Respect your prayer

You hear to a prayer every morning. You start your day by hearing to it even while you are getting ready.

You like it so much that you want to hear it everytime. You keep it as your cellphone ring tone.

You feel really good when you keep that photo of your faith in your wallet. Don't you?

You even keep a picture of your faith at your workplace...

This is the sentimental part... Now, lets come to the practical part and see what happens in reality...

You are getting ready in the morning... rushing around with your chores and in the background your prayer is running...

Even if He comes to your house listening to the prayer... He will see you running around and will probably just leave quitely without disturbing you

Someone once told me that whenever we start a prayer we should complete it. Its not nice to leave a prayer in between. Any average prayer is atleast 2 minutes in length.

Now, when you keep your prayer as a cellphone ring tone, will you allow it to ring for the full two minutes everytime the phone rings?

Infact everytime your phone rings, you will pick it up within the first 10 seconds... which means you are interrupting a prayer everytime it plays.

Even if you keep that really respected picture in your wallet... where are you keeping your wallet.

Atleast I know for sure where 99% guys keep their wallet. (And trust me... that place doesn't sit quiet all day long... not a very nice place... is it?)

Please don't get the wrong sentiments because I'm clarifying a few things... you keep His picture in your workplace. Cross your heart and tell me... have you worked with 100% devotion without a single idle thought... without any timepass in your workplace?

My teacher always says... A time for Everything and everything in that time only...

If you are the one who has achieved a great deal of maturity, where every word you utter and every thought which you get is a prayer, if your work is your prayer... then for you every time is prayer time. 

But the rest of us are still bound by the ritual of prayers... where we say a few handed down words with or without knowing their meanings.

If we have to go through the process of prayer, lets respect our prayers and atleast complete them.

Cost of a Smile

What does a Smile cost?

Even if there's too much salt, eat quietly... when she starts eating, she will realise what's wrong and give you a smile for your patience... That's what her smile costs...

After that argument, just be the first one to hug... and you will get a smile in return... the cost of a smile is exactly one hug...

It just takes one cup of steaming coffee early on a sunday morning to get that smile...

Sometime it just costs a Happy Morning to get a smile...

Just a hug when you come home can get you that smile...

Just a word of gratitude...

Of Course, at times it does cost a 13 Carat Solitaire, $1000 Cell Phone, or a Macbook Air... but thats mostly once a year... other times it still costs much lesser... maybe just a bar of chocolate

Question is - What are you willing to pay for that Smile?

Turning the tables now...

What does it take for you to smile? How much do you charge for a smile?

Do you wake up with a smile on your face?

Do you return a smile when someone smiles to you?

Do you smile when someone says thanks... or do you thank with a smile?

What does your smile cost?

Of course, I'm not asking you to smile from ear to ear in the middle of the road for no reason... please don't do that... someone might mistake you for a psycho killer...

I understand that even being the first one to smile can be a huge effort for some of us...

Atleast return a smile...

Cost of getting a smile is very less... Cost of giving one is nothing...

Stupid me!!! (well not me really)!!!

I’ve seen a lot of people who have a habit of cursing others. At every possible opportunity they start cursing others, speaking bad words at the speed of 40 words per minute. One must be very careful when around such people.

But, there is another class of people who are even more dangerous than the ones mentioned above.

Recently, in a class, I was clarifying some doubts. One of the students came to me and asked a doubt. I said that it was a very simple one and went ahead to clarify it for him. 2 minutes later he came back with another question and said – “Gulshan, its probably stupid of me to be asking this but……..” I answered the question and made sure he understood.

Next day, he came back again “Gulshan, I’m definitely being dumb to ask this kind of a question, but how does this work……”

I noticed everytime he had a question, he would degrade himself and then ask. I told him “I will answer the question, but you need to stop calling yourself by wrong names”

And the reply he gave was even more amazing… “No, actually, I’m only saying it on the outside.” I didn’t see a point in continuing the discussion further so I answered his question and moved on.

Not tell me this – If a person keeps on degrading himself, what good will he do to himself or to people around him? How will such a person ever rise up and shine?

Its even worse when one degrades himself by comparing himself to people around him. Why should you, and how can you ever compare yourself with others? Yes, others have some strengths which you don’t but then you have some which nobody has. So where is the question of comparison?

Further, even more dangerous is a person who is capable of speaking one thing and thinking another. Who degrades himself to show off to the world, but at the same time, mentally keeps telling himself he’s better. How can I ever trust a person like that? How can I believe what he says?

Its no point trying to guess who the student in the above example is. I’m actually talking about you only.

Lets do ourselves a favour by keeping a safe distance from such people. And do ourselves an even bigger favour by not doing it on ourselves.

Infact, as I’m writing, I realize that even I have done this at rare occasions when I crack a joke on myself. I think I’ll stop doing that as it makes no sense to put myself down even in a joke.

I guess the biggest blessing is to be aware of oneself and be able to correct oneself before its too late…

Habits!!!

I just noticed something which I had forgotten for a few years now. Whenever I'm climbing or getting down a staircase, I always end up with my left foot as a last step on the stairs. I remember the number of stairs in my office and building and unconsciously start climbing with the left / right foot in such a way that my last step will be my left foot.
If its a new or unknown place, I'll somehow unconsciously make an adjustment, take a double step and still land with my left foot.
This conditioning has become so strong that I infact find it weird when I try to start or end with my right foot.

I'm a left handed person and being a lefty was looked at as a taboo in my circle at one time. My friends used to tease me in school because I used to hold the pen in a different way, even teachers used to force me and try to get me to write with my right hand.
Somehow, I started developing this attitude that whenever someone teased me, I would tell myself that left was good. I would make sure I do more and more things with my left hand (or left foot in this case).

Today it doesn't matter anymore but somehow the habit has still stuck around.

Another habit which I picked up was to count the number of carriages in the passing train whenever I travelled by train.
These are just examples from my life.
All of us have some habit which we might not have noticed till now.
For example - What do you do when you are sitting idle? - just pick up your cell phone, unlock the keypad, look at the screen, lock the keypad and keep it back.
Crack your knuckles?
Bite your nails / skin off your fingers?
Sitting in front of a TV, simply change channels?
Keep playing with the keychain in your hand?

Most of these things we don't even do consciously, but they keep happening automatically.

Some of our habits are positive, some are not.

This sharing is not about whether habits are good or not. You could have a habit of listening to prayers every morning. I used to have a habit of reading the dictionary whenever I used to sit idle. As a result, I ended up memorising the whole dictionary with all its 44000 words.
Purpose is for us to become more observant and see what actions of ours are because of a habit.

If it is a positive and growth oriented habit, then continue. But if it is an activity which takes up time and energy without any growth, then I think the habit is worth giving up.

Think about it!!!

It is not one way traffic...

I joined an organization a few years ago. On my very first day, I wished the Security guy a Happy Morning and got my access cards. That day while leaving, I wished him a Happy Night. Next day again a Happy Morning and Happy Night. His face actually lit up on being greeted by someone. Over a period of time, this became his conditioning and even if I forget to wish on a day, he stands up and wishes in the typical security guard style.

One of those days, my senior and I were coming from somewhere with my senior walking in front, that’s when I noticed that the security guy didn’t stand up and wish my senior but he stood up to wish me a Happy Afternoon. Probably because my senior never bothered to greet him or reciprocate to his greet. My senior half turned, looked at me and continued walking.

Now, when the first time I wished the security guy, 2 things could have happened – either the guard reciprocates or he continues with his life without acknowledging my existence. In the first case, I already have a good start. In the second case, I will wish him on the second day – again two possibilities. On third day – again two possibilities. Eventually, either he will start responding or I will stop wishing.

The security guard is just an example.

The other day I was speaking to a few friends, we were discussing about this guy who has been sharing knowledge based articles as a voluntary activity and tries to get others to contribute as well. Somehow, he got this thought that he’s been doing it for long enough, but nobody seems interested in reading or contributing; if people are not willing to contribute then its no point continuing, so lets stop it altogether.

(Heart of my heart, I really wish that doesn’t happen… something beautiful and growth oriented has been started and should not be stopped.)

Every morning I wake up with a smile and get a smile in return from my loved one. My day goes exactly as good as the smile I get. If one day I don’t get the smile back, its ok. If on second day I don’t get a smile in response, its still ok. On the 365^th day if I don’t get a smile, its still ok. But eventually, I will stop smiling because I’m not getting one in return. (when that happens depends on my maturity)

Most of us are stuck in this trap of taking.  Taking is not bad, not returning is...

Is it ok if you take salary every month but don’t give your work in return?

Is it ok if you take things from a shop but don’t pay?

Is it ok if you take a taxi and don't pay the fare?

Then why do you think its ok to go on accumulating knowledge but not sharing yours?

What makes you think taking goodness but not creating goodness is ok?

What makes you expect everyone to love you and respect you when you do not speak more than three respectful words in a day and don't utter "Love you so much" even once?

You have made your own life a one way traffic…

If you love reading, for once experience how it feels to write also…

If you love eating, try cooking also…

If you like learning, experience teaching also…

If you like asking questions, try giving a few answers also…

If you are consuming… try creating also…

One way traffic doesn’t work for too long. Everything has to be two ways. There has to be a give and take.

We need to understand that most of us are still average humans with average maturity. I can keep giving upto some extent, but eventually I will feel that its no point and stop giving.

Same is with life, if I keep collecting without giving, where is the space for more? Eventually I will stop receiving also…

Everything about life is a two way traffic, it cannot be a one way road.

“Gulshan… I totally agree with you, I’m also fed up of giving, I think I should stop”

Be careful… This is where your cunning mind starts playing its games.

This sharing is about taking and not giving back – To address the part where most of us are receiving without returning enough. Don’t start counting how much are giving, first list down what you are consuming without returning, then we will discuss about not getting in return.

Now, don’t start thinking about how much hurt others have given and don’t even think about returning it… that job is not yours and mine.

“But, Gulshan… you only told that we should return what we receive”

Darling, I shared about returning what we consume. All the examples discussed above are about us being the consumers. In all the examples we are consuming GOODNESS by CHOICE.

Do you consume pain and hurt by choice? No… right?

Then its not our job to give pain and hurt.

Lets first focus on rising above being mere consumers and make sure that our lives don’t remain one way traffic anymore...

Trap of Errors...

Have just been witnessing a few dear ones falling into this trap over the last few months.

This was quite a few years ago. I was supposed to send an update email to all my clients. This email contained an attachment. After sending out the mail, I realised that I had sent the wrong word document as an attachment. Instead of sending the final version of the file, I had sent one with errors.
Immediately I sent a mail recall request. Within the next 1 minute, I attached the correct file and sent out the second mail. This time, I forgot to write the subject in the mail.
Immediately, I updated the subject line and resent it only to find that I had mentioned the year in subject as 2008 instead of 2009.
Got a call from my Boss:
Boss: "Gulshan, you have sent 3 wrong mails to all the clients in less than 3 minutes. What are you trying to do?
Gulshan: "I'll fix it now"
Boss: "The best way to fix it is - JUST DON'T DO ANYTHING ANYMORE. Take a break and come back."

Have been seeing that around a lot for the last few days.

Each one of us falls in that trap some time or the other, and it goes in the same order - We make a mistake, we panic, we try to fix it while panicking and end up making more mistakes.

This is true not just for emails, it goes the same way for work, relationships, and very often in communication. Very often I find myself speaking something I shouldn't have, I say something to fix it and that turns out to be more wrong and so on.


How to get rid of this trap?

Simple - Don't panic. Pause, Think and Act.
The moment I realise I have made a mistake, panic is the first and the most natural reaction. But thats when I decide not to take any action. As soon as I realise my mistake, I pause, stop, wait and think what happened, see what is impacted and systematically start making the corrections. (mind it, systematically and as per the process).
If the task is time sensitive, I send out an email saying that the earlier mail was incorrect and the correct data will follow shortly.

I guess as humans, we are all bound to make errors at some time, the beauty is not to fall in the Trap of Errors...