I took the steps after an idle time of almost 8 years.

My question to you is - Are you continuously learning???
Have you kept the student alive in you???
Is you ego feeding you with an illusion that you know everything???
Forget about big things...
What is a new thing you learnt today?
What was a new thing you learnt this week?
What was something new you learnt this month?
Heck... Have you learnt anything new in the last one year???
When was the last time you learnt anything new and useful???

These were the questions haunting me and I have made a conscious decision to keep the "L" board up for a long long time... not just on my car but in my life as well.

Is your "L" board up???

Challa...

I've no idea who I have been looking for...
I just keep searching for him... looking for his place... asking people where he lives...
I keep laughing while I look for him...
I keep crying while I look for him...
Looking up and down the streets...
I feel like I belong to the whole world but I have nothing of mine...
I'm looking for him but don't know where to find him.

In the colours of the rainbow, in the chirps of the birds, in sunshine and shadows, I look for him.
Like one looks for the moon among the clouds... I listen for his sound in the silent winds...

I'm sure he is somewhere very close to me, I can't see him but I can smell his fragrance in everything around me.

He was never separate from me, how is it that I'm searching for him and trying to look for him.
I'm like that prisoner of love who never wants to be freed.

He promised that he'll meet me in my dreams, but the joy of meeting him doesn't allow me to sleep all night...
The very thought of meeting him once in this life makes me breathless.

I keep looking for him... not knowing who he is... not knowing what he looks like... not knowing where to find him... not knowing what I would do when I meet him... I still keep looking for him...

The beautiful thing about music is that it carries different meaning for different people. The above expression is a rough translation of a song I heard a few months. (Times like this, I realise the poverty of my language, I don't have enough words to express the beauty of the original song.)

The song is about a guy who is looking for someone he saw just once. But to me this song has a very different meaning.
To me, this song beautifully shows man's search for his God.
Man looks for God everywhere, in temples, in mosques, in churches, in other places of worship. Man goes to wise men, saints, priests asking for God's address, asking for a way to experience God.
Man searches the elements, the nature, the stars for his God.
Why is it that Man keeps looking for Him when He was never separated from Man. Why is it that Man is surrounded by God, yet keeps looking for Him... Close your eyes and you will experience Him...

Challa is a Punjabi word which means crazy guy. So true, if Man keeps looking for Him all over the place, man must be crazy only... right???

Its not something new which I'm sharing, this is the knowledge handed down to us since thousands of years, yet, like a crazy guy, millions of us will get up tomorrow morning and will run to temples and churches and mosques looking for Him. Maybe, just maybe if we stop looking and just be still, be silent, we just might experience him in that stillness and silence...

Challe... tu ki labda phire???

Choices and Decisions???

Choice is a  possibility to choose from among multiple options.
Decision is the action of having made a choice.

All of us know that as long as we have a choice, we are free to choose... Its a huge freedom...
Once we have made the decision, we are bound by it. Look at it, the very languaging is that we are bound by our decisions. Decision is a bondage...
Right???
We know that we are living in a world full of choices... yet... are we satisfied with what we have??? Are we satisfied with the choices we have?
What's wrong?

What if I turned this entire understanding upside down for you...
What if I tell you that choices are not exactly the freedom they seem to be...
What if I tell you that decision is not the bondage it seems to be...
What if I said that Decision is the biggest freedom in the world that you can gift yourself...

Yep... you read it right...

A friend had come over to stay in Bangalore and was put up at a hotel near my house. Three days which he stayed, I would go and drop him to the hotel on my bike. There was a U turn right in front of the hotel, if we enter the one way, we could save about 2-3 minutes and a few hundred metres of distance, but still I was taking the U turn everyday.
You could easily say - "Being in India, everyone doesn't follow rules perfectly... late night at 11.00 pm, there's not much traffic, no cops... its okay just make a quick trip in the wrong direction carefully and just drop the friend quickly..."
I have a choice to go or not to go...
I can choose based on the traffic at that point of time...
I can check if there's a cop there and based on that I can choose...
Once I have chosen to enter the road from wrong side, I have the choice to stay either on left or on right of the road.
A person coming from the other side has a choice to take the other side or keep coming down the same side...
So much energy is lost in thinking all this, within seconds and that too everytime I go down that road...

Honestly, I don't have the patience...

What do I do?
I gain freedom by  making a decision... A simple decision - I will follow traffic rules...
Now I don't have to waste time and energy thinking about these things...

Recently a friend of mine promised me to give up smoking... a few days later, I saw him smoking right outside my house. I didn't ask but he himself came and said - "This is the first one after 2 weeks, just one occasion since I have a lot of tension."
I didn't see a point in explaining anything...
He is still a prisoner of choice... he has not yet achieved the freedom of decision...

I was a hard core non vegetarian. The quantity of chicken I downed in one meal could put any of my non-veg friends to shame.
Umpteen number of times, I decided that I would give up chicken. First I decided I would eat chicken only when my mom cooks it. Then I decided I would eat chicken only on special occasions. I took up will power games of giving up chicken for 2 weeks, 3 weeks and one month etc.
Finally, I would still go and get one for myself and waste all the effort by digging into that grilled chicken.
This was happening because I was leaving choices open for me. I know that a life is lost everytime to satisfy my 2 inch long tongue. I used to go through some guilt everytime after eating non-veg food.

Then one day, something happened and I decided that I will never have a dead body on my plate again. I decided that my taste buds will never cost a life.
That day I achieved freedom. Its been 5 years and I don't even get a question in my mind on whether I should eat or not.

I decided to have her as my life partner, I don't have to keep looking.

I decided to choose this industry as my career path, I don't have to keep searching.

I decided that my family will always stay in the same city where I live, not there's no two thoughts about it... this one decision is clear, all the other decisions revolve around it.

Choices... You call them freedom, I call them wastage of energy...

Decisions... You call them bondage... I call them freedom.

The most romantic couples I have ever seen are the ones who have been married for 30,40,50 years. Do you think they had the kind of choices we have today. Do you think they have grown to love each other because they each had lots of choices?? Or because they made decisions and stood by them??

I know what you are thinking.... "Gulshan, what if you have made a wrong decision? How will you know if you don't keep looking for options"

My dear, never ever question the decisions you have already made, they belong to the past. Even if they were wrong, its past now. Your next decision can define the rest of your life.

There are no right or wrong decisions, what we do with those decisions makes them right or wrong.

Inertia...

Have you ever been in a function where everyone was dancing and celebrating. Most probably, you were the one sitting at the side watching others dance. You too want to dance but feel shy, that's why you are sitting.
Then, someone comes and pulls you by the hand. First few minutes are awkward, but then you start dancing. Before you know you are dancing in full swing and that day you were the last one to get off the stage.
First getting up to dance was difficult, then you enjoyed it so much that stopping the dance was difficult.

One of those days, you were sitting in the office and working on some issue. Since morning, you hadn't moved and inch on the issue. You were totally stuck and had no idea how to proceed. Around 4.50 in the evening you decided that you will give it another 10 minutes and if nothing works out, you'll call it a day and continue working on it next day.
Somehow, at 4.50 you got the breakthrough and suddenly everything started working out. Before you know, it was 9.30 in the night, you were still in office and finally happy that things worked out.
At first, getting a start was difficult, once you found the solution, stopping was difficult.

Back in school, there were times when you would sit for hours together without getting past 5 pages and then something would click and you would finish the whole book before you get up for dinner.

It was a huge deal for me when I started working out first, but once I started, I was totally hooked on to working on my body.

I started blogging 4 years ago and blogged non stop since then. I stopped for some reason a few weeks ago, and I haven't blogged for almost a month.

There's actually a scientific term for this --- "INERTIA"

Apparently, inertia is not just restricted to the science labs. Its deeply woven into our daily lives.

According to Isaac Newton - The vis insita, or innate force of matter, is a power of resisting by which every body, as much as in it lies, endeavours to preserve its present state, whether it be of rest or of moving uniformly forward in a straight line.

In simple english - That which has stopped, continues to stop and that which is moving continues to move.

Whenever we try to start something good, we find it difficult to start because of the inertia. Similarly, when we try to stop something bad, we find it difficult because of the inertia. But the beauty is that once it is started again, then there is no stopping.

Why I suddenly stopped writing is not relevant right now, I've just overcome the inertia and started writing again.

Tomorrow is a Monday and I think this is the best opportunity to identify our inertia. Where do we find it difficult to start, and where all do we find it difficult to stop.
Lets start the week by overcoming the inertia in our lives...

Where is your magnet focused?

Do you know when your car becomes old???
When your neighbour gets a new car...

Do you know when your phone is outdated???
When your colleague gets the latest 10 inch phablet...

When does your laptop look old???
When your junior who just joined gets a shiney new one...

I'm absolutely crazy about my bike, and have been using it for ages now. But last year, a newer, upgraded version of this bike was released and since then, somehow I've convinced myself that my bike is getting old.
Now, believe it or not, during the last one year, my bike has given me the maximum issues. Starting from engine sound, chain sprocket issues, timing chain issue (I have no idea what it is)... somehow, it feels like my bike is trying to take revenge on me. Latest adventure was when I realised that my tire had gone flat for no obvious reason. I ended up dragging it for half a mile to get the tube replaced.

I have suddenly started facing issues only after I got this thought process that it is getting old.

In workplace, you will always find 2 kinds of people. One's who are always complaining. Somehow, all troubles seem to come in search for such people. And the most interesting part is that their troubles are well justified. Somehow, they are always at the receiving end.
Another category is the ones for whom things just keep happening right. They don't seem to struggle.

To you it might look like, all those who struggle are complaining and cribbing, and all those who don't have any issues are happy.
The truth is - All those are happy, things work out for them. All those who are complaining, get more reasons to complain.

You get what you relate to. The more you complain, more reasons you will get to complain. The more you smile, more reasons life will give you to smile.

Its not that the smiling ones don't have any issues, its just that they choose to smile inspite of their issues.

I know a few of my friends who are absolutely logical, pragmatic, scientific. If you are that type, I'm not sure how I'll convince you. Just think of yourself as a magnet, it attracts those like it.
Only difference is that a magnet can't choose what it wants to be, we can.

I was in a work related discussion today and we were talking about how we need to plan things. I needed to know the availability of my seniors. 2 of my seniors gave two very different approaches -
Option 1 - We will take up this activity. I think it will get over in this much time. But then there are other factors such as x, y, z which could cause a delay. Because of these things, we might end up extending. Plus I'm occupied with a, b, c, so I may not be able to put in time. Subject to that, we should be able to finish it.

Option 2 - Lets see, our due date is x, so we have to deliver within that, if some issues come up, we'll have to move them around, I am occupied with a few things but I think I can manage. This looks doable, we should be able to meet the targets if we push ourselves a bit harder.

The first guy is focused on the issues and can see them more clearly, the second guy is focused on the goal and can see that more clearly. It is not that the second guy is turning a blind eye to the challenges, its just that his focus on the goal is clearer and everything else is ancillary. Who do you think I should work with???

I've shared about getting one's magnet right a few times before, but I still felt that this was worth sharing.

Where is your magnet focused???

For Granted?

You have probably read this story a few hundred times by now as mail forwards and as facebook posts, but I can promise you that you wouldn't have read it the way I did. So please, for my sake, read this story to the end, read it the way I want to share it...

There was this man travelling by train. In the same compartment, there was another man travelling with his son. The son was probably 16 or 17 years old. The son was quite excited, almost as excited as a 3 year old. He was seeing outside the window and making some pretty childish comments every now and then.

Suddenly the son said - "See papa, that tree also has a brown trunk, how is it that all trees have brown trunks"
The father replied - "Well, that's the way it is."
Son - Wow, there are so many different shades of green. That's green, right?
Father - Yes son, that is also a green.
Son - See papa, the railway tracks are going parallel to us
Father - Really? lets see how far they can keep parallel...
And the son kept saying - "See papa, the whole sky is blue", "the birds are trying to race with the train", "Everything is going by so fast", "The hill at the distance looks like its moving forward instead of back"... and so on.

Everytime the son would make such a comment, the father would say "Its beautiful, isn't it!!!", "Very nice", "Amazing" etc. It was very obvious that the father was being very patient with his son.

Finally, our friend couldn't watch it, so he said to the father - Looks like your son needs help, I think you should take him to a doctor.

The father, with all his excitement replied - Actually, we are coming back from the Doctor. My son here was born blind and he just got an eye transplant. He is just learning to see...

The man was dumb struck. That is when reality hit him, and hard...

Something beautiful happened right then - For the rest of the journey, this man sat right next to the young boy and enjoyed each and every sight with the young boy. He had travelled that route a few hundred times, but he saw a new world that day. A world with new found eyes.


For the last few years, my loved one was going through great pain and trouble due to some dental issues. She was not able to eat anything sweet, spicy, hot, or chilled, not able to drink soft drinks, effectively letting go of everything pleasurable because of the dental issues.
Recently, she completed the entire treatment, and is now able to eat anything she wants.
You should see the smile on that face when she eats what she wants.
A healthy mouth is something we take for granted, but for her, it was an absolutely amazing experience to be able to eat and drink whatever she wants.

I used to hug her everyday, three times a day, sometimes fight with her, sometimes not speak to her for days. She would make cakes and sweets for me and I don't remember saying thanks once to her. Then, one day she was gone. That is when I realised what it is to have a grand mother in one's life.

I go to work with it everyday, for 8 years it has been my partner, so much so that its like second nature for me to ride my bike. Then, one day, at 11 in the night, the clutch wire snapped. That's when I realised how I had been taking its reliability for granted.

She's waiting for dinner everyday when I go home, then one day, she was not feeling well and ate early. When I came back home, I was eating alone from my plate, that's when I realised how eating together from one plate was a default activity for me.

Most of us have irritating mom's, who keep pestering us to keep our rooms clean etc, wait... the day will come when you will realise how you have been taking your mother for granted.

You keep cursing the job, the company, the boss, yet you keep coming to the same workplace for years. That credit into your salary account every month is taken for granted. Until, one day, recession hits... that's when you realise that you took the job for granted and never tried to work on your skills...

We take the body for granted... Wait till the doctor tells you about that anomaly in the liver, or that white spot in your mouth, or the day you have to climb five floors and you realise that 125 kilos is a lot of baggage.
If you don't take care of it, this very body will start betraying you...

Only for the last few days, I have become more aware of my dental health, I enjoy my gym workouts better, I enjoy the family time better, I take better care of my bike, I drive a bit more safely, I don't mind doing some house work.

It is the very basic nature of us humans that we take all the beautiful gifts of life for granted and only when they are gone, we realise the true worth of them...
We have been doing this for all our lives... Atleast now can we change???

The Hug...

I was sitting at my friend's place to see her new born baby.

We sat there chatting while the baby slept peacefully. Then while we were talking, I touched the nice chubby cheeks of the kid and instantly a slight frown appeared on his face, then the mother caressed the other cheek and the frown disappeared, even a slight smile came back. All this while the baby was still asleep.

Somehow that baby seemed to recognize the touch of his mother even when in deep sleep.

Must be some magic in that touch...

I remember when we were kids and fell sick, how our mom would sit next to us. She would just keep caressing our hair while we slept. Somehow the touch seemed to heal us. I still remember how I used to cling to my dads legs trying to hug him while I was barely above his waist height.

Even as we were growing up, my mom would give us a hug when we left for school and would welcome us with a hug when we came back. That habit lives on even today. I leave the house hugging each and everyone in the house and again hug everyone in the evening when I come back home.
Not a single day goes by when I haven't hugged each one in my family atleast 3 times.

Unfortunately, in today's time and age, we don't have time to hug, time to hold hands, time to sleep with our head in that loved one's lap...

A father doesn't have time to hug his son, a mother doesn't have time to hug her own daughter... The result... when these kids grow up, they start missing that loving touch which they received as kids. Over time, they forget the value of it.
We now have a generation where a husband hesitates to hold hands with wife in public.
We are in a generation where if a son actually goes and hugs his mother, the mother gets worried and asks - is everything alright???
We are in a generation where if I hug a guy friend I met after ages, three of the people on the road will think I'm gay...

For the first time in my entire blogging, I find myself poor, I don't have enough grammar to tell you the value of a hug, the value of a touch, the value of a clean non-sexual touch.

If you trust me as a friend, do this today. Do this right now.

Just go and hug the first person in your house right now. (that doesn't include your maid servant, she might charge you with assault.) Whether its your mom, your dad, your sister, your spouse, your brother, your sister, you friend, anybody at all... Heck, go hug your landlord...
Find a loved one and give them a hug. Not a single word, no explanations, if they ask you, just say you felt like doing it... Just one hug...

If you are not able to do this even after reading this sharing, then I'm afraid you have already lost the most valuable experience in your life and I can promise you its not coming back.

This sharing is not for you to go and like in facebook.
Its not for you to read and feel good.
Its not for you to read and think - Gulshan writes well.
Whether Gulshan writes well or not is not the question, because if this sharing is not able to change your heart, then all my writing is probably not worth a dime for you...

Go ahead, beat the hesitation, experience that hug, that touch and come back and tell me how it was...
Trust me... I'll be waiting for your comments on this one...