Break It Down!!!

I have a party at my place tomorrow evening. I have to arrange for music, food, drinks, seating arrangements... so many things. On top of it, my friends want me to cook some of my specialities for the party. I have no idea how I'm going to do so many things by tomorrow evening.
The very thought of so much work makes me shudder.
Now, I can either be caught in this thinking process, or I can start working on it.
I break down the entire activity into smaller manageable bits.
First of all, I go to the neighbours and request if I could borrow their chairs for the next evening. There, one job done.
Then I call up my sister and ask for her music collection and player.
I sit down for 5 minutes and list the food I'll cook and all the required ingredients.
I run down to the neighbourhood shop and pick up the ingredients, place an order for drinks for the next evening. (I ask delivery in the morning itself so that it gives me enough buffer time)
On the way back from the shop, I pick up the music collection and player from my sister's place.
Its already evening by the time I reach home, I quickly test the music and the player I borrowed. Thankfully it works. If it hadn't, I would have copied the whole thing to my Iphone and played it through the docking station.
Too lazy to do any more serious work, I want to watch that 7 pm movie, so I just take all the vegetables and ingredients and start cutting and arranging them as I watch the TV. (Cutting veggies while watching TV can seriously reduce the cutting speed)
Before I know, its 10 and time to sleep. (after keeping the ingredients in fridge)
Next day (Party day), I get up by 7.30 and make a quick round of trips to neighbours collecting the chairs. The drinks haven't come yet.
I get into the kitchen and start cooking. Thankfully, the cutting I did last night helped save some time.
Its 12.30 noon and I'm already done with the cooking. Now I have to just put things in the oven 10 minutes before the party starts.
Drinks still haven't come.
I run down to the shop and he has got only 75% of the stock I ordered.
I pick it up and pick another dozen bottles of squash and some soda (for some instant Gulshan style inventions)

And at 3.30 pm, here I am ready for action without any stress inspite of some issues with the drinks.

Something that looked so frightening yesterday morning is already in good shape and before time just because I was able to handle one bit at a time.

The party is just an example. So many times we come across issues in office and at work which look simply huge in the beginning, but by breaking them down in smaller activities and delegating some of them, monitoring them regularly, keeping track of time we can make life much less stressful.

Whether its planning a trip, cooking a meal or planning a multi million dollar client project, the steps are pretty much the same.
Break it down, spread it into smaller time bound milestones, delegate what you can, periodically monitor, target to be ready with atleast 20% time to spare. This gives you a project level buffer.

Read the above story again and you will see that I have done each of these activities.

A lot of people think that I'm over simplifying things, but it has always worked for me.

All I need to do is to Break It Down...

Cost of my peace?

I lose my peace if the lid of my lunch box is missing early in the morning...
I lose my peace if someone took my chair in my absence and didn't place it back...
I lose my peace if there's too much salt in food...
I lose my peace if someone on my team doesn't do the job well...
I lose my peace if my boss piles up tons of work on me...
I lose my peace when people don't keep the time they promise...
I lose my peace when you don't listen to me at once...
I lose my peace when you don't understand what I'm trying to explain...
I lose my peace when the person in front of me is driving too slow...

Looks like I'm able to lose my peace at the smallest thing which doesn't go my way. You say a wrong word, do something, not do something, do any of the above and you have taken away my peace.
Looks like I've reduced the value of my own peace and anybody and anything can take it away from me.

This is not just my story but the story of every one of us reading this blog, everyone of us out there who is in search of peace...

I never understand how people spend their entire life in search of peace? How can you find peace when you were the source of peace and you gave it away for small small things around you...

What I understand now is that I have to start placing more value on my peace... I can't afford to lose it at every small thing...

My Peace should be in my control... Right now, I have no words of wisdom, or the secret, or the ultimate answer on how we can be owners of our peace.
What I know is that I am the source of my peace, there is no searching for peace and no matter what, I have to value my peace more than any other thing in this world.

Again, this sharing is not about me but about every single person who reads this blog... Its upto you to decide the value of your peace and entirely upto you to decide what to trade it for...

For no reason...

When I was a kid, there was a small homeopathy clinic near my house. This was a free clinic and one Dr. Joshi used to come there to treat people free of cost. Even I took his medication a few times. Some of those sundays, I would go and help him at his work. I liked seeing him at work...
I had become his assistant of sorts, I would help him arrange all the medicines alphabetically and by power, help him with other small small clinic related activities. Over a period of time, I even started remembering the symptoms and the medicines he would suggest for them.
He would come there Sunday after Sunday and help others... For no reason. And I would go there to assist him... For no reason...
Back then I was maybe 12 years or less, I never tried to think why he would want to spend a Sunday working for others without anything in return... Today, if you ask me why I helped him, I still don't know the answer. Maybe it was for no reason.
Last night I answered a question on one of those online forums. The question was on Excel and apparently my answer saved a lot of time for that person. I got a mail later telling how my solution had helped him and how happy that person was. You might ask me why do I have to sit and help someone online, a total stranger who will never meet me. I can think of only one answer - For no reason...
Other day when I was coming back from a jog, I don't know what I thought, I just bought a pack of chocolates and gave it to the traffic cop... said to him that he was doing awesome job and I understand its not easy standing in sun all day long... He smiled at me, took the chocolate and asked "Why?", I said - For no reason.
We live in a time and age where people are busy running the rat race. Any additional knowledge is kept as a top secret so that nobody gets ahead of us. Yet there are a few characters in my office who will share anything new that they learn, without any hesitation... - For no reason...

We find it so easy to hurt someone, so easy to be bad and so easy to be mean for no reason. If someone passes by us on the road at high speed... we think - he's going to meet an accident someday...
Why can't we be good to someone for no reason???
While walking on the road, just buy a bread and milk and give it to a poor kid... For no reason...
One day just drive down to your grandparents' place and give them a hug... For no reason...
Just keep your loved one's head on your lap and run your hand through the hair... For no reason...
One of those days, just sit in that place of prayer... For no reason...

Sometimes be good... For no reason...

Grandma!!!

Have you ever experienced holding those age worn hands, being guided by them walking down the road?
Do you remember looking into those spectacled eyes when you were just about a couple of feet tall?
That fresh smell early in the morning when you hugged her?
That snugly feeling like hugging a large soft teddy bear?
Remember when you wanted that new toy, all you had to do was point at it? not ask mom, not ask dad... just point at it...
Remember how you would come out of the school, eyes searching for her and you would find her waiting there for you... every day...
How she would rescue you when mom is torturing you with the homework...
That box beside her bed which would sometimes have cookies, sometimes dryfruits and sometimes chocolates...
That distinctive fragrance when she would open her cupboard...
How she would sit up all night when you had fever...

Yes, right now, as I write, I'm reliving all those memories which my grandmother has given me.

I grew up in a time and age when we used to stay with the grand parents. Every morning she would walk me to school. Afternoon, I would see her waiting at the school gates. Afternoons, after lunch, I would watch "Dekh Bhai Dekh" with her. Every evening, I would sit by her side when she lit the evening lamps. She initiated me into reading scriptures at a very early age.
Every evening I would sit pressing her legs with my little hands, the only problem was that I would press the legs for 1 minute and watch tv for another 5 minutes.
After I had finished my homework, we would sit and play Ludo for hours at a stretch.
My entire childhood was sprinkled with stories, morals and good things which she taught me without me even realising it.
When I was a teenager, I had my share of fights with her, still I would find her staying awake waiting for me no matter how late I got at work.

Now, my office start time matches with a few schools too. Every morning I see kids being dropped by either a driver, or by a nanny, or by a dad who is rushing to work. Where is that hug before school, hug after school, hug when you fall, hug when you are hurt, hug for pretty much everything???
I see kids spending their evenings with Ben 10 and Xbox.
Rushing from school to tuitions to dance classes.
Parents stay in metro cities for work and grand parents back in home town, just getting a quarterly glimpse of their grand children.
The kids today think their grand parents are boring.

I lost my grandma at the age of 20. That day, a part of me became orphan. Although I have absolutely unconditional love of my mom and dad, there's still a void which I know is filled only with memories now.
Those 20 years of my life were the most memorable. Each of the memories is crystal clear in my head. I'm just grateful that I was fortunate to experience all those good things.

I couldn't help but think of my grandmother today, it would have been her birthday today. I remember how she would bake a cake for me every birthday. And, it used to be a ceremony when she baked, meticulously measuring each ingredient to get it perfect.
I really wish each and every child could go through those beautiful moments with grandparents... everyday...
One needs to be blessed to have grand parents, and even more blessed and grateful if one gets to live with his grandparents.

My Annual Appraisal!!!

Yep... that's right... Today was my yearly performance appraisal.

I got spoiled today, went out for a movie, had junk food for Breakfast, Chinese for lunch, 3 large Sprites, more cold drinks.

I started my day with 3 different types of cakes and right from the beginning of the day, I was showered with tons and tons of love, gifts, greetings... today was the day I became a part of this world...

Its only in the last half hour that I actually sat down and digested how amazing a day I had. Obviously, the question came... Have I earned this day?

Every year this day reminds me of how many people care for me and the question comes - Have I cared for that many and more?

Every year this day reminds me of how much the world added to me and the question comes - How much have I added to the world?

Every year this day asks me - Have I done enough justice with what abilities were given to me???

These are typically the questions we face in an appraisal with the boss asking us the questions. But, aren't these questions what we can ask ourselves every once in a while?

Thankfully, I seem to have the answers... I think I have cared for those who care for me... atleast that if not more...
I think I have added a bit more to this world than what I have taken from it...
I think I have lived up to my abilities...
I think I have made a difference in a few more lives...

The overall verdict of this year's appraisal - "Met Expectations. Can do better. Have more aggressive goals and keep working towards meeting those goals"

I think my yearly appraisal with myself went well today if not great...

Thanks to all those who have contributed to my lifetime... I assure you that I'll live upto your expectations and more...

Plan Backwards...

No matter how much you plan, how much you start on time, how much you try... you still end up late...
Project late... appointment late... meeting late... report submission late...
No matter what you do... still end up late...
Is that your problem too?

The best thing about my first mentor was that he had started moulding me even before he employed me. When I went in for my first interview with him, after the initial questions about me and my family, he didn't ask anything about my accounts knowledge, my grades, nothing. Instead, he asked a very different question. This is how the conversation went:
Boss - Do you know how far is the railway station from here?
Gulshan - About 5 km from here
Boss - If you have to come from Railway station to here, how long will it take?
Gulshan - About 10 minutes (this is more than 10 years back when traffic was not as bad as today)
Boss - Do you know how many signals are there in between?
Gulshan - About 6 traffic signals on the way.
Boss - Assuming each signal is a 2 minute signal, and assuming you have to stop at only 3 of the signals, you will end up losing 6 minutes just waiting at the signals... How will you make the entire distance in the remaining 4 minutes?
Gulshan - I think I want to revise it to 15 minutes.
Boss - That's better. By the way, I forgot to mention... There are 2 movie theatres on the way. Whenever a show gets over, it creates a bit of a traffic jam, do you think you want to consider that?
Gulshan - (By now I was getting a hang of it) I think I'll add 5 minutes for each traffic jam. That makes it 25 minutes. Frankly, I haven't traveled on this road much, so I think I will be safe if I add another 10 minutes as a safety. Bringing the total time estimate to 35 minutes.
Boss - That looks more practical.

Most of the time, problem happens when we start planning. We always plan forwards. Whether it is a wedding, a project, a report preparation or just a trip to the airport... For anything we do, our typical planning style is - we will start by this time, it will take so long, we should be done by this time... simple...
We always start at the starting point and move towards the goal.

What my boss taught me that day was the importance of planning backwards. Through the years I worked with him, I learnt a very effective planning approach which has almost always worked for me.

The most important part of any activity is the goal, the end objective. The second most important part is the time when the goal should be achieved. Everything else is just on the way... just work in process.
So, I always start from the goal and the target time.
If I have to be submit a 100 page report by the end of this week, I will break it down into logical bits... either chapter wise, topic wise, or just plain no. of pages. If I have to submit the report by Friday evening, I'll ensure that my report is ready on Thursday evening. This gives me a full day of safety to provide for contingencies. Now, I'll break the whole report into 4 parts and make sure that I complete one part each day. This takes care of my consistency. This will prevent any last minute rush and keep the stress distributed over the period.
The most important part is that I review at the end of every day to make sure of the progress.
A PLAN WITHOUT PERIODIC REVIEW IS JUST AN ILLUSION.

I'm probably not the best planner in the world, but it has always worked for me. It just might for you too. So here's what I would share with anyone who plans things:

1. Identify the goal
2. Identify the time by which the goal has to be achieved.
3. Break down the entire process into smaller manageable phases. Typically such phases should not exceed 6-8. Example - different stages of a project, or different topics of a report.
4. Define the time by which each phase should be completed.
5. Based on the completion time and the duration of each phase, fix a start time for each phase. (this is an important stage, a phase can be completed only and only if it is started on time)
6. By now, you should have a list of different phases, their start times and end times. This is your control point.
7. Now, break down each phase into daily / weekly schedule.
8. Delegate and monitor based on the daily / weekly schedule and regularly check with the overall phase status.
9. Create a reporting / feedback mechanism so you don't have to follow up.
10. Most Important: Religiously review the status every day.
11. Revise the approach / strategy if there are any deviations at the phase level.

I know that this sharing has been a long one and maybe boring for some of my readers. But, trust me, there's always a reason for every single sharing I have ever written.

In faith that this sharing will make a difference to you. Let the coming week be the start of a more planned, less stressful life for all of us.

Asato ma sad gamaya...

असतो मा सद्गमय।।
तमसो मा ज्योतिर्गमय।।
मृत्योर्मामृतं गमय।।
ॐ शांति शांति शांति।।

This is an ancient prayer commonly said on the festival of Diwali.
Literally transalated, it means -
From ignorance, lead me to truth.
From darkness, lead me to light.
From death, lead me to immortality.
Om, let there be peace... peace... peace...

This has been the prayer every Diwali in every Hindu household for probably thousands of years...

Something which I shared last week was still running inside my head today...

How long will we keep asking God to take us from ignorance to truth???
How long will we keep asking God to take us from darkness to light???
How long will we keep asking God to lead us to eternal life???
How long will we keep asking for peace???

Why can't we be the truth in our life... Why not be our own light... Why not live an eternal life in this lifetime...

Infact even better... Why not ask God for the strength so that we can be the Truth and Light in a few peoples' lives... Why not we make a few lives so beautiful that they become Eternal... Why not we become the Peace in a few more lives...

Tell me something... If I can bring Truth, Light and Peace in someone's life, won't I achieve that and a lot more in my own life???

This Diwali, when I sit for my prayer... I'm not going to ask Light or Truth or Immortality or Peace... I'm only going to pray for enough strength to become so good that I become the Source of Light... Source of Truth... Source of Peace for others... I know I will be well taken care of...

Wishing you an Outstanding... Peaceful... Blissful... Happy Diwali...

The most powerful word...

I have a friend who has this peculiar problem - everytime he travels by train, he finds a cockroach. Atleast one. Everytime while boarding the train, he thinks - I shouldn't find the cockroach, I shouldn't find the cockroach... and guess what... whether he travels in normal class, economy class or first class, a roach shall be found...

My brother has this strange thing with hair. Everytime something special is cooked in the house, he will find a hair in the food. Even when we go to eat outside, in the best of restaurants... a hair will be found... Infact, everytime he says - "Today, I shouldn't find any hair in food..."... I don't think I need to say what happens next...

A few weeks ago, one of my colleagues was typing an official mail, he ended the mail with - "Please let me know if there is any more confusion"...

I have never been good in sports, whenever I was given fielding in cricket and the ball came towards me, my friends would shout - "Don't let it go... Don't let it go...". I always ended up missing the ball.

Now I understand the logic behind the whole thing... everytime someone told me - "Don't drop the ball", my mind has to process all of this - what's a ball, what is dropping a ball, how not to drop the ball, do what is required to stop the ball from dropping... Of course, all this happens in nanoseconds, still the ball has already passed by...
If only, I had received the instruction "Catch the ball"... my mind would have to process lesser instructions, therefore increasing the speed.
But, the most powerful word in the statement was "Drop" so that's what happened.

Check this pattern -
Whenever you leave home thinking "I shouldn't be late... I shouldn't be late..." you will inevitably be late...
Whenever you enter a game thinking "I shouldn't lose... I shouldn't lose..." its a fat chance you might lose...
Whenever you enter the office thinking "Boss shouldn't fire me today..." guess what??
Whenever you enter the house thinking "I shouldn't fight with her today..." trust me, neighbours won't sleep that night.

Understand the pattern, the mind only processes the most powerful word in the statement, it doesn't have time to process every word "shouldn't", "be", "don't want" etc are all trivial words... the powerful word in each of the above statements was - "Cockroach", "Hair", "Drop", "Late", "Lose", "Fire", "Fight", "Confusion"... each of these words was the most powerful word in its respective sentence.

While boarding the train you can instead think, "I should find a clean berth today"...
You can very well pray for a clean plate of food...
When coaching a kid, you can rather tell him to "Catch the ball"...
You can leave house thinking - I want to reach on time...
You can play thinking - I want to win...
You can enter the house / office thinking - I will have a great day...

I told my colleague the same thing - instead of writing a mail saying - "Please let me know if there is any more confusion"..., why not write - "Please let me know if you need further clarity..."
Trust me - only further clarity will come from that mail and no confusion because the most powerful word in the statement is "clarity"

Infact, so far I have been sharing only my experiences, what I'm sharing now was recently validated by a friend of mine - It was a drizzling morning, my friend left the house thinking - "My bike should not skid today", he crossed the area safely and reached a dry area, but somewhere on the dry road, there was a big hole in the road and my friend lost control of the bike... it was a pretty close call, but thankfully my friend was fine". Later that day my friend share this incident and said - "Gulshan, what you had told, happened with me today"
My point is - You could have left home thinking - "I should reach office alright..." it means the same but works much better...
More importantly, do you really have to fall to realise the importance of languaging...

Please... Please... Please... don't read this sharing as another "Positive languaging" "Inspirational" "worth forwarding" message... this is something I have validated over my lifetime on this planet...

I know what you are thinking - "Gulshan, do you mean my success is guaranteed if I change my languaging"

My answer is - "No... I cannot guarantee success with powerful positive language... But, I can guarantee you failure with negative language" If you say you want to be successful and continue sitting on the couch, I can't guarantee success... it has to be backed by efforts... But, why waste your efforts by using negative languaging...

Think about it...

For me or for us?

Right from the school days, atleast a few hundred times, I have experienced that when I do something for myself I may or may not succeed, but whenever I do something for someone else, I almost always succeed. Infact the story of my life has become, whenever I do something for others, it works, when I try to do for myself, it never clicks.

Sounds familiar???

I know what you are thinking, "Gulshan... that's the story of my life too"

What I have realised is that nothing in life happens by chance, there's no coincidence. This whole thing called life... existence... creation... whatever you call it... its a huge system. A mega enormous huge gigantic mammoth system... and it has been working for time immemorial.
And the beauty of every system is that it works the same way every time. With a given input, the output will be the same...

If we don't don't understand computers completely, everytime something goes wrong, we think that the computer has made a mistake.
But, the one who understands the computer will know that the computer will work most consistent manner everytime. He can make a much better use of the computer.

Same is true with life, everytime something goes wrong, its not that life is unfair, its just that somewhere the input has gone in wrong...

सर्वे भवन्तु सुखिनः, सर्वे सन्तु निरामया।
सर्वे भद्राणि पश्यन्तु, मा कश्चिद् दुखभाग भवेत् ।।

I had learnt this prayer when I was in school. It means - may all be happy, may all be safe, may all be free from sorrow.


ॐ नमः शिवाय, शुभम शुभम कुरु कुरु, शिवाय नमः ॐ ।।


Shiva Puran suggests has suggested this prayer as the most powerful prayer in the existence. It means - Oh lord Shiva, let good happen, let good happen.

It is infact very close to the prayer my Teacher had taught me - "May all good happen, to all people, at all times, in all places, in all the possible ways"


"Our Father in heaven, Holy be Thy name,
Give us today, Our daily bread, forgive us, our sins.... us.... us... our... our..."

Every prayer that I have heard in every path of belief has one thing in common. The prayer always asks for all inclusive and not for a single person...

When I was a child, my grandmother used to bless me every morning. Literally translated to english, it was - "May you study, learn, win, earn and give a lot of happiness to your parents."

I can confidently claim that for all of us, our prayers do not work when we ask something for us. But our prayer works everytime we ask for something for someone else.

Its a system.
This is the way the system works.
Its no point trying to figure out why... the system has been working that way for much longer than any of us were even born.

The question is, now that we understand it, why not use the system in the right way...

If I want material prosperity, I would wish for prosperity for my immediate family, for my parents. Because, I don't know one single person who gave prosperity to his parents but remained poor himself. If I have the capability to make my parents prosperous, won't I be prosperous too?

If I truly love someone and want that person in my life, I'll pray that she find a person who can love her the most, and then continue to love her with all my heart. I know that eventually we will be together.

If I have difficulty at work, I'll make sure everyone at my workplace grows. Without a choice, without any option... I'll end up growing anyways... If I have enough knowledge to help other colleagues grow, won't I grow too?
I know what you are thinking, what if the colleagues get ahead... If they are capable of getting ahead, they deserve to... atleast respect your own capabilities and don't think that way....


If I am capable of making my loved ones to be happy, won't I be happy too?

Normally I don't pray to ask... but if I ever pray to ask, I ask for us, not for me...

Who are you praying for... you or us???

What's your Big Deal???

After a really long break, I rejoined the gym a few months ago. As it is with any other rusty machine, even my body took some time to get used to moving again. As I started the treadmill, I was panting within the first 3 minutes, and right next to me there was this "uncle" thumping along at 10 kmph. For me maintaining a light jog @ 7 kmph was a big deal and for the guy next to me, jogging @ 10kmph was a breeze.

As I went to the weights section, my trainer asked me to do bicep curls. That classic exercise where you keep lifting the dumbbells. My trainer asked me to start with 7.5 pound weights. After two sets of 15 lifts, I was quite exhausted and my arms felt like a pair of 10 pound weights hanging on each shoulder.
And there was a guy right next to me, with arms twice as large as mine, pumping 25 pound weights in bicep curls combined with overhead lifts.
For me, 7.5 pounds was a big deal, and for someone else 25 pounds was nothing.

There are people who are amazed at the way I can work with numbers and come up with ideas, the way I think can surprise quite a few. Then again, as soon as I enter the office, I see another 29 smarter ones around me and it makes me really question if my cranial cavity is empty. What is big deal for someone is hardly worth talking for someone else.

We come across so many people who are better than us but hardly ever put in any visible effort. On the other hand, we come across so many people who can't even manage the most basic things.

I was watching this cookery contest on TV where the contestants were pitted against the chef. The contestants had a half hour headstart before the chef. But when the chef started cooking, he wasn't even looking at the recipe. At one point he was fine chopping vegetables even without looking at the board and the contestants actually stopped whatever they were doing to see him work.
Ofcourse, the chef won hands down.

When I was just out of my school, being a Chartered Accountant was a huge deal. Anybody who was a CA would receive admiring glances from us students. Then, we were in first year of studies, and anybody who had qualified CA in first attempt was a role model for us. A few years later, when we had qualified as CAs ourselves, we realised that it was not that big a deal to qualify as a CA. Qualifying was only a launchpad for a career.
Today, I see so many students look at us as an inspiration.

I was struggling to manage a 7 member team as a branch head and here I know a person who at the age of 28 has created an entire industry and his business is a Case study at the IIM.

All of us guys know how difficult it is to get the Roti perfectly round, most of us can't even get past kneading the dough. That itself is a big deal for us. Then again there are guys who make impossibly yummy food that looks good too...

You can't wake up one morning and expect to be the best at what you want to do.

That "Uncle" jogging @ 10kmph is able to do it because he has been doing it for years and the stamina has developed over years.

That "Big Guy" pumping dumbbells was not born with large biceps, he has built them over years with a lot of practice.

I was not always brilliant with numbers and ideas. It takes practice and effort, and ofcourse interest.

On the first day, 7 kmph for 3 minutes and 7.5 pounds was a big deal for me. Today, I'm already doing 8 kmph for 5 minutes and pumping 15 pounds, and it doesn't feel like the big deal.

What I'm trying to share through all these experiences is that --- One person's big deal could be very ordinary for another person.
Whatever you are finding difficult to do, there is someone else already doing it... and if someone is able to do it, then its not a big deal...

Do you still think what you are doing is a big deal??? Do you still think what you have achieved is a big deal???

And most important of all... Do you still think that you are unable to do something because its a big deal???

Remember... it might be a big deal today... but if you decide... if won't be that way for too long...

Work... Like there was no yesterday...

M S Dhoni has won numerous matches with his 'out of the box' thinking. Whether its a genius stroke or sheer dumb luck, nobody knows. But I have seen one thing for sure... Everytime he wins a match for his team, he's hailed as the next generation captain. And everytime his decision backfires, the entire media starts talking about his retirement from captaincy. Then, he comes back with a win and he's a legend again.

Long before I stopped wearing shorts, Sachin has been playing, and in so many years, I've heard the media talking about his retirement almost every year. Yet, he plays a winning inning and is hailed as a legend again. Let him go duckout the next time and I promise to you all will be forgotten in a moment.

I have gone through this myself. I was one of the best of the lot in my batch. As a result, I used to keep getting more opportunities. Somewhere over the years I found myself struggling to keep up. I wasn't sure whether it was overwork or whether it was complacence.
Now I understand what it was. Everytime I was successful, I became relaxed.
"I've done this"
"I've acheived this"
etc...
and then, life will throw in a test and a rude wake up call.

Over years, I have realised that no matter what I have achieved in my past, it does not matter. I have to continue achieving in the present.

Just because I was the best student in my school doesn't mean I have to work less in my office. I still have to go to office every morning and give in my best.

Whatever I did till yesterday, is exactly there... in the yesterday. It carries no value today. I still have to carry my bums to the office and work today...

Of course, what I did till yesterday has brought me where I am today, but that's where its role ends.
Of course, what I did till yesterday has added value in me in different ways.
What I did till yesterday has already added value to my today.
If I continue to sit on past laurels, past successes... I would be sitting on outdated successses while everyone continues to achieve more.

So the next realisation turns out to be... "Work like there was no yesterday..."

Infact, this very same realisation holds true even in relationships. One has to keep on working on his relationships... No matter how much loving I have been in the past. Just one quarrel with my loved one can wipe the slate clean and I have to begin again....

Infact, what an amazing life we could have if we could put these two realisations together...

"Love like there's no tomorrow... Work like there was no yesterday"

Love... like there's no tomorrow...

Do you remember when was the last time you hugged your loved one?
Do you remember how it felt?
When was the last time you looked at someone with pure love in your eyes... Do you remember how it felt?

People very close to me know how crazy I'm about hugs. I believe that a hug is the purest form of expression one could express.
As a kid, I would always be found hugging my grandma. I would hug her at every possible opportunity. Infact, she used to tease me - "Itna chipakta hai..."
Then, I grew up and somehow the number of hugs per day went down.
Then, one day, she was gone.
Today, I remember so many hugs and the loving experiences my grandma gave me, but I don't remember how my last hug with her felt. I don't even remember when I had hugged her before she left.
Somehow, in my immaturity I thought that she will always be around to hug me and did not value every moment which I had with her.
But, somewhere in the whole process, life gave me one message - "Love like there's no tomorrow"

Love like there's no tomorrow, cherish each moment you have with your dear ones and let it go in the deepest corner of your heart and your very being.
My communication is not yet good enough to explain it... But I think the message itself says it all... "Love like there's no tomorrow"

Whether it is your little one, whether it is that pet, whether it is your parents, grand parents, your beloved... whoever it is... Love like there's no tomorrow...
The TV serial can wait... That T20 can wait... That game of Sudoku can wait... Food can wait... Your newspaper can wait... work can wait... The WORLD can wait... Don't make love wait...

Please take this sharing in its right sense. I know that we are all blessed with beautiful long lives, I'm not saying that anyone is leaving the world tomorrow morning. What I'm only asking you to do is to cherish the beautiful loving moments our life gives us. Lets not let them pass away as shallow experiences to be forgotten with time, but lets take these beautiful moments and relish till the next ones come and then beyond.


Love Like there's no Tomorrow...

Extra Home Work...

I remember when I was a kid, my mother used to help me with my studies.
Every day I would come back from school, have lunch and sleep for an hour. After that I would sit on my homework. Generally my homework lasted from an hour to hour and a half. It was routine stuff like math problems,tables, history answers, science diagrams etc.
Everyday, after I had finished my homework, my mom would ask me to do extra home work. So many times I used to ask her why do I have to do the Extra Homework.
Everytime, she would nicely make me sit in her lap and tell - "What you did till now is what the teacher told you to do. Everyone will do that and come. Everyone will do the same studies. But, you want to be first rank, right? How will you get first rank if you also do what everyone is doing? You have to do something extra right?? That's why you should do Extra Homework. We'll do what others are not doing, then you will know what others don't know and you can get extra marks and first rank."

Now, which 8 year old wouldn't want to get the first rank?

So I happily used to sit and do the Extra Homework. The extra homework would generally include extra practice as Dictation, some oral maths, text book math problems twisted in some way, mom pulling out questions from middle of the chapters instead of those given at the end, sometimes a quiz and other tricks like that.

I went with my family for a dinner today, to our favourite restaurant, we ordered the food of our choice. As we were having the starters, the steward came and served a dish which we had not ordered. The manager was right there, and seeing the confused look on my face, he smiled and said - "Sir, we want you to experience this dish as well. It's on the house" (that means, its free)
It was a pretty nice dish and we liked it a lot, but what I liked more is the gesture from that person. It obviously tasted good, but more importantly, we all felt good - we felt special.

The manager could have served us exactly what we ordered and we would have come back completely satisfied, but he did that little bit extra and we came back more than satisfied. (why he did? I still don't know, but for some reason he chose to do it)

Today I realise what my Mom was actually giving to me. She was not just giving me the Extra Homework, she was giving me an attitude. She was giving me a message - "If you do exactly what is expected from you, then it is not good enough. Everyone does that. You have to do something extra"

In homework, spend those 10 minutes extra.
If the office is 9-6, then sitting till 6.15 won't hurt that much.
If you have waited at the signal for so long, waiting a few more seconds and allowing that old lady to cross won't hurt.
If you have made a mistake, apologising the 101st time won't kill.
If you already hugged your loved one in the morning, another quick hug while leaving for office won't hurt.

I know what you are thinking... If I have already downed 4 for today, 1 more won't hurt... Take the knowledge in its right meaning...

I repeat... If I do exactly what is expected from me, it's not good enough... I have to do something extra...

Are you still wondering why you didn't get that promotion???

Start something good...

It was 12.40 midnight on a Friday and I was riding home from the train station after dropping my friend. I saw a signal go red and stopped my bike on the side. It was a 2 minute signal. As I was waiting at the red light, a Honda Civic full of drunk dudes passed by at full speed... hooting at me... shouting stuff like "Uncle Jee"... "Wakey wakey"... (and a few other things which I can't share on this blog)

Another guy with his family passed by me in his Nissan... He too blasted through the channel, of course he was looking at me as if something was wrong with me.

Another dude, with blasting music in his car passed me, looked at me and stopped. Yep, unexpectedly, the dude stopped at the white line. Seeing 2 vehicles waiting, another Auto rickshaw stopped.
Within another 30 seconds a few more vehicles stopped at the red light and by the time the signal went green, there was a respectable line of vehicles waiting at the line.
All this happened within those 2 minutes waiting time of the signal.

I felt pretty good that night. I made a choice to follow the rules. A few mocked my choice and just one got inspired. 1 became 2, 2 became 3 and 3 became many.

All of us keep complaining that nobody follows the rules. Have we started?

All of us keep complaining about corruption... You have every right to complain... just one tiny little question... Have you never done a single rupee adjustment in you tax returns? Have you never gotten away by paying 50 bucks when you were supposed to pay 500 in traffic violation?

I don't have a problem when you complain about the cleanliness in the city... By the way... Can I ask where you threw your last chocolate wrapper / cigarette butt?

You have all the right in the world to complain about the pollution... Do you turn off the engine when its a 2 minute signal??

You cannot catch me jumping a signal or getting away by bribing or trashing around...
I have started something good by changing myself... I know that by looking at me, a few more will... The important thing is to make a choice... A choice to change...

Like we have so many times heard... "You can either be a part of the problem or you can be a part of the solution..."

You cannot be in front of a problem and stay neutral. You are either a part of the problem adding on to it, or you are a part of the solution and eliminating the problem. There is no room for fence sitters?
Pick a side... Be a part of a problem or be a part of a solution... but be something...
Make a choice...
Start something good...

Pro-Active...

Long long ago... in a place far far away... was a kingdom ruled by King Chakramaditya.
The King had 2 ministers Dondu and Pandu. Dondu and Pandu had been in King's service for many years and also happened to be best childhood friends. But, it somehow happened that Dondu always got promoted before Pandu and obviously Pandu was never happy with that bit. He thought the King was partial towards Dondu.
This time, Pandu gathered enough courage to go and speak to King Chakramaditya and express his concerns.

Pandu: Your Majesty, With all due respect, I would like to know where I have fallen short in my service. Everytime, Dondu gets promoted before me eventhough we have done the same work for the same number of  years.
King Chakramaditya: You are right in asking that question and I'll answer it to your satisfaction. But first, I have a few traders from the neighbouring kingdom, one of them wants to meet me. Can you do the first review with him and see what he has got to trade.
Pandu: (immediately left to meet the trader, came back 2 minutes later) Your Majesty, this man is a silk trader and wants to sell us silks.
King Chakramaditya: Good. What price does he ask?
Pandu: (immediately left and came back in 2 minutes) Your Majesty, he asks for a 100 gold coins for a silk carpet and the prices are fixed.
King Chakramaditya: We are a large kingdom, will he give a better price if we order in large volumes? Will he be able to deliver?
Pandu: (rushed out one more time to return in a couple of minutes) Your Majesty, his prices are not negotiable.
King Chakramaditya: Just forget it. We do not want to trade with him.

Exactly at that moment, Dondu walked into the hall. The King told Dondu - "We have a few traders from other states. Can you meet one of them and do the first review?"

Dondu, bowed to the King and stepped out. He was gone for over 10 minutes. When he came back, he gave the following answer to the King.
Dondu: "Your Majesty, the person I met is a trader of precious jewels. He wants 25 Gold coins for each single jewel he sells to us. I saw a few of his samples and they are really valuable. I checked with the trader and he was very particular about fixed price. However, given the fact that we are a large kingdom and will order large quantities, he is willing to negotiate. If your majesty could approve, I can go ahead and initiate a transaction with him"

King Chakramaditya, smiled at Dondu and asked him to leave. He then turned to Pandu and asked, "Do you still want me to answer your question?"

Most of us come across this feeling every once in a while. Why is he getting promoted before me. I do everything that my boss asks me to do... then why???
That is probably the problem right there... You might be doing everything the boss tells. While someone else might be doing something even before the boss tells.

There are people who answer the questions and then there are those who answer questions before they are asked.
I had a similar experience long ago, (Now don't start guessing whether I was Dondu or Pandu). But I decided that I will work on myself and grow into the Dondu above.

The secret is quite simple - The boss always likes the team to whom he doesn't have to give instructions. A team which takes away his work so he can focus on bigger things. I know that I will eventually grow into being a Dondu and who knows someday I might become the King Chakramaditya.

The Test is coming!!!

I have always been very particular about punctuality, at times my passion for punctuality even borders fanaticism. Anybody who knows me well knows that if I agree to a time, I'll do everything under the sun to make it. But many people don't know one thing which is the amount of testing I face everytime I discuss this topic.
A couple of years ago, I was sharing my passion for punctuality with my students and I made it a very strong point. Guess what... the very next class started 7 minutes late. That's absolutely criminal going by my record. Of course, I promised that it would never happen again and that promise was kept.

A few months later, I was involved in another activity. I was working with a friend and we used to meet at odd hours to work together. At one instance my friend said - "Gulshan, you don't have to be so punctual, you make us feel guilty". Wanna guess?? - Next session, I reached late by a few minutes and was out of the activity.  This year, I'm again a part of that activity and have made it so far.

Infact, I was probably the most unpleasant groom in the history of mankind because in my own marriage, I went around chasing everyone to get ready on time and I was not very pleasant in doing so.

Everytime I speak of my strength, I speak of my conviction... Life decides to throw in a test for me. If I make it through, it means my conviction is true. If I don't, it just means that I need to work more on it.

Recently, I had shared about alcohol and how much I'm against it. Within a few months, I find myself sitting in the company of grown ups in a social gathering with all of them having a glass in their hands... All these are people I highly respect.
What do I do? What can I do?
Do I go ahead an lecture them on the disadvantages of Alcohol? --- Obviously not... I'll be way beyond my line there.
Do I stand there and watch them destroy their bodies one sip at a time? --- Definitely not... that's a huge damage to my subconscious.
What do I do?
I just walk out of the room with faith in my heart that maybe one day Life will find a way to show them the light.
That's what I did.
Maybe you'll think I took the easy way out. Maybe you would have done something different... But that's what seemed right to me.

Right now, I'm throwing in another challenge to Life...
Till now, I had a conviction that I will not consume or pay for anyone else who consumes alcohol... Let's take this one step further...
"Right now, From now on... I have a conviction that I will not sit on the same table and in the same room where my friends, colleagues, or anyone whom I know and care for is using alcohol."
"You will not find me in the company of alcohol"
"So much as the smell of alcohol will not enter my system"

I know that the moment I wrote this, Life has already started conspiring a test for me and I'm ready for it.
Because my faith in my conviction is stronger than my faith in my God.
Whether it is punctuality... whether it is anti-alcoholism... whether it is my belief in word...
I have chosen my convictions and I'm ready for life to test me.

Everytime one has a Conviction... It will be tested... over and over...
Check your own history... everytime you believed in something, you were tested by life. And your success or failure in that test has defined your growth ever since...
If a conviction is not tested... it is not a conviction.

Are you strong enough to find yourself a conviction and stand by it no matter what happens???

Don't waste it...

Just got off watching the movie Iron Man. Its amazing how we can miss the most profound learnings even after life slaps them in our face more than half a dozen times. Well, atleast thats the number of times I've seen this movie.

In this movie, the hero (originally a weapons designer) is almost killed in an explosion and a scientist saves his life by building a contraption around his heart. The hero is held captive but helped by this scientist at every step. With the help of this scientist, the hero escapes in his invented robot suit but the scientist is killed.
Just before the scientist dies, here's what they spoke...
Hero: Thank you for saving my life.
Scientist: Don't waste it... Don't waste your life...

"DON'T WASTE IT... DON'T WASTE YOUR LIFE..."

I asked myself this question... If I were to be held accountable for every day of my life... Will I be able to answer for it???

There are thousands of people who did not get up today morning. I got up. He chose to give me a day of life which so many did not get. There must have been a reason for it... right?

There are so many who may not get up tomorrow morning. But I know I will, I know He has a plan for me.

He still feels that I'm worth investing a day of Life.

Right now as I asked myself - Today.... Have I been worth the Life that was given to me today?? Maybe not. I did not touch a life today.
So here I am, sharing my realisation at well past midnight... hoping that these 10 minutes invested from my Life will touch another Life and make a difference...

In the material world, we make huge achievements every day. You could have made a few millions today, but how much of it was invested in Life. What you and I achieved was achieved because 1 day worth of Life was invested in us. Did we invest back in Life???

All our achievements are needed for us to grow and we have to continue that... but where is our investment in Life? Our Life? The Lives of our loved ones? The Life of a stranger you bump into on the road?

Almost everyday I touch a life... by inspiring... by teaching... by loving... by guiding... by helping someone grow... someone... anyone... even a stranger. By doing so, I'm giving Life a reason to give me another day so that I can touch a few more lives.

The more I invest in Life... The more Life will invest in me...

I'll make every single day invested in me... worth investing...

Every day that I end... I'll ask myself... Was I worthy of the today given to me?

With Gratitude in my heart that I was given a day of Life...
With the knowledge that I have lived a day I was worthy of...
Signing off for the night...

Wishing you most and more...

Que sera sera...

Whatever will happen, will happen...

My boss and I were debating about buying a bike as I was spending a lot of time on the road. I wanted an entry level 100 cc, light weight bike for myself. Easy to drive. My boss said - "Gulshan, for your height and body structure, a small light bike is wrong. It will be too short, light and could give you fatigue and backache." He suggested a 150 cc bike which was launched around that time.
I had never driven any geared bike leave alone driving a bike which itself weighs more than 150 kg. I was hard set that I will not agree for that bike.
One morning, my boss called me and said that I had to go and pick up the delivery of my new 150 cc, 150 kg, geared bike. (fyi... I had never even kick started a motorbike)
I told my boss... I don't even know how to ride it.
My boss said - "Don't worry, the guy there will teach you how to use the gear and clutch and you'll be fine."
Gulshan - "But..."
Boss - "No buts, just go... I trust you man... Whatever happens happens... we'll see... right now... just go"

With butterflies battling in my stomach, I went to collect the bike. After a 5 minute crash course on clutch and gears, I was on the way home. It took me 2 hours to cover a distance of 10 km but I made it home.
Today, 5 years later... 41000 km later... 3 accidents later... I am absolutely crazy about my bike and just love to ride it.

It's not about the bike, but this is more about the attitude which was inculcated in me.

Every audit, every new client, every marketing call, every new activity... the only thought I had was... Let's do it... whatever happens, will happen... we'll face it.

Even after so many years... that attitude is still a part of me...

Recently, we bought a new car. I had not driven a car for ages and I was not confident to take it out alone for the first time. I had called an on call driver to come and help me refresh my driving skills.
Somehow, the driver did not turn up in the morning.
I took the car out, Que Sera Sera and put the key into ignition.
2 days later I was driving to office and back on the most notorious roads of Bangalore.

When I changed my last job, I had decided to leave that specialisation because I was not enthusiastic about it anymore. The day I decided to quit, I did not have a job in hand. I knew I could have continued in the job till I find the next job, but I didn't do that. I knew that won't be fair.
Que Sera Sera and I was a free man to hunt my destiny... my friends still find it hard to believe that I left a well paying job without having fixed my next job. But I knew that I was confident about my skillsets...

Que Sera Sera... Whatever will happen, will happen...
I don't know the roots of this phrase, which language it comes from, where it comes from. But I know one thing. It has given me the greatest freedom in my life. I don't have to worry myself sick about what will happen. I have the courage to go ahead and execute my choices.

But, Beware... Be Careful...

Don't take this phrase as an excuse for lack of preparation.
I can't go for an exam without any preparation and say Que Sera Sera...
I can't go in a meeting without preparation and say Que Sera Sera...
I can't drive a vehicle without fuel and say Que Sera Sera...

Only when I have done all the possible preparation from my side and put in my efforts, I have the right to say Que Sera Sera.

One can't take the bike without understanding the basics of how it works and then try going at 80 kmph and say whatever will happen, will happen. Only Hospital will happen.

One can't jump in the pool without knowing how to swim and say Que Sera Sera...

Are you living your life thinking what will happen if I do this... if I do that... what if? what if? what if?

Que Sera Sera...

I wish I could show you...

It was my first major audit assignment. The client was in a pretty messy situation. The first day, my mentor came with me and helped me kick start the entire audit project. Once we had everything going, he left me on my own and kept mentoring me remotely.
Over the course of next one month, we worked very closely and the end result was that we had a very comprehensive audit checklist and an equally great audit reporting format. This audit report was better than the other reports done earlier and the last I know, it was still used till a few months ago, that's almost 9 years later. Of course, it has evolved a lot ever since.
But, that thrill of creating something new which will carry my mark for ever was amazing.
The feeling that something great was created through me gave me such a kick that I have got addicted to creating.
That one experience got me into a "Systems thinking". Infact, if I don't create something new every once in a while, I don't feel comfortable. Ever since that audit, wherever I have worked, my entire focus has been to work towards a "Person Proof System".
Any activity in which I'm involved, I first understand, do it once for myself, get the required results, and then try to get it into a systematic documented process so that tomorrow, anyone else should be able to execute the same thing without depending on me or asking my help.
"Person Proof System" means a process, system, work style which is independent of the person working in it. Even if a person is removed, the next person should be able to become a part of the system and execute what is needed.
Now... no matter how much I try to explain this experience, you won't understand what I'm talking about unless you have experienced it yourself.
No matter how much I try, I cannot show you what I have seen, unless you have seen it for yourself.

When you tell me "Gulshan, if you don't eat chicken, you don't know what you are missing." I tell inside my heart... "My dear, you don't know what you are missing. You don't have any idea what if feels when you look at the chicken and turn away. You don't know what it feels like to be a vegetarian. You don't know what it feels like to know that your taste buds didn't cost a life"

When you tell me "Gulshan, if you don't smoke / drink, you don't know what you are missing." I feel in the depths of my heart "Darling, you don't know what you are missing. I wish I could show you how it feels to have clear lungs while jogging. To have a clear head on a saturday morning."

We went to a temple, and the kind of silence I experienced there was so amazing, it was so silent that I felt like some sound will burst out of my ears. It was a peace I had never experienced. Sad part is that you won't know it no matter how much I explain. It is something that has to be experienced.

That joy of creation, the closeness to Him, that head in the lap, those eyes, that toothless smile, those delicate finders, that experience of success, that silence, that peace... I can't help but remember the quote of my teacher - "Infinite beauty cannot be expressed in finite words...The most beautiful is to be experienced..."

Same steps... different results...

I was watching a movie last week... In this movie, a totally average girl suddenly comes to know that she's a princess of a country. For the first time in her life, she sat in a limousine. While sitting in the car, she was playing with the power window. For almost 5 minutes, she was pressing the up and down buttons and the window kept going up and down. Finally the driver said - "Miss, no matter how many times you press that button it will still go up and down the same way."
That statement hit me so hard that for the next 10 minutes, I was watching the movie but still not watching it.

I work in a software company and anybody who has worked with softwares will agree that there are times when the software will just not behave properly.
You try steps 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 and you don't get the results.
You try again steps 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 and you don't get the results.
Once again, you try steps 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 and you still don't get the results.
You get frustated and go for the coffee...
After a 45 minute long coffee break, you come back and once again try - steps - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5. Do you think you will get the results?
By following the same steps, even if you try another 300 times, you still won't get the results...
Chances are that you are either missing a step,
or you have added an extra step
or you have got the order mixed up...
or maybe the software has got a bug...
In any case, following the same steps over and over will not take you anywhere...

I tell her - Lets go out on a date.
She says - Not today. I'm not in the mood.
I say again - Lets go out on a date.
She says - Not today. I'm not in the mood.
I say once again - Lets go out on a date
She says - Not today. I'm not in the mood.

Isn't it Boring??? Do you think I'll get my date?

Won't it be much more interesting if I were to try a different dialogue everytime and she would give a different answer everytime. And maybe, eventually I will get my date...


At home, the kid doesn't listen to you, do you keep repeating the same thing in the same way?? Obviously not... you try convincing in a different way... don't you?

Why not implement it in every aspect of life???

Problem happens when we keep applying the same steps and still expect a different outcome... and then actually become miserable if we don't get the results...

Problem happens when we keep using the same recipe and keep expecting a new dish everytime... Will that ever happen?

Problem happens when we keep travelling the same road and still keep expecting to reach a new destination... Will that ever happen?

If you still haven't got the point, maybe I'll try it differently in a different post some day...

Teacher's Day...

Every day when we get up in the morning, we have an emotion. When you have the results coming out, you get up with that knot in your stomach. When you have that new car delivery to take, you get up all excited. When you have that project starting, you get up all energized. When you have that date with him / her, you get up... Oh wait... You wouldn't have slept all night anyways....
The point is that we all carry an emotion when we get up in the morning. This depends on what we are looking forward to on that day... And the day in turn becomes the result of that starting emotion.
Even I go through the same... A new emotion every day. With just one exception.
For years together, there is one day every year when I get up with only one emotion in my heart. That emotion is that of Gratitude.
A deep sense of gratitude comes over every year on 5th of September. This is the day the world celebrates as a Teacher's Day. Today was no different. I woke up, paid my gratitude to all the teachers who have contributed to my life. Spoke to some and thanked some in spirit.

A friend of mine overheard me speaking to my teacher... He said "I also wanted to wish, but I've lost the number."  I didn't say anything to that friend, but I definitely know that I spent over 2 hours to recall a number I had myself forgotten. And I know I would have gone to any extent and called anyone to find that Teacher's number.
A lot has been spoken about teachers. I think that the only true tribute to my teachers would be if I can live to my full potential... Achieve the best... Be the best... And still stay humble and be able to dedicate all my success to my teachers.

With lot of gratitude I dedicate this sharing to all the teachers who have walked into my life. This sharing is my tribute to all the teachers in my life with a promise that I will be that student you will be proud of. I will make your time spent on me worth it. I will make my teachers proud.

Do you have the courage to make that promise?

Did you wish your teachers a Happy Teacher's Day today?

That food on your plate...

Sometime back, we went to an expensive restaurant. For a change, the portions served were larger than we expected and after we had eaten our fills, there was still food ordered but not served. It was enough for one person.

We thought why to waste the food, so we packed it as a take away, maybe we would have eaten it at night.

As we walked out of the restaurant, at a short distance, there was a poor lady with a new born baby in her hands and asking for money. Without missing a beat, my friend walked over and gave the packed food to the lady.

This was the same food which we could have easily left at the restaurant and would have gone in the trash. But, somehow a poor lady was destined to have it, so we packed it and somehow my friend got that thought to give it to her.

That day, I realised, that for every single morsel of food that I take up on my plate and don't eat, there is someone who has not eaten it. For every morsel of food I throw, I have taken away someone else's share of food. And I don't have any right to take away another's food.

When I was a kid, we used to have a game. Whoever finishes all the food in the plate gets 10 rupees reward. The condition was that the plates have to be cleaned up. Even if you had even a single grain of rice in your plate, you would be disqualified. I have collected my 10 rupees every single time.

The other day, I went to meet my friend at his office and I reached his office quite early and the cleaning was still going on. I saw atleast 3 XXL sized garbage bags being carried out by the cleaners and all were filled with the food which was thrown away the previous day. If you assume each garbage bag weighs just 10 kgs and one normal person eats one kg of food; Just imagine how many empty stomachs stayed empty because someone decided to pile up his plate, eat just a quarter of it and throw away the rest. You know why? because the food was pathetic.

Idiots... Fools... Stupid people... if the food is pathetic, why do you have to pile it up on your plate and then throw it? Why can't you take a small portion first, taste it and then take it more??? Or is your bottom so heavy that you can't lift it off the chair?

I'm not talking about your office or my office only, I'm talking about your office, about your friend's office, your dad's office, your neighbour's office and your wife's office and every single office in your neighbourhood... Try going to any of these buildings early in the morning if there are 200 people in your office, there is wasted food enough atleast 30 people. If there are 300 people, there is average throwing away of food for atleast 45 people and so on.

I'm not asking you to go on a social service drive and spread awareness to the whole world.

I'm only humbly... requesting you... begging you to please please please take only what you will eat on your plate...

If you are offered something to eat, take only what you will eat or just refuse to take it. What sense does it make to take the food on plate and instantly throw it away... without even tasting it once.

I have experienced hunger... I have experienced what it is to go without eating for a full day... I really hope you never go through it, but atleast you could help others to come out of it...

My blood literally boils when I see people throw away what someone else could have eaten...

Gulshan... its easy to say... but lets be practical.

My dear, I'm the most practical guy you could ever find. I have never shared a single thing which I'm not implementing myself. You can never find a single grain of rice on my plate when I finish eating. Infact, all my friends know that I'm the finisher... whenever there's food left, I'll finish it off to make sure it doesn't go wasted.

If it ever happens that I have to throw away food for whatever reason, I would go out, buy a meal and give it to another needy. I will never be responsible for stealing another person's share of food.

I never use negative language in my sharings, if I have used it today, it only shows how much and how strongly I feel about it...

Think about it... please!!!!

Investing... 1/3rd Style...

Somehow this topic has come up a few times in the last week, so obviously it makes sense to share it.
I was casually speaking to a few friends and we started discussing about what to invest where.
Should I invest or Should I not?
Equities or Debts?
Derivatives? Futures or options?
Stock markets or Mutual funds?
ULIPs or SIPs?
Bank Deposits or Government Bonds?
Gold or Gold ETF?
or just Cash in the Mattress?

I have heard of this method a few times from my teacher and other seniors and its called the "Rule of 1/3rd" and its a deceptively simple method.
I'm not exactly an expert on personal finance and I don't hold any fancy degrees... but following this simple thumbrule has been the foundation of every financial decision I have taken so far... and I'm sure I've not done that bad either...
Following this method has done a lot of good to me in the past and I suggest it to people at every possible opportunity. So here we go:

1. Out of your total income, set aside 1/3rd for investment. One third of your monthly income should be invested every month without fail.
2. This 1/3rd which you invest should again be divided into 3 parts.
3. 1st 1/3rd should be invested into zero risk investments - Government Bonds, Bank deposits, Postal Savings, Provident Funds etc.
4. 2nd 1/3rd should be invested in low risk investments - Mutual funds, Corporate Bonds, ULIPs, SIPs, etc.
5. The remaining 1/3rd should be invested in high risk investments which yield higher returns.

The reason I like this approach is because it is balancing out every aspect of one's investments.
By investing 1/3rd in zero risk investments, you have safeguarded your interests. Even if everything goes wrong, this 1/3rd will ensure that you don't go broke.
The second 1/3rd which goes in low risk investments will put you in second gear where you can give some additional speed to your portfolio. It allows you to go faster and higher.
The final 1/3rd which you are investing in high risks is what puts you in top gear, allows you to go fastest. But we all know when we go too fast... we risk losing control... As Uncle Ben once said - "With great returns comes great risk" (or something similar)
Just because you are investing 1/3rd in high risk portfolio doesn't mean you invest mindlessly. Even investments in high risk securities should be done after all the possible research and evaluation.

Most of the problems happen when people fail to follow this thumbrule. Some don't make any investments at all. Another bunch goes and invests everything in high risk investments and probably end up losing a lot.

Lets take what we can from this sharing and move towards being better and more informed investors.

Your pot of oil...

Long long ago in a kingdom far far away, there lived a guy named Dondu. Dondu was a not so handsome guy, twice the weight of a normal person, not too tall, didn't have a very nice face, girls definitely wouldn't line up to meet him. All his life he had been teased for his looks and body.
One day Dondu decided that he had had enough. He headed for the King's palace and asked for an appointment. When his turn came, Dondu presented his complain to the King, he gave a whole list of all the people who had ever teased him or given him any trouble.
After Dondu had completed his representation, the King turned to the minister, winked at him and asked him for a solution. The minister had a magical solution which would turn Dondu into the most handsome guy in the kingdom, but for this Dondu would have to perform a ritual and there was a catch too.
Here's the ritual - There was a saint living at the border of the kingdom. Dondu was to go to the saint's cottage and collect a pot of magical oil from him and bring it back to the King's palace. This magical oil would make Dondu handsome. The only condition was that Dondu was not allowed to spill even a single drop of the oil.
There was a catch though, if Dondu spills even a single drop of oil, it would mean disrespect to the magical oil and therefore disrespect to the King's answer. Punishment - Dondu loses his head.
Ok, just go meet the saint, get the pot of oil, bring it back without spilling a drop. How difficult could it be?

Excited, Dondu set out for the saint's cottage with a lot of excitement. All his problems were going to be over today. Dondu met the saint and that's when he knew what he was in for. The pot was filled to the brim with oil. Infact, the oil was already almost spilling. There's no way Dondu could carry the pot past the cottage door. But he had already taken up task and backing out would have meant one head less for Dondu.

Taking a big gulp and a deep breath, Dondu, gingerly carried the pot and held it close to his body with both his hands to avoid any sudden jerks.

By now, the whole kingdom know about Dondu's little adventure and people were lined on the roads to see Dondu carry the pot of oil.

Throughout his walk from the saint's cottage to the King's palace, the only thing on Dondu's mind was that he can't spill a drop of that oil.
There were people cheering him on, there were some taunting him, some were speaking among themselves saying he would do it, some saying he won't. Amidst all this, Dondu was not even hearing anything, all he had on mind was his next step, the remaining road ahead and the King's palace. All his problems were going to end.

And then it happened, Dondu reached the King's palace, there was a centre stand for the pot, he kept the pot there and breathed, he was probably holding his breath from the time he had left the saint's cottage.

Before starting the magical ritual, there was one more test for Dondu. The King asked Dondu a few questions:
King - How far was the saint's cottage?
Dondu - I didn't really check but I think it was about 5 kilometres from the palace.
King - Wrong. It was actually 10 kilometers.

King - How long did it take you to bring that pot here?
Dondu - I'm not sure, maybe 3 hours or so?
King - (sarcastically) - You left in the morning and its time to light up the lamps, you have taken well above 8 hours in case you didn't notice.

King - So many people came to cheer you, how many people did you speak to on the way here?
Dondu - (By now he knew that he's not getting what he came for) - Sorry your majesty, I didn't speak to anybody, I was too occupied with the pot of oil

The King just looked at his minister and smiled. Dondu was now totally confused.

Seeing Dondu's blank face, the minister explained: "You carried the pot of oil today. You lost the sense of time, sense of distance and the sense of your surroundings. Why? Because your life depended on that pot of oil. Today, for those few hours, the most important thing for you, more important than anybody's comments, more important than what the world thought of you, more important than anything else was your pot of oil.
Whatever you complained about didn't exist for you today... How?"

By now, Dondu understood the purpose of the task, there was no magic oil, there was no magic ritual, Dondu was not going to get any handsome on the outside. But something inside Dondu was changing and he could feel it.

The minister continued -
"The magic was not in the oil, the magic is in you.

You have completed the task you were given. You are leaving this pot here, but I want you carry another pot. A pot of your choice. A pot which will help you to turn off every other distraction in the world."

My question to you is - Have you found your pot of oil?

Hole in the Sock

There's this hindi movie called "HUM" in which one actor would say "If you want to know the truth about someone, look at his shoes."
I've never really understood how it works but ever since I saw that movie, I did become a bit more observant and somehow I always had a better experience with people who take care of their footwear.
Today, I realise that its not just about the shoes, but they have always been a pretty good starting point for me.
Neat polished shoes, ironed clothes, presentable looks are all important and speak a lot about a person, but recently I realised something more important.
I was on the way home from office when I suddenly had to go to a friend's place. When I reached his home, I was about to remove my shoes when I remembered that I had a hole in one sock. Praying that nobody notices, I quickly removed the shoes and the socks, went inside and spent time with my friend. While leaving his home, my friend and his mom came to the door to see me off. Only I know how I was able to wear the socks and shoes without them seeing the hole.
That day, I realised something. We are so much worried about the outside - our shirts, pants, dresses, shoes, hair, face, looks... everything on the outside.
How much do we care about the insides?
Right now, I can bet that either your sock, your inshirt or the other important inner thing has atleast one hole in it. There's a huge chance that atleast one piece of clothing you are wearing right now has a damage on it, a small hole, an open stitch, a tiny stain, a loose thread... something...
I'm not over exaggerating anything, but these small details talk a lot about our attitude.

The conditioning we have done for ourselves is that we'll make sure the outsides look great but its ok if something is wrong inside... something which the world can't see...

The day I realised this, I decided that I will change this attitude. I understand that even in the smallest details, I should not compromise for myself. That day, I disposed off about 15 pieces of clothing which had a damage. Nobody in the world would have ever noticed any of those clothes, but I think I have reached a stage in life when I can throw away a few old clothes before they are reduced to tatters.
3 pairs of socks have gone to the bin and another couple got the toe stitched.

What's important is that I have made an attitudinal change. I'm giving myself a message that besides being the best on the outside, I will also make sure that the insides are well taken care off. Whether it is my clothing, my attitude, my thoughts, my work, or my prayer... the insides will always be aligned with the outsides...

By making this small change, I will be able to extend this understanding to everything I do.
A rotten egg, no matter how well decorated, will still remain a rotten egg.
A tasteless dish will remain tasteless, no matter how well it is presented.
Everyone is able to make something beautiful when the whole world is watching... Can you create beauty even when nobody is watching?

Your true status...

You are sitting in the new Mahindra XUV 500 and you think that tells the world about your status. While sitting in that expensive car, what do you do with the chocolate wrapper... will you chuck it out the window or keep it with you till you reach your destination? That talks a lot about your status...

You are driving a BMW 6 series at 2 am in the night. You are standing on a signal and there's no traffic cops... Whether you stop or jump the signal will be the true indicative of your status...

Unknowingly you jumped a signal and got pulled over... Whether you accept your fault and pay the fine or try to buy your way out of the situation, will speak a lot about your true status...

That Cashier in the supermarket just gave you an extra 20 bucks in change... by mistake of course... Whether you give the excess change back to him or not... will speak about your true status...

You have an appointment at 9.00 am, whether you reach at 9.00 or at 9.02 will speak a lot about your status... Even louder is that statement when you reach at 8.55 am.

Eventhough you might have the biggest bungalow on the street, how you dispose your garbage bags will talk about your true status...

Material objects are an indicator of status only to those who see with a materialistic view. Materialistic status symbols are important but I think I should also be spending time on raising myself higher as a person. Raising my status for myself.

This is strange...

Dondu got his first car. An entry level hatch back (a small budget car). Excitedly, he took the delivery and left the showroom in his shiny new car with a ribbon across its bonnet and a big “L” pasted on its windshield. (“L” in India indicates that the person driving has learnt driving just recently, so that people can maintain a safe distance)

As he was waiting on the signal, a Mercedes S class stopped right beside him. Dondu admired the Merc standing next to him. The Mercedes was 1.5 times longer than Dondu’s car and costs atleast 12 times the cost of Dondu’s car. Dondu couldn’t help staring at its beauty.

The owner of the Merc saw Dondu in his new car and said “Nice car… Good choice… Congrats…”. The signal went green and the Merc shot off from the signal. Feeling good about himself, Dondu reached home.

When he parked the vehicle, his neighbor uncle saw the car and hobbled up to Dondu. (This neighbor uncle hardly ever spoke to Dondu).

He congratulated Dondu with a beaming smile kept his hand on Dondu’s head and said “God bless you my boy, take your parents out on a drive and make them happy. Let this be the first of the many cars you will buy”

Dondu was pleasantly shocked to see the Uncle was capable of speaking more than one sentence. He had hardly ever even smiled to Dondu.

Later that day, Dondu posted a pic of his car on Facebook. All his school friends who had not met him for ages, distant friends of friends liked his pic and posted nice comments.

One day, this elderly relative of Dondu came home and Dondu showed off his new car, the relative started off with “Why did you take this model, you could have gone in for a better car, what a waste of money. The music system is looks shabby, you don’t even have power windows, what will you do without ABS… blah blah blah blah blaaaaah”

Dondu was feeling so miserable, he felt like he had made a mistake.

A few more “close relatives and friends” came and did similar damage to Dondu’s joy by finding faults with his choice.

Then, one evening, the neighbor uncle again visited Dondu. Dondu was not that excited any more, seeing Dondu down, he asked him what happened and Dondu told him the whole story and how he thought that buying this car was a mistake.

The Uncle, took Dondu’s hand, took him to the parking lot, asked Dondu to sit in the driver’s seat and sat next to him.

Sitting there in the car, in the parking lot, the Uncle told him – “I was a teacher all my life, for 35 years I taught and I retired from the school owning only a Scooter. You have already achieved more than me at this age, and this is only the beginning. For every success of yours, there will be a few people who will be very happy and excited and will stand with you. And, there will be a few people who will try to put you down by downplaying your success. Strangely, it is always the strangers and those far away from us who are more excited about our growth, and somehow, our close relatives don’t seem that happy.

If you have some relatives who actually feel happy about your success, hold on to them, they are a rare species and you won’t find many.

End of the day, it is only YOU who knows the true value of your success. Nobody should be able to put you down in your moments of success and joy. This is only your first car, I want you to, stay hungry for more.”

With this, the Uncle got out of the car and hobbled away for his evening walk...

Meaning of Life Meaning of Hammer...

Dondu: (Sipping a cup of coffee and getting philosophical) What is the meaning of life?
Pandu: (in half a second) What is the meaning of hammer?
Dondu: What?
Pandu: What is the meaning of hammer?
Dondu: I heard it the first time, I mean, what is the relationship between life and hammer?
Pandu: Full meaning hai boss... If you can explain to me the meaning of hammer, I promise I'll give you the meaning of life.
Dondu: (Ordering an expresso grande) Lets do this one... I've got all evening...
Pandu: Alright then... tell me the meaning of Hammer
Dondu: A hammer is a tool for making items of furniture.
Pandu: That's it?
Dondu: Yep
Pandu: Does the hammer do work by itself?
Dondu: No, someone has to use it.
Pandu: Can a 3 year old use the hammer to make furniture?
Dondu: No way... a 3 year old will probably drop it at the first opportunity and maybe end up with a broken foot. Someone grown up has to use the hammer
Pandu: Ok. 14 years is grown enough... Can a mischievous 14 year old use a hammer to make furniture?
Dondu: Obviously not, he'll probably use it to break things and do more bad than good.
Pandu: So?
Dondu: Alright, I get it... Only a person who knows how to use a hammer properly can use it to create something. Anyone else will only use it for destruction...
Pandu: This sounds better... So lets see if we can define a hammer in a better way?

A hammer can't do anything by itself. All of us get one hammer. What a hammer can do depends entirely on the person holding it. One person uses his hammer to create beauty, to create value, to create something that someone can have and use even after the person is gone. Another person could use it to destroy anothers' creation. How you use your hammer will define you and the way you use it could be an inspiration for another few people.

With the right knowledge, anybody can learn to use the hammer well. We can either learn to use the hammer ourselves... or find a teacher who could train us to use a hammer...

Either ways, our objective is to make the best use of the hammer we have... Are we constantly improving the way we use our hammer?

Still want to know the meaning of life?

Don't correct the mistake...

Dondu and Pandu are both working in different companies as office clerks. Every evening after office, they sit together over a snack. Dondu was feeling especially down today as he got a firing again. He had made a mistake in writing the monthly rent cheque and wrote an extra Zero. Problem is that he had made the same mistake a couple of months back and this time, his manager really lost his temper calling Dondu a good for nothing, idiot and stuff like that. Dondu was quite upset because he writes more than 500 cheques a day and just because he made a mistake in one cheque, his manager called him an idiot. That is not fair. Further, he has been trying his best to avoid any mistakes.
Pandu tried to pacify him saying "Just imagine what would have happened if that cheque was encashed, your manager has a good reason to shout".
Pandu then continued sharing his experience, he had made a similar mistake once. He had once spelt a name wrongly on a cheque and the cheque came back dishonoured. The manager called Pandu that same day and introduced him to a friend (also a consultant) who will fix the problem and Pandu was responsible to ensure the same error doesn't repeat.
Pandu was initially confused. A wrong cheque doesn't really need a consultant.
Over the next 2 weeks, Pandu had to work with the consultant on installing an automated cheque printing system.
Today, almost 400-500 cheques are printed in less than 2 hours without any errors.
Dondu's manager tried to correct the error but Pandu's manager corrected the system.

I made the same mistake once. I had a colleague who used to make too many mistakes in his documents. I explained to him and then fired him a few times with not much results. Then I figured a much easier and peaceful solution.
Everytime the guy came with the document, I would just ask one question "Did you run spell check on the document?" If the answer is yes, I'll review the document else I would simply send him back.
Trust me, it saved tonnes of corrections, work and above all brought a lot of peace to me.

Infact, this was around the same time I got a lot of rubber stamps for entering repeat data. (refer the sharing titled Stampify)

Pandu's manager did one smart thing, he didn't run behind fixing the mistake. He fixed the system before it grew out of hand.

Even today, when I come across a mistake or any issues in workplace, first thing is obviously to fix the issue and then the next question is "How do we make sure it doesn't repeat? What system changes can we make to prevent this from repeating?"

You can either be Dondu or Pandu... Actually even better... You can either be Dondu's manager or Pandu's manager...

You can either correct the mistake or correct the system.

Weekend Rest...

What is your definition of rest?

Most of us will instinctively respond – “Lots of sleep”

If that was your answer too, welcome aboard… we are on the same team… still learning…

It has been a mega long, super busy, ultra hectic week for you. You come home on a Friday evening (those who work 6 day weeks… Saturday evening) and sleep properly. You sleep well into the next day… probably get up only for lunch and then back on dreamline express. And this goes on through the weekend.

Come Monday, you have to wakeup at 5 in the morning (ok… 6.30 for you). And you find yourself with a splitting headache, grogginess and unable to get the sleep out of your head.

I know, it was a long week and maybe you haven’t slept more than 4 hours a day, but you compensated it with a lot of sleep during the weekend, right? Then why the grogginess on monday morning?

Lets assume I’ve starved for 2 full days… is it okay if I eat 6 times the normal meal size just to make up for all the starvation? Will it be correct? Isn’t that what most of us do in the matter of rest also?

This was one category…

There is another extreme who go full steam even on weekends and stay active 18-20 hours a day without taking any rest at all. That too is like starving the body... starving it of the rest it deserves.

I think it is high time we understand the right meaning of “rest”.

A weekend or a day off is definitely time for us to invest in recreating ourselves. To fix the damage done to mind and body during the week. But sleeping is not the solution.

I did a bit of searching through my circle of friends and family and realized that there is a common pattern across people which defines whether they are lethargic or energetic on a Monday morning.

Category 1 – Sleep latenight on Friday evening, getup at noon on Saturday, watch tv, eat lunch, sleep, getup at 7 in the evening, maybe go out for a movie, or play games, eat dinner, watch TV till late night and repeat the same thing on Sunday.

Category 2 – Sleep latenight on Saturday (I guess that’s deserved), getup by 8 or 9 next morning, get fresh, go for weekly shopping / finish pending activities, have lunch, sleep for a couple of hours, getup at 5 in the evening, go to a park or place of worship with family, sleep early, getup early on Sunday, take up a social responsibility or learn something during the morning, sleep a couple of hours in the afternoon, evening family time, sleep early and get up fresh on Monday morning.

No prizes for guessing who is a better person on Monday morning.

To me, Category 2 looks a lot more balanced in terms of quality of life. A person has received sleep, family time, growth, completed works etc and still comes back fresh on Monday morning.

Category 2 above is just a sample list of activities, there can be any number of other activities, physical, mental, spiritual… anything is fine as long as one continues to grow during the weekend and come back as a better, improved and more energized self on Monday morning.

Even if I can’t do all of the things that are discussed in Category 2, I think I’ll start growing the moment I decide to even move from my current routine to this new routine.

Thanks to a few feedbacks and mails I received on an earlier sharing, these questions came to my mind, I became more aware and have started working on it. I think my plan for this weekend is going to be much more positive and the monday is going to be much more energetic.

What’s your plan for the weekend???