Lets decide the "What"

Let’s play this little game of imagination.

Imagine that you are the CEO of a big multinational company with 500 employees. One day, an office boy comes to you and asks for your time to discuss something very important. Obviously you have a large organization to run and the office boy may not be your top priority. But, being a good CEO, you will make a provision in your time and meet him later.

Now, let’s imagine that the office boy wants to meet you immediately and is adamant about it. He even offers to get you a box of chocolates. You still don’t agree to meet him immediately because you obviously have more priorities. Next, he offers you a cut from his salary so that you meet him immediately.

By now, you are laughing at this guy.

What on earth is he thinking? Trying to pay you a cut from the salary you pay him. If you had a choice, you would have met him on your own time, but because the office boy was pushing so hard, you may actually decide not to meet him at all… Am I right???

Now, Imagine that you are the CEO of a company which has billions of employees and each one of them has a demand on your time. You are a good boss and you want to meet each one of them. Do you think its possible to meet them at the time of their choice??

Obviously not…

You will have to plan your time and meet them as per your schedule. Right??

So, effectively, you allowed them to decide “What” they want, and you are willing to give it, but you will decide “When” to give as per your schedule.

Let me remind you that you and I are still humans.

We as humans are willing to give what the other person wants but we want to decide when to give it, then why can’t we accept this as a fact when it’s time for us to ask.

Why do we have to behave like that office boy and make unreasonable demands and want them fulfilled now?

Every time we make a wish, we want it fulfilled now. We are willing to make deals and proposals to Him in our prayers to make sure it happens “Now”…

That’s not how the system works. Every wish that I make, every thought that I release, every desire that I have, will be fulfilled, but it will take time.

I wanted to marry that girl, so I released a thought, problem is that I wanted to marry her immediately... That’s not gonna happen.

So life took its time and when the timing was right, we got married.

After watching so many Lara Croft movies, you want to marry Angelina Jolie.

There’s just a small glitch, about a million other people want that too, she is already married and has a dozen kids, and she’s about 20 years older to you.

So, does that mean it’s never going to happen?

Let me give you the good news…

I’m a strong believer in the Cosmic Conspirer’s System and I’m telling you that it will happen. Not today, not tomorrow, maybe not in this lifetime, but it will happen.

“He” needs time to move things around and fulfil your wish. Out of personal experience, I can say that it will happen. (okay. . . it wasn’t Angelina Jolie for me, but you got the point).

I have learnt that I just need to decide the “what” and He will decide the “when”…

Real misery happens when we try to decide the “what” and the “when”. And when things don’t happen as her our time, we become miserable…

You are trying to clear that professional exam and somehow things don’t work out, you become miserable.

You want that promotion, and for some reason you didn’t get it this year, you become miserable.

Wouldn’t life be more peaceful if you could just tell yourself, maybe it was not the right time and continue striving for it?

But Be Careful….

I’m not asking you to develop a defeatist attitude and give up. You can’t say this to your boss that “the timing for completion of the project was not right’’. He’ll probably kick you out of the office.

Where “Effort” is required, put in the necessary efforts…. Make sure you have done everything you can and then wait for the result… Be patient… Don’t be disparate…

I’m just saying that everytime you fall, just get up, dust your pants and start running again.

Desperation is never the answer.

Let’s make this shift in our thinking process.

Lets decide the “What” and let Him decide the “When”. . .

How many Gods do you have?

I was recently talking to a friend who is not Indian. Somehow the topic got diverted to religion and here's what my friend said - "I never understand your religion, it looks like you guys have more gods in India than you have people... and you guys are over a billion and counting. What do you do with so many Gods? Don't you feel like consolidating??"

Well, what do you think my answer was... I know, your first guess is that it was another long lecture of Moral Science.
Well... for a change I kept it simple and just replied - "Well... thats India"

But today, I have a question to ask of you...
You agree that God is infinite... You also agree that as Humans, we are finite... The finite has been created by the infinite. Then how can the finite with its finite knowledge ever define the infinite into one single form?
What are we trying to achieve by saying that God is an entity with a form and a name?

We all agree that as kids (very little kids), we do whatever our elders say, we look up to them, we try to emulate them, we treat them as elders.
Don't you agree that not all elders are the same to us when we are kids. Some boys are closer to their moms and relate better with their moms. Some girls are closer to their dads. I was very close to my grandma, but whenever I wanted something, I would get close to my grandpa.

Can we create a rule that all the kids in the world should always only listen to their dads? No...
Kids will always relate to elders like whom they want to be. They try to copy the elders they look up to. Kids try really hard not to disappoint their favourite elders.

I know what you are thinking...What does this have to do with a billion gods?

It does.

As humans, we are unique independent characters. We have different preferences, we like different things, we love different people, we fear different things. On the same basis, each one of us could feel connected to a different symbol of faith.
For example, my grandma was very interested in scriptures, she used to read Bhagavat Gita very regularly, so obviously, she felt more connected to Krishna, so she used to Worship Krishna. A friend of mine is a very timid guy, doesn't want to hurt others, somehow he can connect better with Lord Mahaveera. My mom looks up to Goddess Lakshmi, Goddess of wealth and fortune. I'm a simple guy and trust people very easily, I used to feel especially connected to Lord Shiva, so I grew up worshiping Lord Shiva.

How I wish that every one of us including I could transcend these forms. If only we could realise the fact that the God is a Force. Indescribable, Indestructible, Infinite... how could we even try to describe this Force into a single form?

When we worship these different forms, we are only worshipping an extension of something within us. When we worship the 9 forms of the Goddess, we are just looking up to the various aspects of ourselves. When we worship Goddess Lakshmi, we are just looking up to our desire for prosperity. When we worship Lord Shani, we are looking up to our own desire to be disciplined and so on.

My friend had no idea how correct he was when he made that statement. Just one correction. The number of Gods in India is not more than the people in India, its exactly the same. We have exactly the same number of Gods as the number of people in India.
We identify ourselves with one of the forms of that Force and each one of us is capable of eventually transcending that form to embrace the formless. I know that in this lifetime, that day will come. A day when numbers and names of God won't matter. A day when that Force will be a reason for unity among people. That day, no one will ask the question about god.

Have you identified your God yet?

Jo Dikhta hai...

I recently saw an advertisement on TV where people are buying stuff online and one of them doesn't trust it. So, one of the characters says "xxxx pe jo dikhta hai, wohi bikta hai". It means what is displayed is exactly what is sold to you.
All the credit for this sharing goes to the person who created this quote...

The amazing thing about language is that this same statement can be interpreted in a very different way...
Jo dikhta hai... wohi bikta hai...
What is displayed... is what is sold...
What is displayed....
Thats is what is sold...

So, if it is not displayed, it is not sold...

I used to work in a retail shop and the boss used to place very high importance on the display of the store...
He would pick out the best pieces himself and guide us to create the shop display... Interestingly, those would turn out the hottest selling items

Have you noticed one thing common across all the movie trailers... whether english or hindi movies... one thing is common across all trailers --- 90% of the best shots in the movie are shown in the trailers.

Even when you go for an interview, you wear your best shirt and tie...

One thing common across all this is to make sure that the best is at display...

What is displayed... is what is sold...
That which is displayed is sold...

Do you think it will make sense that I get the best merchandise in my shop but don't keep it on display???

Will it make sense that you have a strength but don't display it in the interview???

Now, once you have cracked the interview and got the job, do you still do it???

I have a friend who is a bit weak in accounts, so he went all the distance, did all the extra research just before the job interview and prepared his accounting knowledge as much as possible. Obviously, he got the job because he was able to display a strength in accounts on that day...
My question to him is - Now that you have the job, are you still putting the same effort???

Even in office, your boss will see the strengths which you display...
The work you get will be based on the strengths which you display...
You will get the next promotion... the next project... the next client.... based on the strengths which you have displayed....

I'm a complete show off.... But right now I'm not talking about showing off...
Showing off is different from displaying the strengths...

You have been in a job for the last 1 / 2 / 5 / 10 / 15 years... are you displaying your strengths in the same way as you did on day 1??? Are you demonstrating capabilities... leadership... ownership???

Tomorrow is the start of a new week for most of us...
Lets start the week with this mantra...
That which is displayed... is sold...
Jo dikhta hai... wohi bikta hai...

"L" Board

I learnt to drive a car quite a few years ago. Last year, we bought a car in the family and I was expected to drive it. There was just this one small issue - I had not driven a car in 6 years, and never driven one on the main roads by myself.
In India, we have a concept of placing a big red "L" on the front and rear windshields. This is to let the people around know that the driver is still learning and should be given more space.
People on the road tend to be a little less rude to "L" board drivers.
At first I pasted the "L" board for the benefit of surrounding traffic. It's been close to 5000 kilometres and I still have the "L" board on.
Somehow, I don't feel like removing it. There's so many things I need to learn about driving.

I just realised, that's the case with almost everything in my life.
Till yesterday evening, I was one of the best in my office. Today morning I walked into a classroom as a student and woke up to a fact that there were 83 better than me sitting inside that classroom alone (I'm not even talking about the whole world... just inside that class)
I just realised how much more there is to learn... and how ridiculously less I know.

Thankfully, I'm taking steps necessary to move towards better knowledge levels.

Problem is - I took the steps after an idle time of almost 8 years.

My question to you is - Are you continuously learning???
Have you kept the student alive in you???
Is you ego feeding you with an illusion that you know everything???
Forget about big things...
What is a new thing you learnt today?
What was a new thing you learnt this week?
What was something new you learnt this month?
Heck... Have you learnt anything new in the last one year???
When was the last time you learnt anything new and useful???

These were the questions haunting me and I have made a conscious decision to keep the "L" board up for a long long time... not just on my car but in my life as well.

Is your "L" board up???

Challa...

I've no idea who I have been looking for...
I just keep searching for him... looking for his place... asking people where he lives...
I keep laughing while I look for him...
I keep crying while I look for him...
Looking up and down the streets...
I feel like I belong to the whole world but I have nothing of mine...
I'm looking for him but don't know where to find him.

In the colours of the rainbow, in the chirps of the birds, in sunshine and shadows, I look for him.
Like one looks for the moon among the clouds... I listen for his sound in the silent winds...

I'm sure he is somewhere very close to me, I can't see him but I can smell his fragrance in everything around me.

He was never separate from me, how is it that I'm searching for him and trying to look for him.
I'm like that prisoner of love who never wants to be freed.

He promised that he'll meet me in my dreams, but the joy of meeting him doesn't allow me to sleep all night...
The very thought of meeting him once in this life makes me breathless.

I keep looking for him... not knowing who he is... not knowing what he looks like... not knowing where to find him... not knowing what I would do when I meet him... I still keep looking for him...

The beautiful thing about music is that it carries different meaning for different people. The above expression is a rough translation of a song I heard a few months. (Times like this, I realise the poverty of my language, I don't have enough words to express the beauty of the original song.)

The song is about a guy who is looking for someone he saw just once. But to me this song has a very different meaning.
To me, this song beautifully shows man's search for his God.
Man looks for God everywhere, in temples, in mosques, in churches, in other places of worship. Man goes to wise men, saints, priests asking for God's address, asking for a way to experience God.
Man searches the elements, the nature, the stars for his God.
Why is it that Man keeps looking for Him when He was never separated from Man. Why is it that Man is surrounded by God, yet keeps looking for Him... Close your eyes and you will experience Him...

Challa is a Punjabi word which means crazy guy. So true, if Man keeps looking for Him all over the place, man must be crazy only... right???

Its not something new which I'm sharing, this is the knowledge handed down to us since thousands of years, yet, like a crazy guy, millions of us will get up tomorrow morning and will run to temples and churches and mosques looking for Him. Maybe, just maybe if we stop looking and just be still, be silent, we just might experience him in that stillness and silence...

Challe... tu ki labda phire???

Choices and Decisions???

Choice is a  possibility to choose from among multiple options.
Decision is the action of having made a choice.

All of us know that as long as we have a choice, we are free to choose... Its a huge freedom...
Once we have made the decision, we are bound by it. Look at it, the very languaging is that we are bound by our decisions. Decision is a bondage...
Right???
We know that we are living in a world full of choices... yet... are we satisfied with what we have??? Are we satisfied with the choices we have?
What's wrong?

What if I turned this entire understanding upside down for you...
What if I tell you that choices are not exactly the freedom they seem to be...
What if I tell you that decision is not the bondage it seems to be...
What if I said that Decision is the biggest freedom in the world that you can gift yourself...

Yep... you read it right...

A friend had come over to stay in Bangalore and was put up at a hotel near my house. Three days which he stayed, I would go and drop him to the hotel on my bike. There was a U turn right in front of the hotel, if we enter the one way, we could save about 2-3 minutes and a few hundred metres of distance, but still I was taking the U turn everyday.
You could easily say - "Being in India, everyone doesn't follow rules perfectly... late night at 11.00 pm, there's not much traffic, no cops... its okay just make a quick trip in the wrong direction carefully and just drop the friend quickly..."
I have a choice to go or not to go...
I can choose based on the traffic at that point of time...
I can check if there's a cop there and based on that I can choose...
Once I have chosen to enter the road from wrong side, I have the choice to stay either on left or on right of the road.
A person coming from the other side has a choice to take the other side or keep coming down the same side...
So much energy is lost in thinking all this, within seconds and that too everytime I go down that road...

Honestly, I don't have the patience...

What do I do?
I gain freedom by  making a decision... A simple decision - I will follow traffic rules...
Now I don't have to waste time and energy thinking about these things...

Recently a friend of mine promised me to give up smoking... a few days later, I saw him smoking right outside my house. I didn't ask but he himself came and said - "This is the first one after 2 weeks, just one occasion since I have a lot of tension."
I didn't see a point in explaining anything...
He is still a prisoner of choice... he has not yet achieved the freedom of decision...

I was a hard core non vegetarian. The quantity of chicken I downed in one meal could put any of my non-veg friends to shame.
Umpteen number of times, I decided that I would give up chicken. First I decided I would eat chicken only when my mom cooks it. Then I decided I would eat chicken only on special occasions. I took up will power games of giving up chicken for 2 weeks, 3 weeks and one month etc.
Finally, I would still go and get one for myself and waste all the effort by digging into that grilled chicken.
This was happening because I was leaving choices open for me. I know that a life is lost everytime to satisfy my 2 inch long tongue. I used to go through some guilt everytime after eating non-veg food.

Then one day, something happened and I decided that I will never have a dead body on my plate again. I decided that my taste buds will never cost a life.
That day I achieved freedom. Its been 5 years and I don't even get a question in my mind on whether I should eat or not.

I decided to have her as my life partner, I don't have to keep looking.

I decided to choose this industry as my career path, I don't have to keep searching.

I decided that my family will always stay in the same city where I live, not there's no two thoughts about it... this one decision is clear, all the other decisions revolve around it.

Choices... You call them freedom, I call them wastage of energy...

Decisions... You call them bondage... I call them freedom.

The most romantic couples I have ever seen are the ones who have been married for 30,40,50 years. Do you think they had the kind of choices we have today. Do you think they have grown to love each other because they each had lots of choices?? Or because they made decisions and stood by them??

I know what you are thinking.... "Gulshan, what if you have made a wrong decision? How will you know if you don't keep looking for options"

My dear, never ever question the decisions you have already made, they belong to the past. Even if they were wrong, its past now. Your next decision can define the rest of your life.

There are no right or wrong decisions, what we do with those decisions makes them right or wrong.

Inertia...

Have you ever been in a function where everyone was dancing and celebrating. Most probably, you were the one sitting at the side watching others dance. You too want to dance but feel shy, that's why you are sitting.
Then, someone comes and pulls you by the hand. First few minutes are awkward, but then you start dancing. Before you know you are dancing in full swing and that day you were the last one to get off the stage.
First getting up to dance was difficult, then you enjoyed it so much that stopping the dance was difficult.

One of those days, you were sitting in the office and working on some issue. Since morning, you hadn't moved and inch on the issue. You were totally stuck and had no idea how to proceed. Around 4.50 in the evening you decided that you will give it another 10 minutes and if nothing works out, you'll call it a day and continue working on it next day.
Somehow, at 4.50 you got the breakthrough and suddenly everything started working out. Before you know, it was 9.30 in the night, you were still in office and finally happy that things worked out.
At first, getting a start was difficult, once you found the solution, stopping was difficult.

Back in school, there were times when you would sit for hours together without getting past 5 pages and then something would click and you would finish the whole book before you get up for dinner.

It was a huge deal for me when I started working out first, but once I started, I was totally hooked on to working on my body.

I started blogging 4 years ago and blogged non stop since then. I stopped for some reason a few weeks ago, and I haven't blogged for almost a month.

There's actually a scientific term for this --- "INERTIA"

Apparently, inertia is not just restricted to the science labs. Its deeply woven into our daily lives.

According to Isaac Newton - The vis insita, or innate force of matter, is a power of resisting by which every body, as much as in it lies, endeavours to preserve its present state, whether it be of rest or of moving uniformly forward in a straight line.

In simple english - That which has stopped, continues to stop and that which is moving continues to move.

Whenever we try to start something good, we find it difficult to start because of the inertia. Similarly, when we try to stop something bad, we find it difficult because of the inertia. But the beauty is that once it is started again, then there is no stopping.

Why I suddenly stopped writing is not relevant right now, I've just overcome the inertia and started writing again.

Tomorrow is a Monday and I think this is the best opportunity to identify our inertia. Where do we find it difficult to start, and where all do we find it difficult to stop.
Lets start the week by overcoming the inertia in our lives...

Where is your magnet focused?

Do you know when your car becomes old???
When your neighbour gets a new car...

Do you know when your phone is outdated???
When your colleague gets the latest 10 inch phablet...

When does your laptop look old???
When your junior who just joined gets a shiney new one...

I'm absolutely crazy about my bike, and have been using it for ages now. But last year, a newer, upgraded version of this bike was released and since then, somehow I've convinced myself that my bike is getting old.
Now, believe it or not, during the last one year, my bike has given me the maximum issues. Starting from engine sound, chain sprocket issues, timing chain issue (I have no idea what it is)... somehow, it feels like my bike is trying to take revenge on me. Latest adventure was when I realised that my tire had gone flat for no obvious reason. I ended up dragging it for half a mile to get the tube replaced.

I have suddenly started facing issues only after I got this thought process that it is getting old.

In workplace, you will always find 2 kinds of people. One's who are always complaining. Somehow, all troubles seem to come in search for such people. And the most interesting part is that their troubles are well justified. Somehow, they are always at the receiving end.
Another category is the ones for whom things just keep happening right. They don't seem to struggle.

To you it might look like, all those who struggle are complaining and cribbing, and all those who don't have any issues are happy.
The truth is - All those are happy, things work out for them. All those who are complaining, get more reasons to complain.

You get what you relate to. The more you complain, more reasons you will get to complain. The more you smile, more reasons life will give you to smile.

Its not that the smiling ones don't have any issues, its just that they choose to smile inspite of their issues.

I know a few of my friends who are absolutely logical, pragmatic, scientific. If you are that type, I'm not sure how I'll convince you. Just think of yourself as a magnet, it attracts those like it.
Only difference is that a magnet can't choose what it wants to be, we can.

I was in a work related discussion today and we were talking about how we need to plan things. I needed to know the availability of my seniors. 2 of my seniors gave two very different approaches -
Option 1 - We will take up this activity. I think it will get over in this much time. But then there are other factors such as x, y, z which could cause a delay. Because of these things, we might end up extending. Plus I'm occupied with a, b, c, so I may not be able to put in time. Subject to that, we should be able to finish it.

Option 2 - Lets see, our due date is x, so we have to deliver within that, if some issues come up, we'll have to move them around, I am occupied with a few things but I think I can manage. This looks doable, we should be able to meet the targets if we push ourselves a bit harder.

The first guy is focused on the issues and can see them more clearly, the second guy is focused on the goal and can see that more clearly. It is not that the second guy is turning a blind eye to the challenges, its just that his focus on the goal is clearer and everything else is ancillary. Who do you think I should work with???

I've shared about getting one's magnet right a few times before, but I still felt that this was worth sharing.

Where is your magnet focused???

For Granted?

You have probably read this story a few hundred times by now as mail forwards and as facebook posts, but I can promise you that you wouldn't have read it the way I did. So please, for my sake, read this story to the end, read it the way I want to share it...

There was this man travelling by train. In the same compartment, there was another man travelling with his son. The son was probably 16 or 17 years old. The son was quite excited, almost as excited as a 3 year old. He was seeing outside the window and making some pretty childish comments every now and then.

Suddenly the son said - "See papa, that tree also has a brown trunk, how is it that all trees have brown trunks"
The father replied - "Well, that's the way it is."
Son - Wow, there are so many different shades of green. That's green, right?
Father - Yes son, that is also a green.
Son - See papa, the railway tracks are going parallel to us
Father - Really? lets see how far they can keep parallel...
And the son kept saying - "See papa, the whole sky is blue", "the birds are trying to race with the train", "Everything is going by so fast", "The hill at the distance looks like its moving forward instead of back"... and so on.

Everytime the son would make such a comment, the father would say "Its beautiful, isn't it!!!", "Very nice", "Amazing" etc. It was very obvious that the father was being very patient with his son.

Finally, our friend couldn't watch it, so he said to the father - Looks like your son needs help, I think you should take him to a doctor.

The father, with all his excitement replied - Actually, we are coming back from the Doctor. My son here was born blind and he just got an eye transplant. He is just learning to see...

The man was dumb struck. That is when reality hit him, and hard...

Something beautiful happened right then - For the rest of the journey, this man sat right next to the young boy and enjoyed each and every sight with the young boy. He had travelled that route a few hundred times, but he saw a new world that day. A world with new found eyes.


For the last few years, my loved one was going through great pain and trouble due to some dental issues. She was not able to eat anything sweet, spicy, hot, or chilled, not able to drink soft drinks, effectively letting go of everything pleasurable because of the dental issues.
Recently, she completed the entire treatment, and is now able to eat anything she wants.
You should see the smile on that face when she eats what she wants.
A healthy mouth is something we take for granted, but for her, it was an absolutely amazing experience to be able to eat and drink whatever she wants.

I used to hug her everyday, three times a day, sometimes fight with her, sometimes not speak to her for days. She would make cakes and sweets for me and I don't remember saying thanks once to her. Then, one day she was gone. That is when I realised what it is to have a grand mother in one's life.

I go to work with it everyday, for 8 years it has been my partner, so much so that its like second nature for me to ride my bike. Then, one day, at 11 in the night, the clutch wire snapped. That's when I realised how I had been taking its reliability for granted.

She's waiting for dinner everyday when I go home, then one day, she was not feeling well and ate early. When I came back home, I was eating alone from my plate, that's when I realised how eating together from one plate was a default activity for me.

Most of us have irritating mom's, who keep pestering us to keep our rooms clean etc, wait... the day will come when you will realise how you have been taking your mother for granted.

You keep cursing the job, the company, the boss, yet you keep coming to the same workplace for years. That credit into your salary account every month is taken for granted. Until, one day, recession hits... that's when you realise that you took the job for granted and never tried to work on your skills...

We take the body for granted... Wait till the doctor tells you about that anomaly in the liver, or that white spot in your mouth, or the day you have to climb five floors and you realise that 125 kilos is a lot of baggage.
If you don't take care of it, this very body will start betraying you...

Only for the last few days, I have become more aware of my dental health, I enjoy my gym workouts better, I enjoy the family time better, I take better care of my bike, I drive a bit more safely, I don't mind doing some house work.

It is the very basic nature of us humans that we take all the beautiful gifts of life for granted and only when they are gone, we realise the true worth of them...
We have been doing this for all our lives... Atleast now can we change???

The Hug...

I was sitting at my friend's place to see her new born baby.

We sat there chatting while the baby slept peacefully. Then while we were talking, I touched the nice chubby cheeks of the kid and instantly a slight frown appeared on his face, then the mother caressed the other cheek and the frown disappeared, even a slight smile came back. All this while the baby was still asleep.

Somehow that baby seemed to recognize the touch of his mother even when in deep sleep.

Must be some magic in that touch...

I remember when we were kids and fell sick, how our mom would sit next to us. She would just keep caressing our hair while we slept. Somehow the touch seemed to heal us. I still remember how I used to cling to my dads legs trying to hug him while I was barely above his waist height.

Even as we were growing up, my mom would give us a hug when we left for school and would welcome us with a hug when we came back. That habit lives on even today. I leave the house hugging each and everyone in the house and again hug everyone in the evening when I come back home.
Not a single day goes by when I haven't hugged each one in my family atleast 3 times.

Unfortunately, in today's time and age, we don't have time to hug, time to hold hands, time to sleep with our head in that loved one's lap...

A father doesn't have time to hug his son, a mother doesn't have time to hug her own daughter... The result... when these kids grow up, they start missing that loving touch which they received as kids. Over time, they forget the value of it.
We now have a generation where a husband hesitates to hold hands with wife in public.
We are in a generation where if a son actually goes and hugs his mother, the mother gets worried and asks - is everything alright???
We are in a generation where if I hug a guy friend I met after ages, three of the people on the road will think I'm gay...

For the first time in my entire blogging, I find myself poor, I don't have enough grammar to tell you the value of a hug, the value of a touch, the value of a clean non-sexual touch.

If you trust me as a friend, do this today. Do this right now.

Just go and hug the first person in your house right now. (that doesn't include your maid servant, she might charge you with assault.) Whether its your mom, your dad, your sister, your spouse, your brother, your sister, you friend, anybody at all... Heck, go hug your landlord...
Find a loved one and give them a hug. Not a single word, no explanations, if they ask you, just say you felt like doing it... Just one hug...

If you are not able to do this even after reading this sharing, then I'm afraid you have already lost the most valuable experience in your life and I can promise you its not coming back.

This sharing is not for you to go and like in facebook.
Its not for you to read and feel good.
Its not for you to read and think - Gulshan writes well.
Whether Gulshan writes well or not is not the question, because if this sharing is not able to change your heart, then all my writing is probably not worth a dime for you...

Go ahead, beat the hesitation, experience that hug, that touch and come back and tell me how it was...
Trust me... I'll be waiting for your comments on this one...

Mirror - Part 2

A few days ago, I had shared about a mirror and how it tells us only the truth. Then I went on to share that every person needs a mirror in life, a teacher, a parent, a true friend... someone who can tell unpolished blunt truth.

One of the feedbacks I received said this - "My belief is that even a mad man walking on the streets, shouting and pouring his anger/tragedy and what not is a Mirror for us, may be not directly for our issues but indirectly pointing us to take care or else......"

Thats so true that I had to share this with everyone.

When I see a man shouting like crazy on the road and being rude to others, I look up and say, Thank God I'm not like that.

Whenever a person drives like a monkey or the hungry coyote and whizzes past me, I just think - Thanks God I don't drive like that.

And then, someone in the office comes and passes a comment on my work, and I don't like it. Then I realise that I said something similar to another colleague a few days ago. This friend has shown me the mirror.

Seeing a friend go through health issues, getting parts of his body taken apart and lying on the table just because he could not drop that last glass or that last butt... even that is a mirror showing me that I have been on the right track so far.

Seeing my friend pile up kilos every year and gathering unnecessary weight on his body only pushes me harder to stay fit.

Next time you see an ant in your house, don't squish it, just shove is far away from its path. What happens next will be a revelation to you. The way it comes back to its tracks again and again and again you might realise something. (and the ant doesn't even read this blog)

My teacher says, some people make mistakes and learn, smart people see others' mistakes and learn. Of course, there's a third category which never learns no matter who's mistake it is.

My point is - 

When you seen someone suffering from cancer because he smokes and drinks, its a clue for you to drop these habits. To continue doing these thinking it will never happen to you is absolutely foolhardy and @#$!#$.

When you see someone driving without a helmet and meeting with an accident, its your clue to wear a helmet and drive safely. If you continue making the same mistake he made... well, then you will become an example for someone else...

The Mirror...

I was looking at myself in the mirror and I noticed that the prosperity was showing itself around my waist. Then I looked at my handsome face and continued getting ready for work.

That mirror showed me everything about me. The good things and the bad ones. It just told me the truth. No sugar coating, no diplomacy.
I as a person, chose to see only the handsome face and not the tummy.

That is exactly the role of a teacher in our life. A teacher shows us exactly what we are. A teacher tells us where we are good and where we are not. But, what to do with that knowledge is entirely our choice. When my teacher tells me that I need to improve my time management, I can either work on it or I can try to justify saying that my time management is not good but I'm good in so many other things. Just like the mirror told me that my tummy was big but I continued to look at my face.

Two fat men stood in front of a mirror, one saw the face, another saw the big tummy. The one who saw the face continued to see the face. The one who saw the tummy started working on it. Few months later, both of them came in front of the mirror. Who do you think had become a better, fitter person.

Whenever I give a feedback to someone in my team, I clarify that the intention of the feedback is to improve the person and not to humiliate or insult him in any way. It is my job to be a mirror there. And it is the person's job to take the reflection in the right meaning.

In the same way, when I sit in a discussion with my seniors, I'm sitting in front of a mirror. It is my job to receive the feedback in the right sense and work on improving on it.

All of us may not be fortunate enough to find a teacher in our life, but most of us do have a mirror in our mothers, sometimes in a friend, sometimes in the life companion. All of us have one person in our life who will always tell us the truth on the face. That person is the mirror of our life.

I've been fortunate to have the right relationships in my life who have showed me truth at every stage. At times when life cornered me alone, the everyday house hold mirror has been my companion. When you look at that mirror and look into the eyes of that reflection (your reflection)... those eyes have the power to show you all the truth in the world... Everything about you...

At times I have been mature enough to see it and improve upon it. At times I have also been immature and ignored it. And I can assure you that everytime I accepted the truth shown by the mirror, I have become a better person.

When was the last time you saw the mirror?

What can you offer?

I went to a temple few weeks ago with my friends. As we were entering the temple, some of my friends stopped at the entrance and bought some flowers to offer, others bought some coconuts. I wasn't sure what I wanted to offer, so I decided to enter the temple empty handed.
As we waited in the queue, waiting for our turn to come, the friends were busy in their chatter. I was a bit more silent (for a change). As I waited there, I was thinking as to what I should have bought as my offering.
First I thought I would offer coconuts to Him, but then I asked myself - who created the coconuts? who put the water and the soft white stuff inside that hard coconut? I found my answer, its Him...
Then I thought I should have bought flowers. Then I asked myself... who created those flowers? who added fragrance to them... Its Him...
Then I thought, I should have brought some milk to anoint his statue. But then, I saw what happens to the milk after it has been used for worship. That same milk could have satisfied someone's hunger... Who am I to take His creation and send it down the drain???

Then I got a bright idea... I'll just make a good donation in cash, that way I don't have to give him anything which he created... then again I thought... who has sent all this money and success to me? who gave me the right opportunities...

By then, it was our turn to offer our prayers. Like a small child, I just offered my thanks and walked out of that place, I felt already heavily accountable for all that I have received and feeling too grateful to ask anything else, I just came out.

On the way back, I was thinking, who's decision was it to ensure that I reached the temple safely and got the chance to offer my prayers?

Who chose to give me a good life and loved ones who care about me?

What is it that I have to offer??? What is it that I own???

My house, my car, my bike, my money, my success, my wealth, my family, my loved ones, my friends, my education, my very own body, my hands, my feet, my intelligence???
So many my my my my my's.... which one of these could have possibly come to me without His decision. If everything has come from Him, then what am I trying to prove by offering it back to Him???
Even my thoughts are not mine...
Yes, you read it right, even my thoughts are not my own. Haven't you had experiences when you were in a tough situation and some idea came and you got out of the situation.... knowing yourself, you also realise that you can't come up with such an idea... what do you call it???.... Divine Intervention.... isn't it??

So when even my thoughts are not my own, what is it I have then that I can offer to him?
Its just like a 3 year old goes to his dad and tells the dad - "Give me 500 rupees, I want to buy you a birthday gift"

I kept asking myself... What do I have to offer when even this body is not my own???
Then I realised... I still have one thing.
One thing which I absolutely own.
One thing which nobody in this world can take away from me....
Its my ability to make a decision...
Its my ability to decide.

We have no time in this fast paced life, even then, if I can take the decision to think of Him, that is my best offering to Him.
I had shared on my blog sometime back, my decision to sit in prayer is the best prayer I could offer Him... I still follow that...
When everything is going wrong, I sit in silence and offer Him my thanks and a promise that we will see it through together... that decision to sit is my best offering to Him.
When I feel like having a smoke, the decision to keep my arms folded is my best prayer to Him...
When I feel like hitting that person right in the face and break his nose, the decision to keep a smile on my face and hug that guy is my best prayer to Him...
When she just doesn't want to listen and I want to just bang the door on my way out, my decision to hold her and hug her as long as I can... that is my best prayer to Him...
When that skimpy micro mini skirt walks right beside me, my decision to look the other way is my best prayer to Him...
That decision to stop and take some time out, buy a few breads and blankets and give them to the needy... Not the fact that I bought them, but the fact that I took time out to do it is my best offering to Him...
We all get beautiful thoughts every day, but my decision to sit down, put them in writing and share them with the rest of the world is my offering to Him...

Whats your offering???

The lost purpose!!!

A few years ago, there were some terror attacks in Bangalore, as a knee jerk reaction, all the top hotels and clubs implemented safety measures. Even malls had security measures in place. Today, years later, I went to a hotel in my car, they stopped me at the entrance and checked the underneath of the front with a mirror on wheels, another guy peeped into the hatchback and satisfied, they allowed me to go.
My question is - If I was a terrorist planning to blow up the hotel, will I just waltz in with a bomb sticking out of the bottom or a bag full of grenades in the boot???
Obviously, I will be more prepared, obviously those things will be better concealed.... So then, what is the purpose of going through the ritual of checking .

Once I was stopped from entering my own office building because I was wearing a Pathani Suit and had about 2 weeks of beard on my face. I was carrying my backpack with me.

At the mall, they have a metal detector and manually check all the bags. I was carrying my lunch box, while patting down the bag, the person looked at my lunch box and I just said what it was, he didn't check any further.

When the project was started, it was decided to have a daily report by generating a status, analysing each item and updating the status. A few weeks later, the person preparing the report was only updating the exceptional items. Another few weeks later, the report was just a copy paste from the earlier day.

The Finance Controller was supposed analyse and sign each of the invoices before approving. He did that for the first few years, but now, its just a formality where the accountant brings all the invoices, in less than 5 minutes, over a hundred invoices get approved.

I used to go for an audit. Everytime I entered the building's parking area, the security guard would note down my vehicle number and time of entry. After a few years, they upgraded the security systems, now there was a security camera at the entrance of the parking area. Guess what, I still see the security guard standing there diligently noting the in and out times of each and every vehicle.

By the way, I'm yet to read a news article saying that a threat was avoided because of the hand held metal detector.

This is exactly what is called a System Entropy... System Decay...

Every process, Every system is bound to decay over a period of time.
People become casual, circumstances change, people change... a complete knowledge and purpose of the original system is never transferred to the next generation. As a result, the next person doesn't see things the same way.
Every system discussed above and every single system around you and me was setup by some smart people. Every system was designed with a lot of thinking an planning. The problem is that every single system designed was suitable for that time.

When I introduce any system, I will follow it 100%. The next person will follow only 80% of that. Next one to come will only 80% of what he learnt from the earlier person. Over a period of time, the original purpose of the process has already been lost.
By now, people are only following the steps without knowing why.

Think about it...

The only way I can see to avoid such System Entropy is to:
1. Constantly review the existing systems.
2. Never allow the steps to become mechanical.
3. Most importantly, never do anything without knowing why you do it...

Let's rediscover the lost purpose...

Just a housewife...

He was the pillar of the family, he pampered her, took care of her, provided for her, never allowed her to do any work, in turn, she took care of his family, his children. She was the ideal housewife with an ideal husband. Then, one day, he was gone. Taken away forever by an accident. She was left all by herself.

Years of being taken care of had made her incapable. She didn't have any skills to go out in the world and make a living for herself. After his death, she had to depend on her brothers and in laws to provide for her and her children. Now, years later, she is still a dependent.

Another, housewife found herself alone at the age of 45. This one was stronger, instead of putting herself down, she started acquiring skills, even she was dependent on her inlaws but for a very short time, in less than 3 years, she was independent and taking care of her children.

I was recently talking to a colleague, he has a wife who is also a housewife. He was proudly talking about how he doesn't allow her to work and let's her be at home and take care of the house all the time.

My question to him was - What will she do when you are gone???

I agree and understand that as men and as Indians, we like to be the earning members and provide for our families, but we also need to understand that confining the family's women within the house is the worst thing we could do to them.

"Gulshan, do you mean that we should make them work and make them do the household chores too? Isn't that too much for the poor women?"

My dear, I'm only speaking about making them independent, giving them an exposure to the outside world. Preparing them to walk alone if the time comes....

When they can do what we do, it is our job to do some of what they do too...

I don't becomes lesser of a man if I washed the dishes or maybe cooked once in a while. I don't become a lesser man if I can help her shopping the groceries or take out the garbage...

Infact, I sharing some of her work only makes me a better man.

I had another colleague who lost her husband and was up and independent in less than 3 months.

It is not necessary for them to work for money, they can just work for satisfaction...

Infact, every single woman should have 3 capabilities - driving skills, English and communication skills and a work experience.

Every woman has to have an exposure to outside world, then if she decides to give that up and take care of children and family, it's fine...

I repeat, being just a housewife is like being a frog who has lived inside a well all his life...

All my girls... Please don't do this to yourself...

All my boys... Please don't do this to your spouse...

Please... Rise... And help others rise too...

The India of my dreams...

I travelled to a country where I stayed for one and a half months and did not hear 1 single car horn. I wish India was like that...(yes, there were cars on the road, and more than you would imagine).

I have been to a place where all the passing vehicles will stop if you are standing at the edge of the road, thinking that you will cross the road... I wish India was like that...

I have been to a place where all the traffic cops are honest... I wish India was like that...

I have been to a place where if two people join a queue together, they offer the place to each other... I wish India was like that...

I have been to a place where the empty chocolate wrappers go into the pocket if there is no trash bin nearby. I wish India was like that...

I have been to a place where traffic stops at red light, no matter what time of the day it is... where yellow means slow down and not speed up... I wish India was like that...

I have been to a place where you can smile at a complete stranger and receive a smile in return... I wish India was like that...

I have been to a place where girls can be out late without being worried about their safety... I wish India was like that...

I have been to a place where someone would do anything to spend time with family over a weekend... not be out boozing with friends... I wish India was like that...

I have been to a place where television entertainment is still entertainment and not just women treated treated as objects... I wish India was like that...

I have been to a place where the first page of the newspaper talks about the good things happening in the society... I wish India was like that...

Everytime I think things like this, the sheer weight of the change required scares me... Just imagine changing 1,230,000,000 strangers... It's just too huge for me right now...

So, I've got a plan... It's a simple one and may take a couple of hundred years to work, but atleast its a plan...

I start creating the India that I wish for. I start by changing myself first.
I don't honk in traffic, I give way to walkers, I don't pay bribes to get out of a traffic situation, I throw trash in the trash bin, I'm courteous in queues, I slow down at yellow light, I return smiles, I value my family time, I watch clean entertainment...

I've changed myself, and I'm hoping that seeing me changed, a few more will change... and one day... hopefully in my lifetime I'll see the India of my dreams...

Appraisals...

The last time I posted about appraisals, I was discussing about my birthday and how I review the past year. This time, my sharing is about the appraisals which happen in the corporate world.
This is the time of the year when you can see drastic changes in the atmosphere of any organisation. After the appraisals are out, you can easily categorise the entire population into 2 groups - the ones who are smiling and the ones who are not.

Lets use this post to look at things from a different angle, understand things better, understand how people think, understand how to handle success and rejections, find answers as a manager, find answers as a team member and maybe find some peace in the process.

Before complaining about how your appraisal went, have you ever placed yourself in your manager's shoes?Those of my readers who have been in any senior position will agree that Annual appraisals are a more stressful period for the managers / HR than the employees themselves.  Infact, in my earlier job, I was always more scared about the appraisals which I had to do for my team, and not so much worried about my own appraisal. After all I was made responsible for their growth.

Just imagine the kind of questions a manager would have to answer within his head before he takes a decision on anybody's appraisal. For every single team member, the manager has to ask:
What has he done during the year?
Where does he need to improve?
Has he contributed enough to justify a promotion?
If not, do I see enough promise to justify a promotion?
If I take a risk and give him a promotion, will he be able to rise up to it?
If I don't give him a growth, how will it affect his career path and future?
What are the HR risks associated with promoting / not promoting him?
How will I handle a peer comparison?
All these guys are equally good but I have only limited promotions... what do I do?
And so many more questions which can take agonizing hours to resolve...
Trust me... most of the time it is much more than just having a list of names and writing % in front of them.

Now, lets look at it as a team member:
All of us expect to grow on the job... get promotions, receive increments etc. but what we need to understand is that promotions and increments are not something that comes by default. Just the fact that I have stayed in the organisation for so many years doesn't mean I am eligible for promotions. Just because inflation is growing at 13% doesn't mean that I should have to grow at that rate.
If I have not received a growth in this year's appraisals, I have one of the 3 options:
I can sulk about it and complain with every other person about it.
I can take it quietly and just continue to live my life as it is.
Or, I can have a frank discussion with my manager about it.
Now, be careful, frank discussion doesn't mean walking into your manager's cabin and asking "Why didn't I get a promotion"
What I'm going to tell is something I have done before and it has given me results, everytime I missed a promotion or an opportunity, I meet my senior and ask him these questions:
1. I was expecting a certain growth because I have achieved so much so much during the year. For some reason I didn't get it. I want to make sure I get it next year. For that, what do I need to do.
2. I want to be at this level in 1 year's time, what do you want me to do in order to achieve that.
3. What are the areas I'm lacking in? How should I work on them so I don't lose out because of those areas again.
4. What other areas do you see me potentially growing in?
And most important, celebrate the success of your colleagues. Releasing negative thoughts will anyways not help anyone.

As important it is to handle the failure gracefully, its equally important to handle the successes modestly.
Every success calls for a celebration, but just because you got a growth doesn't mean you have to go for a victory lap and rub it in the faces of your colleagues.
Instead, one should realise that a promotion is not a status but a responsibility. More than being happy, you should be working to make sure that you meet the newer higher expectations.
I've seen tons of people (including myself) who become complacent and over confident on receiving a promotion and that is the first step towards stagnation and possibly decline.

Over a period of time, I have figured out a few powerful questions which I would ask myself if I'm not satisfied with my promotion.
If I think someone else has got a growth I should have received, I ask myself:
Do you ask more questions than that person???
Do you provide more answers than that person???
Do you show a greater degree of independence than that person???
Are you more efficient than that person???
Did you come forward and take up more responsibilities than that person???
Are you the one who waits for work to come or do you come forward and take up work???

And even if your answer to all the questions is still in your favour, then take this up as a personal challenge and make sure that in the coming year, you display all these traits so prominently that your manager will have no choice but to give you a growth.

But Gulshan, its easy to say all this in theory, practical life is very differnt.

Darling, do you really think I have never received a setback???
Infact, I have been on both sides of the table and I can still promise you that in 12 years of my worklife, nobody has ever heard me complain about my appraisal.
Everytime that my appraisal was not good, I took it up as a personal challenge and over the next one year I  outperformed every other person and claimed my next growth based only on the results I produced.

Smile... Its possible...

History for the Future...

The year is 7013 AD. That's 7000 years after Christ walked the planet.
We live in a society which has evolved into a much more peaceful society, we have taken special steps to make sure we don't repeat the great war which took place 5000 years ago. We live in a single global entity with no concept of what was called a "country" before the great war.
Not much is known from before that time (before around 2000 AD) since most of the historical evidence was destroyed in the great war.
However, recent discoveries have shown some interesting facts. Just last week, I read a news article that we humans have not been alone through history.
An archaeological discovery made in the Asian continent has revealed a collection of recorded journals. These journals were discovered at the bottom of a lake which was apparently a city back then.
The journals have records of an alternate species which lived along side humans 5000 years ago. These were supposed to be violent people who killed humans and consumed their blood. They were called Vampires. However, there was one noble family among these who were against killing humans.
The entire history has been recorded in a 4 journal record called "Twilight". (Curious name for a historical record, isn't it?)
There have been other finds across the world which give records of Vampires on similar lines.
Wow... must have been a scary world to live in back then... isn't it.

Anyways, good thing is they don't exist now. After all, good always wins over the bad... doesn't it.
That's what I have been taught all my life. Infact, that was the exact subject taught in the shrine last Sunday.
Every Sunday, we go as a family to the Shrine of St. Harry. He is said to be the 43rd Incarnaction who walked this planet around the same time - 5000 years ago. His life and story are chronicled in 7 volumes representing 7 years of his life. The scriptures of the life of St. Harry have been found all across the globe indicating that St. Harry had a great influence when he was incarnated on this planet.
Interestingly, those scriptures talk about a lot of things as if they were magic, but in today's world, they are common technology.

Ok... I guess that's enough fiction for one day...

Now, lets come to present world... back in 2013 AD, Bangalore is still traffic jammed, I still need to make it to office by 8 in the morning...

I know this is the most sensitive topic to touch... but lets face it... Nobody knows for a fact what the world looked like 5000 years ago. Nobody has met the person who wrote these scriptures...
Please don't get me wrong, don't think I'm sacrilegious, but for all we know, what we consider as scriptures today could very well be novels written back then.
The same way, 5000 years from today, someone could think Harry Potter was a God and Vampires actually walked the planet.

Two Big Questions:
Question 1.
Why do we have to keep fighting over which religion is superior? Why not just take the learnings from these scriptures and use them for our growth???
After all, won't it be ridiculous if, 5000 years from today, you saw people fighting about whether Harry Potter was better or Edward Cullen was better... Imagine people having riots over this...

Question 2.
If we are going to leave our footprints all over the history of this planet, why not leave good foot prints. With the kind of movies, songs, corrupted content over the internet, what kind of knowledge are we creating for the future generations.

I know I have a crazy imagination and very few people might be able to appreciate what I'm trying to communicate. But, I really wish you could see things the way I do...

A time for everything...

I was so confident when I was waiting for my results. I had cleared all the exams in first attempt and was sure I was going to clear this one too.
I was confident that I was the best one in my group, infact my confidence was bordering arrogance.

Then, the results came and I had failed my CA Final exams. This was my first failure in a very very long time and I was not sure how to handle it. At that time, I was cursing the Institute and my only regret was that my professional career had been delayed by 6 months.

In the hindsight, I do think it was for a good reason. Those 6 months of preparation, studies all over again. Those 6 months of people asking me and everytime I have to reply that I failed... Those 6 months taught me humility... taught me how to handle failures... taught me to get up again...
In the hindsight, it looks like that particular attempt was not the right time for me to clear the exams. Of course I cleared the exam after 6 months and was a full fledged professional.

When I grew in love with her, it took a long time for things to work out... some struggles... those struggles looked unfair at that time... In the hindsight, maybe I was not ready for things to work out in the first time. Maybe it was the right time I was supposed to wait for...

Once I missed a project because I got my travel documents just 15 minutes late. Trust me, that was the most disappointing moment at that time... In the hindsight, maybe that was not the right time for me to go.

I always wanted to have a particular bike model for myself. I have never had the pleasure to drive a brand new bike of my own. Then, when the time came, I ended up buying a car instead. Maybe the timing was right for a car and not for a bike...

We grew up listening to our elders say - "Nobody gets more than what he deserves and before he deserves"

I have grown to become a strong believer in the timing part. I strongly believe that whatever happens, happens exactly when it is supposed to... never before, never late... exactly when it should...

We may try hard, put efforts, pray... do everything in our powers... We may be able to decide the "What" we desire... but we definitely can't decide the "When"...
Things will only happen when they are supposed to... There's a time for everything....

Beware... This is where your cunning mind will take over...
"Gulshan, if everything has to happen at its own time, then why should I work and put in efforts. Even if I don't do anything, it will still happen... right?"

No...
You still need to put in the efforts... Exams don't pass themselves, projects don't get closed by themselves, assets don't build themselves, success doesn't come by itself...
There's a "When" for every "What" you desire...
Funny thing is that we don't know when the "Whens" will come, so we actually need to be working on the "Whats" continuously so that we don't miss the right "Whens"

Think about it... there's a time for everything...

I'm just the messenger...

Just imagine that you are a postman in India way back in 1940. As you are going for work, an old man calls you from behind. The old man is Mahatma Gandhi, he gives you an article to be delivered to the press for printing and sending out to the rest of the country. You take the article, walk down to the press and deliver it.
The message was printed and sent out to the whole country and thousands of people transformed through it.

Now, you did exactly your job, but, did it make any difference to you? Years later, you will tell your grandchildren that you were the man who had delivered the message to the press... and the children will ask you - What did you do after reading that message???

Just because you delivered a message from Gandhi, you don't become a Gandhi.

Just because I deliver messages of life through my learning, I don't become the wise man. The only way to become a better person is to first implement those messages myself before I go around spreading them.

We are living in a time and age ruled by social networking. With all the technology around us, its very very easy to get powerful, emotional, knowledgeable quotes on the fly. On an average day, I receive atleast 25 quotes on FB and Twitter talking about the most profound learnings of life.

You actually feel good broadcasting such messages to the world... And that is a good thing. You don't know how many people will grow out of it... My question is... Did you grow out of it???

Its no point posting a message on love and romance when you just had a fight with your loved one and are not speaking to him / her...

Its no point posting a message on friendship when you are not on talking terms with most people in your office / college...

Its no point posting a message about God while you sit in KFC...

If you are not adding a value to the message, you are just like the postman who took Gandhi's message and delivered it... He met Gandhi, He had Gandhi's wisdom in his hands, and yet he continued to live the same life...

I don't copy paste and share on social networks. If I ever share a link, it is a thought or a quote which is a result of my own introspection. I never share my teacher's knowledge as it is. If it is my teacher's teaching, then I make sure that I have lived by it long enough.

Are you still being just the messenger???

There are no accidents

Was watching Kung Fu Panda again yesterday. In the movie, the panda will accidentally fall in the middle of a ceremony and get selected as a warrior. The master who selects him will insist that there are no accidents. Later in the movie, they disclose that being a big fat panda was actually an advantage for him because the bad guy couldn't use pressure points to hurt him (too much fat). Also, at many other points in the movie, this same thing was repeated that there are no accidents.

It was a nice bright day and I was heading for my office. It was a client meeting that day and some clients were coming from abroad, so obviously I was dressed at my best.
While driving on the road, for no reason, my bike just skid and I lost control of it. There was nothing wrong with the bike, I didn't make a mistake, the road was as clean as a runway, and still, for no reason it skid.
My new pants were tattered and I had roadrash on my knee, shins and palms.
What do I do??? Do I go home or continue to office?
I just went to office like that and did some quick first aid. Then I waited for the stores near my office to open up and bought myself a new pair of pants. The funny thing was that client visit was postponed by a day. My boss doesn't know about this accident even today.
What's important is that I got tested that day. With my understanding today, I can see that it was not a random accident that happened, rather, it was a test for me.

One day, I was going somewhere in a hurry, and slightly touched another bike. I kept going thinking that its a small thing, apparently the other guy didn't think so. He started chasing me, forced me to stop and started abusing in the middle of the road. And if any of you think that you are good with bad words, you should have heard his ample streams of profanity pouring on me.
What should I have done??? fought back? run away?
Those who know me well can imagine, for the rest of you, you just have to believe... that person and I hugged and parted ways as friends 15 minutes later.
With my understanding today, I can see that it was not a random accident, but a test for me to see how I handle a potentially explosive situation.

I know what you are thinking - Gulshan, a loved one died at a very young age in a freak accident. How do you say that was not an accident? What learning are you trying to take from that?? What kind of test is that???

Honestly, I can't answer that right now. If I could, my life could have been very different. I'm not saying everything happens for a good. I'm only saying that everything happens for a reason and there are no accidents.
Just because we, at our current maturity, are not able to see the reason doesn't mean there is no reason.

At our today's maturity, we may not have an answer to that, but I have faith that in time, the answer will reveal itself, because everything happens for a reason and there are no accidents.

Think about it...