I joined an organization a few years ago. On my very first day, I wished the Security guy a Happy Morning and got my access cards. That day while leaving, I wished him a Happy Night. Next day again a Happy Morning and Happy Night. His face actually lit up on being greeted by someone. Over a period of time, this became his conditioning and even if I forget to wish on a day, he stands up and wishes in the typical security guard style.
One of those days, my senior and I were coming from somewhere with my senior walking in front, that’s when I noticed that the security guy didn’t stand up and wish my senior but he stood up to wish me a Happy Afternoon. Probably because my senior never bothered to greet him or reciprocate to his greet. My senior half turned, looked at me and continued walking.
Now, when the first time I wished the security guy, 2 things could have happened – either the guard reciprocates or he continues with his life without acknowledging my existence. In the first case, I already have a good start. In the second case, I will wish him on the second day – again two possibilities. On third day – again two possibilities. Eventually, either he will start responding or I will stop wishing.
The security guard is just an example.
The other day I was speaking to a few friends, we were discussing about this guy who has been sharing knowledge based articles as a voluntary activity and tries to get others to contribute as well. Somehow, he got this thought that he’s been doing it for long enough, but nobody seems interested in reading or contributing; if people are not willing to contribute then its no point continuing, so lets stop it altogether.
(Heart of my heart, I really wish that doesn’t happen… something beautiful and growth oriented has been started and should not be stopped.)
Every morning I wake up with a smile and get a smile in return from my loved one. My day goes exactly as good as the smile I get. If one day I don’t get the smile back, its ok. If on second day I don’t get a smile in response, its still ok. On the 365th day if I don’t get a smile, its still ok. But eventually, I will stop smiling because I’m not getting one in return. (when that happens depends on my maturity)
Most of us are stuck in this trap of taking. Taking is not bad, not returning is...
Is it ok if you take salary every month but don’t give your work in return?
Is it ok if you take things from a shop but don’t pay?
Is it ok if you take a taxi and don't pay the fare?
Then why do you think its ok to go on accumulating knowledge but not sharing yours?
What makes you think taking goodness but not creating goodness is ok?
What makes you expect everyone to love you and respect you when you do not speak more than three respectful words in a day and don't utter "Love you so much" even once?
You have made your own life a one way traffic…
If you love reading, for once experience how it feels to write also…
If you love eating, try cooking also…
If you like learning, experience teaching also…
If you like asking questions, try giving a few answers also…
If you are consuming… try creating also…
One way traffic doesn’t work for too long. Everything has to be two ways. There has to be a give and take.
We need to understand that most of us are still average humans with average maturity. I can keep giving upto some extent, but eventually I will feel that its no point and stop giving.
Same is with life, if I keep collecting without giving, where is the space for more? Eventually I will stop receiving also…
Everything about life is a two way traffic, it cannot be a one way road.
“Gulshan… I totally agree with you, I’m also fed up of giving, I think I should stop”
Be careful… This is where your cunning mind starts playing its games.
This sharing is about taking and not giving back – To address the part where most of us are receiving without returning enough. Don’t start counting how much are giving, first list down what you are consuming without returning, then we will discuss about not getting in return.
Now, don’t start thinking about how much hurt others have given and don’t even think about returning it… that job is not yours and mine.
“But, Gulshan… you only told that we should return what we receive”
Darling, I shared about returning what we consume. All the examples discussed above are about us being the consumers. In all the examples we are consuming GOODNESS by CHOICE.
Do you consume pain and hurt by choice? No… right?
Then its not our job to give pain and hurt.
Lets first focus on rising above being mere consumers and make sure that our lives don’t remain one way traffic anymore...
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