Lets decide the "What"

Let’s play this little game of imagination.

Imagine that you are the CEO of a big multinational company with 500 employees. One day, an office boy comes to you and asks for your time to discuss something very important. Obviously you have a large organization to run and the office boy may not be your top priority. But, being a good CEO, you will make a provision in your time and meet him later.

Now, let’s imagine that the office boy wants to meet you immediately and is adamant about it. He even offers to get you a box of chocolates. You still don’t agree to meet him immediately because you obviously have more priorities. Next, he offers you a cut from his salary so that you meet him immediately.

By now, you are laughing at this guy.

What on earth is he thinking? Trying to pay you a cut from the salary you pay him. If you had a choice, you would have met him on your own time, but because the office boy was pushing so hard, you may actually decide not to meet him at all… Am I right???

Now, Imagine that you are the CEO of a company which has billions of employees and each one of them has a demand on your time. You are a good boss and you want to meet each one of them. Do you think its possible to meet them at the time of their choice??

Obviously not…

You will have to plan your time and meet them as per your schedule. Right??

So, effectively, you allowed them to decide “What” they want, and you are willing to give it, but you will decide “When” to give as per your schedule.

Let me remind you that you and I are still humans.

We as humans are willing to give what the other person wants but we want to decide when to give it, then why can’t we accept this as a fact when it’s time for us to ask.

Why do we have to behave like that office boy and make unreasonable demands and want them fulfilled now?

Every time we make a wish, we want it fulfilled now. We are willing to make deals and proposals to Him in our prayers to make sure it happens “Now”…

That’s not how the system works. Every wish that I make, every thought that I release, every desire that I have, will be fulfilled, but it will take time.

I wanted to marry that girl, so I released a thought, problem is that I wanted to marry her immediately... That’s not gonna happen.

So life took its time and when the timing was right, we got married.

After watching so many Lara Croft movies, you want to marry Angelina Jolie.

There’s just a small glitch, about a million other people want that too, she is already married and has a dozen kids, and she’s about 20 years older to you.

So, does that mean it’s never going to happen?

Let me give you the good news…

I’m a strong believer in the Cosmic Conspirer’s System and I’m telling you that it will happen. Not today, not tomorrow, maybe not in this lifetime, but it will happen.

“He” needs time to move things around and fulfil your wish. Out of personal experience, I can say that it will happen. (okay. . . it wasn’t Angelina Jolie for me, but you got the point).

I have learnt that I just need to decide the “what” and He will decide the “when”…

Real misery happens when we try to decide the “what” and the “when”. And when things don’t happen as her our time, we become miserable…

You are trying to clear that professional exam and somehow things don’t work out, you become miserable.

You want that promotion, and for some reason you didn’t get it this year, you become miserable.

Wouldn’t life be more peaceful if you could just tell yourself, maybe it was not the right time and continue striving for it?

But Be Careful….

I’m not asking you to develop a defeatist attitude and give up. You can’t say this to your boss that “the timing for completion of the project was not right’’. He’ll probably kick you out of the office.

Where “Effort” is required, put in the necessary efforts…. Make sure you have done everything you can and then wait for the result… Be patient… Don’t be disparate…

I’m just saying that everytime you fall, just get up, dust your pants and start running again.

Desperation is never the answer.

Let’s make this shift in our thinking process.

Lets decide the “What” and let Him decide the “When”. . .

How many Gods do you have?

I was recently talking to a friend who is not Indian. Somehow the topic got diverted to religion and here's what my friend said - "I never understand your religion, it looks like you guys have more gods in India than you have people... and you guys are over a billion and counting. What do you do with so many Gods? Don't you feel like consolidating??"

Well, what do you think my answer was... I know, your first guess is that it was another long lecture of Moral Science.
Well... for a change I kept it simple and just replied - "Well... thats India"

But today, I have a question to ask of you...
You agree that God is infinite... You also agree that as Humans, we are finite... The finite has been created by the infinite. Then how can the finite with its finite knowledge ever define the infinite into one single form?
What are we trying to achieve by saying that God is an entity with a form and a name?

We all agree that as kids (very little kids), we do whatever our elders say, we look up to them, we try to emulate them, we treat them as elders.
Don't you agree that not all elders are the same to us when we are kids. Some boys are closer to their moms and relate better with their moms. Some girls are closer to their dads. I was very close to my grandma, but whenever I wanted something, I would get close to my grandpa.

Can we create a rule that all the kids in the world should always only listen to their dads? No...
Kids will always relate to elders like whom they want to be. They try to copy the elders they look up to. Kids try really hard not to disappoint their favourite elders.

I know what you are thinking...What does this have to do with a billion gods?

It does.

As humans, we are unique independent characters. We have different preferences, we like different things, we love different people, we fear different things. On the same basis, each one of us could feel connected to a different symbol of faith.
For example, my grandma was very interested in scriptures, she used to read Bhagavat Gita very regularly, so obviously, she felt more connected to Krishna, so she used to Worship Krishna. A friend of mine is a very timid guy, doesn't want to hurt others, somehow he can connect better with Lord Mahaveera. My mom looks up to Goddess Lakshmi, Goddess of wealth and fortune. I'm a simple guy and trust people very easily, I used to feel especially connected to Lord Shiva, so I grew up worshiping Lord Shiva.

How I wish that every one of us including I could transcend these forms. If only we could realise the fact that the God is a Force. Indescribable, Indestructible, Infinite... how could we even try to describe this Force into a single form?

When we worship these different forms, we are only worshipping an extension of something within us. When we worship the 9 forms of the Goddess, we are just looking up to the various aspects of ourselves. When we worship Goddess Lakshmi, we are just looking up to our desire for prosperity. When we worship Lord Shani, we are looking up to our own desire to be disciplined and so on.

My friend had no idea how correct he was when he made that statement. Just one correction. The number of Gods in India is not more than the people in India, its exactly the same. We have exactly the same number of Gods as the number of people in India.
We identify ourselves with one of the forms of that Force and each one of us is capable of eventually transcending that form to embrace the formless. I know that in this lifetime, that day will come. A day when numbers and names of God won't matter. A day when that Force will be a reason for unity among people. That day, no one will ask the question about god.

Have you identified your God yet?

Jo Dikhta hai...

I recently saw an advertisement on TV where people are buying stuff online and one of them doesn't trust it. So, one of the characters says "xxxx pe jo dikhta hai, wohi bikta hai". It means what is displayed is exactly what is sold to you.
All the credit for this sharing goes to the person who created this quote...

The amazing thing about language is that this same statement can be interpreted in a very different way...
Jo dikhta hai... wohi bikta hai...
What is displayed... is what is sold...
What is displayed....
Thats is what is sold...

So, if it is not displayed, it is not sold...

I used to work in a retail shop and the boss used to place very high importance on the display of the store...
He would pick out the best pieces himself and guide us to create the shop display... Interestingly, those would turn out the hottest selling items

Have you noticed one thing common across all the movie trailers... whether english or hindi movies... one thing is common across all trailers --- 90% of the best shots in the movie are shown in the trailers.

Even when you go for an interview, you wear your best shirt and tie...

One thing common across all this is to make sure that the best is at display...

What is displayed... is what is sold...
That which is displayed is sold...

Do you think it will make sense that I get the best merchandise in my shop but don't keep it on display???

Will it make sense that you have a strength but don't display it in the interview???

Now, once you have cracked the interview and got the job, do you still do it???

I have a friend who is a bit weak in accounts, so he went all the distance, did all the extra research just before the job interview and prepared his accounting knowledge as much as possible. Obviously, he got the job because he was able to display a strength in accounts on that day...
My question to him is - Now that you have the job, are you still putting the same effort???

Even in office, your boss will see the strengths which you display...
The work you get will be based on the strengths which you display...
You will get the next promotion... the next project... the next client.... based on the strengths which you have displayed....

I'm a complete show off.... But right now I'm not talking about showing off...
Showing off is different from displaying the strengths...

You have been in a job for the last 1 / 2 / 5 / 10 / 15 years... are you displaying your strengths in the same way as you did on day 1??? Are you demonstrating capabilities... leadership... ownership???

Tomorrow is the start of a new week for most of us...
Lets start the week with this mantra...
That which is displayed... is sold...
Jo dikhta hai... wohi bikta hai...

"L" Board

I learnt to drive a car quite a few years ago. Last year, we bought a car in the family and I was expected to drive it. There was just this one small issue - I had not driven a car in 6 years, and never driven one on the main roads by myself.
In India, we have a concept of placing a big red "L" on the front and rear windshields. This is to let the people around know that the driver is still learning and should be given more space.
People on the road tend to be a little less rude to "L" board drivers.
At first I pasted the "L" board for the benefit of surrounding traffic. It's been close to 5000 kilometres and I still have the "L" board on.
Somehow, I don't feel like removing it. There's so many things I need to learn about driving.

I just realised, that's the case with almost everything in my life.
Till yesterday evening, I was one of the best in my office. Today morning I walked into a classroom as a student and woke up to a fact that there were 83 better than me sitting inside that classroom alone (I'm not even talking about the whole world... just inside that class)
I just realised how much more there is to learn... and how ridiculously less I know.

Thankfully, I'm taking steps necessary to move towards better knowledge levels.

Problem is - I took the steps after an idle time of almost 8 years.

My question to you is - Are you continuously learning???
Have you kept the student alive in you???
Is you ego feeding you with an illusion that you know everything???
Forget about big things...
What is a new thing you learnt today?
What was a new thing you learnt this week?
What was something new you learnt this month?
Heck... Have you learnt anything new in the last one year???
When was the last time you learnt anything new and useful???

These were the questions haunting me and I have made a conscious decision to keep the "L" board up for a long long time... not just on my car but in my life as well.

Is your "L" board up???

Challa...

I've no idea who I have been looking for...
I just keep searching for him... looking for his place... asking people where he lives...
I keep laughing while I look for him...
I keep crying while I look for him...
Looking up and down the streets...
I feel like I belong to the whole world but I have nothing of mine...
I'm looking for him but don't know where to find him.

In the colours of the rainbow, in the chirps of the birds, in sunshine and shadows, I look for him.
Like one looks for the moon among the clouds... I listen for his sound in the silent winds...

I'm sure he is somewhere very close to me, I can't see him but I can smell his fragrance in everything around me.

He was never separate from me, how is it that I'm searching for him and trying to look for him.
I'm like that prisoner of love who never wants to be freed.

He promised that he'll meet me in my dreams, but the joy of meeting him doesn't allow me to sleep all night...
The very thought of meeting him once in this life makes me breathless.

I keep looking for him... not knowing who he is... not knowing what he looks like... not knowing where to find him... not knowing what I would do when I meet him... I still keep looking for him...

The beautiful thing about music is that it carries different meaning for different people. The above expression is a rough translation of a song I heard a few months. (Times like this, I realise the poverty of my language, I don't have enough words to express the beauty of the original song.)

The song is about a guy who is looking for someone he saw just once. But to me this song has a very different meaning.
To me, this song beautifully shows man's search for his God.
Man looks for God everywhere, in temples, in mosques, in churches, in other places of worship. Man goes to wise men, saints, priests asking for God's address, asking for a way to experience God.
Man searches the elements, the nature, the stars for his God.
Why is it that Man keeps looking for Him when He was never separated from Man. Why is it that Man is surrounded by God, yet keeps looking for Him... Close your eyes and you will experience Him...

Challa is a Punjabi word which means crazy guy. So true, if Man keeps looking for Him all over the place, man must be crazy only... right???

Its not something new which I'm sharing, this is the knowledge handed down to us since thousands of years, yet, like a crazy guy, millions of us will get up tomorrow morning and will run to temples and churches and mosques looking for Him. Maybe, just maybe if we stop looking and just be still, be silent, we just might experience him in that stillness and silence...

Challe... tu ki labda phire???

Choices and Decisions???

Choice is a  possibility to choose from among multiple options.
Decision is the action of having made a choice.

All of us know that as long as we have a choice, we are free to choose... Its a huge freedom...
Once we have made the decision, we are bound by it. Look at it, the very languaging is that we are bound by our decisions. Decision is a bondage...
Right???
We know that we are living in a world full of choices... yet... are we satisfied with what we have??? Are we satisfied with the choices we have?
What's wrong?

What if I turned this entire understanding upside down for you...
What if I tell you that choices are not exactly the freedom they seem to be...
What if I tell you that decision is not the bondage it seems to be...
What if I said that Decision is the biggest freedom in the world that you can gift yourself...

Yep... you read it right...

A friend had come over to stay in Bangalore and was put up at a hotel near my house. Three days which he stayed, I would go and drop him to the hotel on my bike. There was a U turn right in front of the hotel, if we enter the one way, we could save about 2-3 minutes and a few hundred metres of distance, but still I was taking the U turn everyday.
You could easily say - "Being in India, everyone doesn't follow rules perfectly... late night at 11.00 pm, there's not much traffic, no cops... its okay just make a quick trip in the wrong direction carefully and just drop the friend quickly..."
I have a choice to go or not to go...
I can choose based on the traffic at that point of time...
I can check if there's a cop there and based on that I can choose...
Once I have chosen to enter the road from wrong side, I have the choice to stay either on left or on right of the road.
A person coming from the other side has a choice to take the other side or keep coming down the same side...
So much energy is lost in thinking all this, within seconds and that too everytime I go down that road...

Honestly, I don't have the patience...

What do I do?
I gain freedom by  making a decision... A simple decision - I will follow traffic rules...
Now I don't have to waste time and energy thinking about these things...

Recently a friend of mine promised me to give up smoking... a few days later, I saw him smoking right outside my house. I didn't ask but he himself came and said - "This is the first one after 2 weeks, just one occasion since I have a lot of tension."
I didn't see a point in explaining anything...
He is still a prisoner of choice... he has not yet achieved the freedom of decision...

I was a hard core non vegetarian. The quantity of chicken I downed in one meal could put any of my non-veg friends to shame.
Umpteen number of times, I decided that I would give up chicken. First I decided I would eat chicken only when my mom cooks it. Then I decided I would eat chicken only on special occasions. I took up will power games of giving up chicken for 2 weeks, 3 weeks and one month etc.
Finally, I would still go and get one for myself and waste all the effort by digging into that grilled chicken.
This was happening because I was leaving choices open for me. I know that a life is lost everytime to satisfy my 2 inch long tongue. I used to go through some guilt everytime after eating non-veg food.

Then one day, something happened and I decided that I will never have a dead body on my plate again. I decided that my taste buds will never cost a life.
That day I achieved freedom. Its been 5 years and I don't even get a question in my mind on whether I should eat or not.

I decided to have her as my life partner, I don't have to keep looking.

I decided to choose this industry as my career path, I don't have to keep searching.

I decided that my family will always stay in the same city where I live, not there's no two thoughts about it... this one decision is clear, all the other decisions revolve around it.

Choices... You call them freedom, I call them wastage of energy...

Decisions... You call them bondage... I call them freedom.

The most romantic couples I have ever seen are the ones who have been married for 30,40,50 years. Do you think they had the kind of choices we have today. Do you think they have grown to love each other because they each had lots of choices?? Or because they made decisions and stood by them??

I know what you are thinking.... "Gulshan, what if you have made a wrong decision? How will you know if you don't keep looking for options"

My dear, never ever question the decisions you have already made, they belong to the past. Even if they were wrong, its past now. Your next decision can define the rest of your life.

There are no right or wrong decisions, what we do with those decisions makes them right or wrong.

Inertia...

Have you ever been in a function where everyone was dancing and celebrating. Most probably, you were the one sitting at the side watching others dance. You too want to dance but feel shy, that's why you are sitting.
Then, someone comes and pulls you by the hand. First few minutes are awkward, but then you start dancing. Before you know you are dancing in full swing and that day you were the last one to get off the stage.
First getting up to dance was difficult, then you enjoyed it so much that stopping the dance was difficult.

One of those days, you were sitting in the office and working on some issue. Since morning, you hadn't moved and inch on the issue. You were totally stuck and had no idea how to proceed. Around 4.50 in the evening you decided that you will give it another 10 minutes and if nothing works out, you'll call it a day and continue working on it next day.
Somehow, at 4.50 you got the breakthrough and suddenly everything started working out. Before you know, it was 9.30 in the night, you were still in office and finally happy that things worked out.
At first, getting a start was difficult, once you found the solution, stopping was difficult.

Back in school, there were times when you would sit for hours together without getting past 5 pages and then something would click and you would finish the whole book before you get up for dinner.

It was a huge deal for me when I started working out first, but once I started, I was totally hooked on to working on my body.

I started blogging 4 years ago and blogged non stop since then. I stopped for some reason a few weeks ago, and I haven't blogged for almost a month.

There's actually a scientific term for this --- "INERTIA"

Apparently, inertia is not just restricted to the science labs. Its deeply woven into our daily lives.

According to Isaac Newton - The vis insita, or innate force of matter, is a power of resisting by which every body, as much as in it lies, endeavours to preserve its present state, whether it be of rest or of moving uniformly forward in a straight line.

In simple english - That which has stopped, continues to stop and that which is moving continues to move.

Whenever we try to start something good, we find it difficult to start because of the inertia. Similarly, when we try to stop something bad, we find it difficult because of the inertia. But the beauty is that once it is started again, then there is no stopping.

Why I suddenly stopped writing is not relevant right now, I've just overcome the inertia and started writing again.

Tomorrow is a Monday and I think this is the best opportunity to identify our inertia. Where do we find it difficult to start, and where all do we find it difficult to stop.
Lets start the week by overcoming the inertia in our lives...