A time for everything...

I was so confident when I was waiting for my results. I had cleared all the exams in first attempt and was sure I was going to clear this one too.
I was confident that I was the best one in my group, infact my confidence was bordering arrogance.

Then, the results came and I had failed my CA Final exams. This was my first failure in a very very long time and I was not sure how to handle it. At that time, I was cursing the Institute and my only regret was that my professional career had been delayed by 6 months.

In the hindsight, I do think it was for a good reason. Those 6 months of preparation, studies all over again. Those 6 months of people asking me and everytime I have to reply that I failed... Those 6 months taught me humility... taught me how to handle failures... taught me to get up again...
In the hindsight, it looks like that particular attempt was not the right time for me to clear the exams. Of course I cleared the exam after 6 months and was a full fledged professional.

When I grew in love with her, it took a long time for things to work out... some struggles... those struggles looked unfair at that time... In the hindsight, maybe I was not ready for things to work out in the first time. Maybe it was the right time I was supposed to wait for...

Once I missed a project because I got my travel documents just 15 minutes late. Trust me, that was the most disappointing moment at that time... In the hindsight, maybe that was not the right time for me to go.

I always wanted to have a particular bike model for myself. I have never had the pleasure to drive a brand new bike of my own. Then, when the time came, I ended up buying a car instead. Maybe the timing was right for a car and not for a bike...

We grew up listening to our elders say - "Nobody gets more than what he deserves and before he deserves"

I have grown to become a strong believer in the timing part. I strongly believe that whatever happens, happens exactly when it is supposed to... never before, never late... exactly when it should...

We may try hard, put efforts, pray... do everything in our powers... We may be able to decide the "What" we desire... but we definitely can't decide the "When"...
Things will only happen when they are supposed to... There's a time for everything....

Beware... This is where your cunning mind will take over...
"Gulshan, if everything has to happen at its own time, then why should I work and put in efforts. Even if I don't do anything, it will still happen... right?"

No...
You still need to put in the efforts... Exams don't pass themselves, projects don't get closed by themselves, assets don't build themselves, success doesn't come by itself...
There's a "When" for every "What" you desire...
Funny thing is that we don't know when the "Whens" will come, so we actually need to be working on the "Whats" continuously so that we don't miss the right "Whens"

Think about it... there's a time for everything...

I'm just the messenger...

Just imagine that you are a postman in India way back in 1940. As you are going for work, an old man calls you from behind. The old man is Mahatma Gandhi, he gives you an article to be delivered to the press for printing and sending out to the rest of the country. You take the article, walk down to the press and deliver it.
The message was printed and sent out to the whole country and thousands of people transformed through it.

Now, you did exactly your job, but, did it make any difference to you? Years later, you will tell your grandchildren that you were the man who had delivered the message to the press... and the children will ask you - What did you do after reading that message???

Just because you delivered a message from Gandhi, you don't become a Gandhi.

Just because I deliver messages of life through my learning, I don't become the wise man. The only way to become a better person is to first implement those messages myself before I go around spreading them.

We are living in a time and age ruled by social networking. With all the technology around us, its very very easy to get powerful, emotional, knowledgeable quotes on the fly. On an average day, I receive atleast 25 quotes on FB and Twitter talking about the most profound learnings of life.

You actually feel good broadcasting such messages to the world... And that is a good thing. You don't know how many people will grow out of it... My question is... Did you grow out of it???

Its no point posting a message on love and romance when you just had a fight with your loved one and are not speaking to him / her...

Its no point posting a message on friendship when you are not on talking terms with most people in your office / college...

Its no point posting a message about God while you sit in KFC...

If you are not adding a value to the message, you are just like the postman who took Gandhi's message and delivered it... He met Gandhi, He had Gandhi's wisdom in his hands, and yet he continued to live the same life...

I don't copy paste and share on social networks. If I ever share a link, it is a thought or a quote which is a result of my own introspection. I never share my teacher's knowledge as it is. If it is my teacher's teaching, then I make sure that I have lived by it long enough.

Are you still being just the messenger???

There are no accidents

Was watching Kung Fu Panda again yesterday. In the movie, the panda will accidentally fall in the middle of a ceremony and get selected as a warrior. The master who selects him will insist that there are no accidents. Later in the movie, they disclose that being a big fat panda was actually an advantage for him because the bad guy couldn't use pressure points to hurt him (too much fat). Also, at many other points in the movie, this same thing was repeated that there are no accidents.

It was a nice bright day and I was heading for my office. It was a client meeting that day and some clients were coming from abroad, so obviously I was dressed at my best.
While driving on the road, for no reason, my bike just skid and I lost control of it. There was nothing wrong with the bike, I didn't make a mistake, the road was as clean as a runway, and still, for no reason it skid.
My new pants were tattered and I had roadrash on my knee, shins and palms.
What do I do??? Do I go home or continue to office?
I just went to office like that and did some quick first aid. Then I waited for the stores near my office to open up and bought myself a new pair of pants. The funny thing was that client visit was postponed by a day. My boss doesn't know about this accident even today.
What's important is that I got tested that day. With my understanding today, I can see that it was not a random accident that happened, rather, it was a test for me.

One day, I was going somewhere in a hurry, and slightly touched another bike. I kept going thinking that its a small thing, apparently the other guy didn't think so. He started chasing me, forced me to stop and started abusing in the middle of the road. And if any of you think that you are good with bad words, you should have heard his ample streams of profanity pouring on me.
What should I have done??? fought back? run away?
Those who know me well can imagine, for the rest of you, you just have to believe... that person and I hugged and parted ways as friends 15 minutes later.
With my understanding today, I can see that it was not a random accident, but a test for me to see how I handle a potentially explosive situation.

I know what you are thinking - Gulshan, a loved one died at a very young age in a freak accident. How do you say that was not an accident? What learning are you trying to take from that?? What kind of test is that???

Honestly, I can't answer that right now. If I could, my life could have been very different. I'm not saying everything happens for a good. I'm only saying that everything happens for a reason and there are no accidents.
Just because we, at our current maturity, are not able to see the reason doesn't mean there is no reason.

At our today's maturity, we may not have an answer to that, but I have faith that in time, the answer will reveal itself, because everything happens for a reason and there are no accidents.

Think about it...

Break It Down!!!

I have a party at my place tomorrow evening. I have to arrange for music, food, drinks, seating arrangements... so many things. On top of it, my friends want me to cook some of my specialities for the party. I have no idea how I'm going to do so many things by tomorrow evening.
The very thought of so much work makes me shudder.
Now, I can either be caught in this thinking process, or I can start working on it.
I break down the entire activity into smaller manageable bits.
First of all, I go to the neighbours and request if I could borrow their chairs for the next evening. There, one job done.
Then I call up my sister and ask for her music collection and player.
I sit down for 5 minutes and list the food I'll cook and all the required ingredients.
I run down to the neighbourhood shop and pick up the ingredients, place an order for drinks for the next evening. (I ask delivery in the morning itself so that it gives me enough buffer time)
On the way back from the shop, I pick up the music collection and player from my sister's place.
Its already evening by the time I reach home, I quickly test the music and the player I borrowed. Thankfully it works. If it hadn't, I would have copied the whole thing to my Iphone and played it through the docking station.
Too lazy to do any more serious work, I want to watch that 7 pm movie, so I just take all the vegetables and ingredients and start cutting and arranging them as I watch the TV. (Cutting veggies while watching TV can seriously reduce the cutting speed)
Before I know, its 10 and time to sleep. (after keeping the ingredients in fridge)
Next day (Party day), I get up by 7.30 and make a quick round of trips to neighbours collecting the chairs. The drinks haven't come yet.
I get into the kitchen and start cooking. Thankfully, the cutting I did last night helped save some time.
Its 12.30 noon and I'm already done with the cooking. Now I have to just put things in the oven 10 minutes before the party starts.
Drinks still haven't come.
I run down to the shop and he has got only 75% of the stock I ordered.
I pick it up and pick another dozen bottles of squash and some soda (for some instant Gulshan style inventions)

And at 3.30 pm, here I am ready for action without any stress inspite of some issues with the drinks.

Something that looked so frightening yesterday morning is already in good shape and before time just because I was able to handle one bit at a time.

The party is just an example. So many times we come across issues in office and at work which look simply huge in the beginning, but by breaking them down in smaller activities and delegating some of them, monitoring them regularly, keeping track of time we can make life much less stressful.

Whether its planning a trip, cooking a meal or planning a multi million dollar client project, the steps are pretty much the same.
Break it down, spread it into smaller time bound milestones, delegate what you can, periodically monitor, target to be ready with atleast 20% time to spare. This gives you a project level buffer.

Read the above story again and you will see that I have done each of these activities.

A lot of people think that I'm over simplifying things, but it has always worked for me.

All I need to do is to Break It Down...

Cost of my peace?

I lose my peace if the lid of my lunch box is missing early in the morning...
I lose my peace if someone took my chair in my absence and didn't place it back...
I lose my peace if there's too much salt in food...
I lose my peace if someone on my team doesn't do the job well...
I lose my peace if my boss piles up tons of work on me...
I lose my peace when people don't keep the time they promise...
I lose my peace when you don't listen to me at once...
I lose my peace when you don't understand what I'm trying to explain...
I lose my peace when the person in front of me is driving too slow...

Looks like I'm able to lose my peace at the smallest thing which doesn't go my way. You say a wrong word, do something, not do something, do any of the above and you have taken away my peace.
Looks like I've reduced the value of my own peace and anybody and anything can take it away from me.

This is not just my story but the story of every one of us reading this blog, everyone of us out there who is in search of peace...

I never understand how people spend their entire life in search of peace? How can you find peace when you were the source of peace and you gave it away for small small things around you...

What I understand now is that I have to start placing more value on my peace... I can't afford to lose it at every small thing...

My Peace should be in my control... Right now, I have no words of wisdom, or the secret, or the ultimate answer on how we can be owners of our peace.
What I know is that I am the source of my peace, there is no searching for peace and no matter what, I have to value my peace more than any other thing in this world.

Again, this sharing is not about me but about every single person who reads this blog... Its upto you to decide the value of your peace and entirely upto you to decide what to trade it for...

For no reason...

When I was a kid, there was a small homeopathy clinic near my house. This was a free clinic and one Dr. Joshi used to come there to treat people free of cost. Even I took his medication a few times. Some of those sundays, I would go and help him at his work. I liked seeing him at work...
I had become his assistant of sorts, I would help him arrange all the medicines alphabetically and by power, help him with other small small clinic related activities. Over a period of time, I even started remembering the symptoms and the medicines he would suggest for them.
He would come there Sunday after Sunday and help others... For no reason. And I would go there to assist him... For no reason...
Back then I was maybe 12 years or less, I never tried to think why he would want to spend a Sunday working for others without anything in return... Today, if you ask me why I helped him, I still don't know the answer. Maybe it was for no reason.
Last night I answered a question on one of those online forums. The question was on Excel and apparently my answer saved a lot of time for that person. I got a mail later telling how my solution had helped him and how happy that person was. You might ask me why do I have to sit and help someone online, a total stranger who will never meet me. I can think of only one answer - For no reason...
Other day when I was coming back from a jog, I don't know what I thought, I just bought a pack of chocolates and gave it to the traffic cop... said to him that he was doing awesome job and I understand its not easy standing in sun all day long... He smiled at me, took the chocolate and asked "Why?", I said - For no reason.
We live in a time and age where people are busy running the rat race. Any additional knowledge is kept as a top secret so that nobody gets ahead of us. Yet there are a few characters in my office who will share anything new that they learn, without any hesitation... - For no reason...

We find it so easy to hurt someone, so easy to be bad and so easy to be mean for no reason. If someone passes by us on the road at high speed... we think - he's going to meet an accident someday...
Why can't we be good to someone for no reason???
While walking on the road, just buy a bread and milk and give it to a poor kid... For no reason...
One day just drive down to your grandparents' place and give them a hug... For no reason...
Just keep your loved one's head on your lap and run your hand through the hair... For no reason...
One of those days, just sit in that place of prayer... For no reason...

Sometimes be good... For no reason...

Grandma!!!

Have you ever experienced holding those age worn hands, being guided by them walking down the road?
Do you remember looking into those spectacled eyes when you were just about a couple of feet tall?
That fresh smell early in the morning when you hugged her?
That snugly feeling like hugging a large soft teddy bear?
Remember when you wanted that new toy, all you had to do was point at it? not ask mom, not ask dad... just point at it...
Remember how you would come out of the school, eyes searching for her and you would find her waiting there for you... every day...
How she would rescue you when mom is torturing you with the homework...
That box beside her bed which would sometimes have cookies, sometimes dryfruits and sometimes chocolates...
That distinctive fragrance when she would open her cupboard...
How she would sit up all night when you had fever...

Yes, right now, as I write, I'm reliving all those memories which my grandmother has given me.

I grew up in a time and age when we used to stay with the grand parents. Every morning she would walk me to school. Afternoon, I would see her waiting at the school gates. Afternoons, after lunch, I would watch "Dekh Bhai Dekh" with her. Every evening, I would sit by her side when she lit the evening lamps. She initiated me into reading scriptures at a very early age.
Every evening I would sit pressing her legs with my little hands, the only problem was that I would press the legs for 1 minute and watch tv for another 5 minutes.
After I had finished my homework, we would sit and play Ludo for hours at a stretch.
My entire childhood was sprinkled with stories, morals and good things which she taught me without me even realising it.
When I was a teenager, I had my share of fights with her, still I would find her staying awake waiting for me no matter how late I got at work.

Now, my office start time matches with a few schools too. Every morning I see kids being dropped by either a driver, or by a nanny, or by a dad who is rushing to work. Where is that hug before school, hug after school, hug when you fall, hug when you are hurt, hug for pretty much everything???
I see kids spending their evenings with Ben 10 and Xbox.
Rushing from school to tuitions to dance classes.
Parents stay in metro cities for work and grand parents back in home town, just getting a quarterly glimpse of their grand children.
The kids today think their grand parents are boring.

I lost my grandma at the age of 20. That day, a part of me became orphan. Although I have absolutely unconditional love of my mom and dad, there's still a void which I know is filled only with memories now.
Those 20 years of my life were the most memorable. Each of the memories is crystal clear in my head. I'm just grateful that I was fortunate to experience all those good things.

I couldn't help but think of my grandmother today, it would have been her birthday today. I remember how she would bake a cake for me every birthday. And, it used to be a ceremony when she baked, meticulously measuring each ingredient to get it perfect.
I really wish each and every child could go through those beautiful moments with grandparents... everyday...
One needs to be blessed to have grand parents, and even more blessed and grateful if one gets to live with his grandparents.