Money is never the problem

I have this amazing character. He lives in a family of 4.
Interestingly 3 of them in the family are earning members and only 1 non earning member, still, whenever I meet him, he is complaining about his money problems.
Just last week when we were speaking on phone he started off with his dukhi dastaan (sad story)... "So much money is stuck in collections, I have to settle this much loans, markets are going down, no money at all... and so on"
Last night I saw his facebook update... "Off to Ooty for the weekend with family... very excited"

Does he really have money problem???

With 3 earning members, earning decently... if the person has enough budgets to go for a family holiday... then does he really have a money problem?

No... Money is never a problem... Money management is the problem...

My first job was for Rs. 450 per month as a trainee... I never had money problems...
Most of us who are reading this will be earning atleast a few hundred times of that right now... Still do you have money problems?

This friend of mine is a classic example of confused priorities...

Most of us think we are not earning enough because we almost always find it difficult to manage the month ends... thats our Money problem...
How many of us actually have a bank balance equal to next 6 months of our expenses?

Fact is that most of us are actually earning what we need or something more. Problem happens with the way we spend the money... its actually problem with the Money management...

An average person's money planning could be as follows:
15% - 20% of monthly income towards rent (if staying in a rented house)
10% - 15% of monthly income towards provisions
10% - 15% of monthly income towards entertainment and outings, personal needs, clothing, fashion etc.
10% towards commuting, phone bills, electricity bills etc.
15% towards investments - gold, bank, shares... whatever...
10% set aside every month for an annual holiday with family...
taking the outer limits, you have spent about 80% of your monthly income.
(If you stay in your own house, then the rent fund and investment fund could be used for paying the EMIs)
You still have 20% left which is freely available, can become your emergency fund etc.
What else could you need?

Going by this standard, an average person spending about Rs. 30,000 per month could live a decent life (if not luxurious). A person making anything above Rs. 50,000 per month can live like a king.

Problem happens when these calculations are not followed. You spend too much on entertainment, holidays, rent an expensive apartment just for the social status, take up EMIs which are disproportionate to your income, invest money in every second insurance policy you get from those telemarketing guys...
and the biggest financial sin of them all --- swipe your credit card...

If you are one of those thinking too much about your money problems... then step back and look at it my way...
Money is never the problem... Money management is...

Forgive and forget...

There was this character who did some really mean things to me and my family and landed us in a few years worth of trouble.

I had always wanted to punch him right in the nose and break it the next time I see him.

Then, I met my teacher. My teacher taught me that carrying grudge is like carrying a fireball in bare hands, it won’t do any good to anybody and will only burn my hands hurting me further.

With this new found knowledge, I decided to forgive him and drop all the grudge against him.

After very many years, his name came up in some discussion and I could feel the seething anger rising inside my head and felt like punching something (preferably his nose)

What exactly is wrong with me? Why did I even get that thought?

I don’t normally get angry…  feel like punching is definitely not me… especially for someone whom I have already forgiven…

The answer to this came to me a few days later and the answer is

“I Can forgive what he did, but I can’t forget what he did…”

The question is, today, if that person comes in front of me -

Will I get a thought of hurting him? Yes… (I’m still a normal human being, and have a long way to go)

Will I do it? No… (I’m a strong believer in Gandhigiri)

Will I be able to respect him? I don’t know…

Have I forgiven him??? Yes… (or atleast I think I have)

Have I forgotten what he did??? No…

What I have learnt is that Forgiveness is not enough… it has to be followed up with forgetting.

Its ok to retain the lesson from the experience… but one can’t be at peace unless he forgives and forgets…

I guess the next level of my emotional growth will come when I become capable to Forgive and Forget…

Mood Nahi Hai...

Was spending time with a friend few days ago. There were a few things not going okay with him, so obviously he was in a grumpy mood. He has a discipline of praying at a certain time everyday and it happened to be that time. I reminded him that its time for his prayer, and he replied – “Jaa bey… Mood nahi hai…” (translated --- Go Man… I’m not in the mood)

“Oh… Ok” was my response.

It was not going to be any use talking to him at that time because his mind was disturbed.

Just imagine… God had a fight with his wife, you go to pray to God and he says “Aaj mood nahi hai…” and doesn’t listen to your prayer… how will you feel??

If you go to your Mom and ask for food and she says “Aaj mood nahi hai…” what will you do?

You go to your teacher to discuss about your growth and the teacher says “Aaj mood nahi hai…” will you like it?

You yourself create a discipline of praying at a certain time. Now, He has got used to your prayers and actually waits for it everyday at that time. Just because something is not okay in your life, you decide not to offer your prayers???

That is not at all fair…

There is a reason why we pray at the same time every day. By praying at the same time and in the same manner, you are creating a discipline, a pattern. He comes and waits for you at that time to listen to your prayers.

Now, think, what would be the best time to tell Him all your problems?

Obviously, the time when he is listening… right?

That is nothing but the time when you pray normally... right?

But, when you have a problem, you decide not to pray. The result is that – One, your problem did not get solved. Two, your discipline is broken, He came and went back without receiving a prayer.

Arey Lallu… when your mood is bad… that is the best time to pray…

What you speak in prayer at that time will be from your heart… and will be heard.

If you are not right, you will receive a self realization.

This is not some philosophy or theory… but my personal experience.

Everytime I’m in a bad mood, or somebody does something bad to me, or somebody says something wrong to me, or I’m facing a problem I can’t handle, anything… I pray…

I don’t know if God exists or not, whether He comes to help me or not… what I definitely know is that the issue somehow gets resolved by someone’s help or I get some idea or thought or find a way to resolve it.

Please… Please… Please… atleast don’t play your mood games with Him…