My Annual Appraisal!!!

Yep... that's right... Today was my yearly performance appraisal.

I got spoiled today, went out for a movie, had junk food for Breakfast, Chinese for lunch, 3 large Sprites, more cold drinks.

I started my day with 3 different types of cakes and right from the beginning of the day, I was showered with tons and tons of love, gifts, greetings... today was the day I became a part of this world...

Its only in the last half hour that I actually sat down and digested how amazing a day I had. Obviously, the question came... Have I earned this day?

Every year this day reminds me of how many people care for me and the question comes - Have I cared for that many and more?

Every year this day reminds me of how much the world added to me and the question comes - How much have I added to the world?

Every year this day asks me - Have I done enough justice with what abilities were given to me???

These are typically the questions we face in an appraisal with the boss asking us the questions. But, aren't these questions what we can ask ourselves every once in a while?

Thankfully, I seem to have the answers... I think I have cared for those who care for me... atleast that if not more...
I think I have added a bit more to this world than what I have taken from it...
I think I have lived up to my abilities...
I think I have made a difference in a few more lives...

The overall verdict of this year's appraisal - "Met Expectations. Can do better. Have more aggressive goals and keep working towards meeting those goals"

I think my yearly appraisal with myself went well today if not great...

Thanks to all those who have contributed to my lifetime... I assure you that I'll live upto your expectations and more...

Plan Backwards...

No matter how much you plan, how much you start on time, how much you try... you still end up late...
Project late... appointment late... meeting late... report submission late...
No matter what you do... still end up late...
Is that your problem too?

The best thing about my first mentor was that he had started moulding me even before he employed me. When I went in for my first interview with him, after the initial questions about me and my family, he didn't ask anything about my accounts knowledge, my grades, nothing. Instead, he asked a very different question. This is how the conversation went:
Boss - Do you know how far is the railway station from here?
Gulshan - About 5 km from here
Boss - If you have to come from Railway station to here, how long will it take?
Gulshan - About 10 minutes (this is more than 10 years back when traffic was not as bad as today)
Boss - Do you know how many signals are there in between?
Gulshan - About 6 traffic signals on the way.
Boss - Assuming each signal is a 2 minute signal, and assuming you have to stop at only 3 of the signals, you will end up losing 6 minutes just waiting at the signals... How will you make the entire distance in the remaining 4 minutes?
Gulshan - I think I want to revise it to 15 minutes.
Boss - That's better. By the way, I forgot to mention... There are 2 movie theatres on the way. Whenever a show gets over, it creates a bit of a traffic jam, do you think you want to consider that?
Gulshan - (By now I was getting a hang of it) I think I'll add 5 minutes for each traffic jam. That makes it 25 minutes. Frankly, I haven't traveled on this road much, so I think I will be safe if I add another 10 minutes as a safety. Bringing the total time estimate to 35 minutes.
Boss - That looks more practical.

Most of the time, problem happens when we start planning. We always plan forwards. Whether it is a wedding, a project, a report preparation or just a trip to the airport... For anything we do, our typical planning style is - we will start by this time, it will take so long, we should be done by this time... simple...
We always start at the starting point and move towards the goal.

What my boss taught me that day was the importance of planning backwards. Through the years I worked with him, I learnt a very effective planning approach which has almost always worked for me.

The most important part of any activity is the goal, the end objective. The second most important part is the time when the goal should be achieved. Everything else is just on the way... just work in process.
So, I always start from the goal and the target time.
If I have to be submit a 100 page report by the end of this week, I will break it down into logical bits... either chapter wise, topic wise, or just plain no. of pages. If I have to submit the report by Friday evening, I'll ensure that my report is ready on Thursday evening. This gives me a full day of safety to provide for contingencies. Now, I'll break the whole report into 4 parts and make sure that I complete one part each day. This takes care of my consistency. This will prevent any last minute rush and keep the stress distributed over the period.
The most important part is that I review at the end of every day to make sure of the progress.
A PLAN WITHOUT PERIODIC REVIEW IS JUST AN ILLUSION.

I'm probably not the best planner in the world, but it has always worked for me. It just might for you too. So here's what I would share with anyone who plans things:

1. Identify the goal
2. Identify the time by which the goal has to be achieved.
3. Break down the entire process into smaller manageable phases. Typically such phases should not exceed 6-8. Example - different stages of a project, or different topics of a report.
4. Define the time by which each phase should be completed.
5. Based on the completion time and the duration of each phase, fix a start time for each phase. (this is an important stage, a phase can be completed only and only if it is started on time)
6. By now, you should have a list of different phases, their start times and end times. This is your control point.
7. Now, break down each phase into daily / weekly schedule.
8. Delegate and monitor based on the daily / weekly schedule and regularly check with the overall phase status.
9. Create a reporting / feedback mechanism so you don't have to follow up.
10. Most Important: Religiously review the status every day.
11. Revise the approach / strategy if there are any deviations at the phase level.

I know that this sharing has been a long one and maybe boring for some of my readers. But, trust me, there's always a reason for every single sharing I have ever written.

In faith that this sharing will make a difference to you. Let the coming week be the start of a more planned, less stressful life for all of us.

Asato ma sad gamaya...

असतो मा सद्गमय।।
तमसो मा ज्योतिर्गमय।।
मृत्योर्मामृतं गमय।।
ॐ शांति शांति शांति।।

This is an ancient prayer commonly said on the festival of Diwali.
Literally transalated, it means -
From ignorance, lead me to truth.
From darkness, lead me to light.
From death, lead me to immortality.
Om, let there be peace... peace... peace...

This has been the prayer every Diwali in every Hindu household for probably thousands of years...

Something which I shared last week was still running inside my head today...

How long will we keep asking God to take us from ignorance to truth???
How long will we keep asking God to take us from darkness to light???
How long will we keep asking God to lead us to eternal life???
How long will we keep asking for peace???

Why can't we be the truth in our life... Why not be our own light... Why not live an eternal life in this lifetime...

Infact even better... Why not ask God for the strength so that we can be the Truth and Light in a few peoples' lives... Why not we make a few lives so beautiful that they become Eternal... Why not we become the Peace in a few more lives...

Tell me something... If I can bring Truth, Light and Peace in someone's life, won't I achieve that and a lot more in my own life???

This Diwali, when I sit for my prayer... I'm not going to ask Light or Truth or Immortality or Peace... I'm only going to pray for enough strength to become so good that I become the Source of Light... Source of Truth... Source of Peace for others... I know I will be well taken care of...

Wishing you an Outstanding... Peaceful... Blissful... Happy Diwali...

The most powerful word...

I have a friend who has this peculiar problem - everytime he travels by train, he finds a cockroach. Atleast one. Everytime while boarding the train, he thinks - I shouldn't find the cockroach, I shouldn't find the cockroach... and guess what... whether he travels in normal class, economy class or first class, a roach shall be found...

My brother has this strange thing with hair. Everytime something special is cooked in the house, he will find a hair in the food. Even when we go to eat outside, in the best of restaurants... a hair will be found... Infact, everytime he says - "Today, I shouldn't find any hair in food..."... I don't think I need to say what happens next...

A few weeks ago, one of my colleagues was typing an official mail, he ended the mail with - "Please let me know if there is any more confusion"...

I have never been good in sports, whenever I was given fielding in cricket and the ball came towards me, my friends would shout - "Don't let it go... Don't let it go...". I always ended up missing the ball.

Now I understand the logic behind the whole thing... everytime someone told me - "Don't drop the ball", my mind has to process all of this - what's a ball, what is dropping a ball, how not to drop the ball, do what is required to stop the ball from dropping... Of course, all this happens in nanoseconds, still the ball has already passed by...
If only, I had received the instruction "Catch the ball"... my mind would have to process lesser instructions, therefore increasing the speed.
But, the most powerful word in the statement was "Drop" so that's what happened.

Check this pattern -
Whenever you leave home thinking "I shouldn't be late... I shouldn't be late..." you will inevitably be late...
Whenever you enter a game thinking "I shouldn't lose... I shouldn't lose..." its a fat chance you might lose...
Whenever you enter the office thinking "Boss shouldn't fire me today..." guess what??
Whenever you enter the house thinking "I shouldn't fight with her today..." trust me, neighbours won't sleep that night.

Understand the pattern, the mind only processes the most powerful word in the statement, it doesn't have time to process every word "shouldn't", "be", "don't want" etc are all trivial words... the powerful word in each of the above statements was - "Cockroach", "Hair", "Drop", "Late", "Lose", "Fire", "Fight", "Confusion"... each of these words was the most powerful word in its respective sentence.

While boarding the train you can instead think, "I should find a clean berth today"...
You can very well pray for a clean plate of food...
When coaching a kid, you can rather tell him to "Catch the ball"...
You can leave house thinking - I want to reach on time...
You can play thinking - I want to win...
You can enter the house / office thinking - I will have a great day...

I told my colleague the same thing - instead of writing a mail saying - "Please let me know if there is any more confusion"..., why not write - "Please let me know if you need further clarity..."
Trust me - only further clarity will come from that mail and no confusion because the most powerful word in the statement is "clarity"

Infact, so far I have been sharing only my experiences, what I'm sharing now was recently validated by a friend of mine - It was a drizzling morning, my friend left the house thinking - "My bike should not skid today", he crossed the area safely and reached a dry area, but somewhere on the dry road, there was a big hole in the road and my friend lost control of the bike... it was a pretty close call, but thankfully my friend was fine". Later that day my friend share this incident and said - "Gulshan, what you had told, happened with me today"
My point is - You could have left home thinking - "I should reach office alright..." it means the same but works much better...
More importantly, do you really have to fall to realise the importance of languaging...

Please... Please... Please... don't read this sharing as another "Positive languaging" "Inspirational" "worth forwarding" message... this is something I have validated over my lifetime on this planet...

I know what you are thinking - "Gulshan, do you mean my success is guaranteed if I change my languaging"

My answer is - "No... I cannot guarantee success with powerful positive language... But, I can guarantee you failure with negative language" If you say you want to be successful and continue sitting on the couch, I can't guarantee success... it has to be backed by efforts... But, why waste your efforts by using negative languaging...

Think about it...

For me or for us?

Right from the school days, atleast a few hundred times, I have experienced that when I do something for myself I may or may not succeed, but whenever I do something for someone else, I almost always succeed. Infact the story of my life has become, whenever I do something for others, it works, when I try to do for myself, it never clicks.

Sounds familiar???

I know what you are thinking, "Gulshan... that's the story of my life too"

What I have realised is that nothing in life happens by chance, there's no coincidence. This whole thing called life... existence... creation... whatever you call it... its a huge system. A mega enormous huge gigantic mammoth system... and it has been working for time immemorial.
And the beauty of every system is that it works the same way every time. With a given input, the output will be the same...

If we don't don't understand computers completely, everytime something goes wrong, we think that the computer has made a mistake.
But, the one who understands the computer will know that the computer will work most consistent manner everytime. He can make a much better use of the computer.

Same is true with life, everytime something goes wrong, its not that life is unfair, its just that somewhere the input has gone in wrong...

सर्वे भवन्तु सुखिनः, सर्वे सन्तु निरामया।
सर्वे भद्राणि पश्यन्तु, मा कश्चिद् दुखभाग भवेत् ।।

I had learnt this prayer when I was in school. It means - may all be happy, may all be safe, may all be free from sorrow.


ॐ नमः शिवाय, शुभम शुभम कुरु कुरु, शिवाय नमः ॐ ।।


Shiva Puran suggests has suggested this prayer as the most powerful prayer in the existence. It means - Oh lord Shiva, let good happen, let good happen.

It is infact very close to the prayer my Teacher had taught me - "May all good happen, to all people, at all times, in all places, in all the possible ways"


"Our Father in heaven, Holy be Thy name,
Give us today, Our daily bread, forgive us, our sins.... us.... us... our... our..."

Every prayer that I have heard in every path of belief has one thing in common. The prayer always asks for all inclusive and not for a single person...

When I was a child, my grandmother used to bless me every morning. Literally translated to english, it was - "May you study, learn, win, earn and give a lot of happiness to your parents."

I can confidently claim that for all of us, our prayers do not work when we ask something for us. But our prayer works everytime we ask for something for someone else.

Its a system.
This is the way the system works.
Its no point trying to figure out why... the system has been working that way for much longer than any of us were even born.

The question is, now that we understand it, why not use the system in the right way...

If I want material prosperity, I would wish for prosperity for my immediate family, for my parents. Because, I don't know one single person who gave prosperity to his parents but remained poor himself. If I have the capability to make my parents prosperous, won't I be prosperous too?

If I truly love someone and want that person in my life, I'll pray that she find a person who can love her the most, and then continue to love her with all my heart. I know that eventually we will be together.

If I have difficulty at work, I'll make sure everyone at my workplace grows. Without a choice, without any option... I'll end up growing anyways... If I have enough knowledge to help other colleagues grow, won't I grow too?
I know what you are thinking, what if the colleagues get ahead... If they are capable of getting ahead, they deserve to... atleast respect your own capabilities and don't think that way....


If I am capable of making my loved ones to be happy, won't I be happy too?

Normally I don't pray to ask... but if I ever pray to ask, I ask for us, not for me...

Who are you praying for... you or us???

What's your Big Deal???

After a really long break, I rejoined the gym a few months ago. As it is with any other rusty machine, even my body took some time to get used to moving again. As I started the treadmill, I was panting within the first 3 minutes, and right next to me there was this "uncle" thumping along at 10 kmph. For me maintaining a light jog @ 7 kmph was a big deal and for the guy next to me, jogging @ 10kmph was a breeze.

As I went to the weights section, my trainer asked me to do bicep curls. That classic exercise where you keep lifting the dumbbells. My trainer asked me to start with 7.5 pound weights. After two sets of 15 lifts, I was quite exhausted and my arms felt like a pair of 10 pound weights hanging on each shoulder.
And there was a guy right next to me, with arms twice as large as mine, pumping 25 pound weights in bicep curls combined with overhead lifts.
For me, 7.5 pounds was a big deal, and for someone else 25 pounds was nothing.

There are people who are amazed at the way I can work with numbers and come up with ideas, the way I think can surprise quite a few. Then again, as soon as I enter the office, I see another 29 smarter ones around me and it makes me really question if my cranial cavity is empty. What is big deal for someone is hardly worth talking for someone else.

We come across so many people who are better than us but hardly ever put in any visible effort. On the other hand, we come across so many people who can't even manage the most basic things.

I was watching this cookery contest on TV where the contestants were pitted against the chef. The contestants had a half hour headstart before the chef. But when the chef started cooking, he wasn't even looking at the recipe. At one point he was fine chopping vegetables even without looking at the board and the contestants actually stopped whatever they were doing to see him work.
Ofcourse, the chef won hands down.

When I was just out of my school, being a Chartered Accountant was a huge deal. Anybody who was a CA would receive admiring glances from us students. Then, we were in first year of studies, and anybody who had qualified CA in first attempt was a role model for us. A few years later, when we had qualified as CAs ourselves, we realised that it was not that big a deal to qualify as a CA. Qualifying was only a launchpad for a career.
Today, I see so many students look at us as an inspiration.

I was struggling to manage a 7 member team as a branch head and here I know a person who at the age of 28 has created an entire industry and his business is a Case study at the IIM.

All of us guys know how difficult it is to get the Roti perfectly round, most of us can't even get past kneading the dough. That itself is a big deal for us. Then again there are guys who make impossibly yummy food that looks good too...

You can't wake up one morning and expect to be the best at what you want to do.

That "Uncle" jogging @ 10kmph is able to do it because he has been doing it for years and the stamina has developed over years.

That "Big Guy" pumping dumbbells was not born with large biceps, he has built them over years with a lot of practice.

I was not always brilliant with numbers and ideas. It takes practice and effort, and ofcourse interest.

On the first day, 7 kmph for 3 minutes and 7.5 pounds was a big deal for me. Today, I'm already doing 8 kmph for 5 minutes and pumping 15 pounds, and it doesn't feel like the big deal.

What I'm trying to share through all these experiences is that --- One person's big deal could be very ordinary for another person.
Whatever you are finding difficult to do, there is someone else already doing it... and if someone is able to do it, then its not a big deal...

Do you still think what you are doing is a big deal??? Do you still think what you have achieved is a big deal???

And most important of all... Do you still think that you are unable to do something because its a big deal???

Remember... it might be a big deal today... but if you decide... if won't be that way for too long...