Right now... as I write this post, its 21:30 local time...
I'm sitting on a piece of land...
in the middle of the ocean...
just about 60km x 40km something in size...
atleast a 1000 miles from the nearest landmass...
it is made out of volcanic eruptions...
a few dormant volcanoes are still around...
Not a very bright way of putting it... is it???
Now if I tell you that I'm sitting on one of the most beautiful islands on this planet... Mauritius... most of you will think "Wow!!!!"
All this time, I have been writing about the same place...
Its all in the way you look at it darling...
You can dismiss this post as yet another "glass half empty or half full" kind of motivational post and move on with life...
or you can read the moral of this post and ask yourself a question --- "I know it, but am I living by it?"
I'll keep this one short, but i'm sure you can spend a bit more time looking back at how you look at things...
Friday, November 26, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Its all about the Account!!!
When I was a small kid, I heard this story a few times. Still I'm only beginning to understand the full meaning of this story.
There was this princess who was very beautiful. And there was a prince who was equally handsome, brave, smart and an eligible bachelor in all aspects.
The princess got married to this prince and they were both very excired about their new relationship.
The first night of the marriage was beautiful, but things were about to change... change really bad!!!
On the very first morning of their marriage, the princess got up early. She got up even before sunrise.
As she got up, she saw the princess sleeping, he looked so good even when asleep. Next to the prince's pillow was a long sword which he always kept with himself. This sword was studded with diamonds and gems and looked so beautiful that the princess wanted to touch it... lift it in her hands.
She leaned over the prince and picked up the sword. As the sword was very heavy, she could not handle the weight and it fell from her hands... exactly on the prince's neck. As it fell, it severed the prince's head killing him instantly. There was blood all over the place.
The princess did not know how to handle the situation and started screaming in panic.
Immediately all the guards came running in and saw the prince dead and the princess in panic. They asked her what happened.
Obviously the princess cannot say that she killed her own husband otherwise she will surely be executed. So she bluffed and said that a thief killed the prince and ran away. To convince the guards, she pointed outside the window towards the direction where the thief ran.
The guards immediately ran in the pointed direction to catch the thief who killed the prince. When they reached the place indicated by princess, they found a temple where a priest was doing his morning prayers. They caught that priest and brought him to the king's court.
The princess was called in to identify the thief; to save her own skin, she lied that the priest was the thief. The king did not listen to any of the priest's pleas and wanted to execute him right away. Being a religious person, the king couldn't kill the priest, so he ordered that the priest's hands be cut off and he should be sent away from the kingdom.
Here was a priest, who was doing his morning prayers, and now has been kicked out of his kingdom with no apparent mistake of his. What went wrong???
Lets see the story further...
Now this priest was going from door to door asking for money, food and shelter and nobody was giving him any help. As he was crossing one house, he heard a man praying inside the house, immediately he went to the entrance of that house and started abusing god. He started saying bad words to god and even started saying the prayer using exact opposite words to show disrespect to god.
This house was occupied by a wise man. The wise man came out and asked him... "What great tragedy has happened to you that you are so angry with god? "How could someone ever use bad words for God?"
The priest told his complete tragic story to the wise man and at the end of the story asked him "I always prayed to god, never hurt anyone, then why did bad happen to me?"
The wise man had a power that he could see the past, present and the future. He used that power to see if he could find an answer.
He told the priest one more story which goes as follows:
"There was once a hunter who went for hunting. He found a very beautiful deer and wanted to hunt her, so he started chasing her. The deer ran deep into the jungle and crossed one man's hut. As the hunter crossed the hut, he asked this man about the dear. The man was praying that time and did not speak, but pointed his hands in the direction where the dear went. The hunter went in that direction, found the dear, killer her and took her head as a trophy."
Back to present tense:
The wise man told the priest - This deer was reborn as the princess. The hunter was reborn as a prince and the man who showed the direction was reborn as the priest. That explained a lot of things to the priest. He had used his hands to direct the hunter so he lost his hands. The hunter cut deer's head, so the dear was reborn as the princess and the hunter as the prince who lost his life in the hands of the princess.
The story goes on but lets stop here and think for a few minutes...
Aren't there times when we do everything right but still things go wrong???
Aren't there times when bad happens to us and we ask the question... why me? i've never done wrong to anybody, then why me?
Correct, you have not done any wrong to anyone... atleast not knowingly... atleast not in this life. But there is some sort of a higher intelligence... some higher force... Chitragupta... St. Peters... whatever you call it... and that force is keeping an account of everyone of us.
Looks like all the good deeds are deposits and all the "not so good" deeds are withdrawals. Whenever, the withdrawals are more than the deposits, we have to pay.
Going by that, what we are going through today is a result of whatever we have done somewhere in the past. That is why, there are some wrong people who keep growing and only good keeps happening to them... they must be having some past balance.
Then there are those dukhi (eternally unhappy) category ones, whatever good they do, only bad keeps happening to them.
So... It really boils down to the fact that my today is a result of what I did yesterday.
"Then Gulshan, If everything is a result of the past, then why should we do anything good today, because, whatever we do, what has been decided only will happen... so what's the point of being good???"
My dear, if my today is a result of my yesterday... then on the same logic, my tomorrow will be a result of what i do today.
So... If I want a good tomorrow, I have to helplessly be good today...
hhmmm... looks like I have figured out how this account thing works... and it looks pretty simple. You dont have to be a chartered accountant to understand this... really!!!!!!!!!!
There was this princess who was very beautiful. And there was a prince who was equally handsome, brave, smart and an eligible bachelor in all aspects.
The princess got married to this prince and they were both very excired about their new relationship.
The first night of the marriage was beautiful, but things were about to change... change really bad!!!
On the very first morning of their marriage, the princess got up early. She got up even before sunrise.
As she got up, she saw the princess sleeping, he looked so good even when asleep. Next to the prince's pillow was a long sword which he always kept with himself. This sword was studded with diamonds and gems and looked so beautiful that the princess wanted to touch it... lift it in her hands.
She leaned over the prince and picked up the sword. As the sword was very heavy, she could not handle the weight and it fell from her hands... exactly on the prince's neck. As it fell, it severed the prince's head killing him instantly. There was blood all over the place.
The princess did not know how to handle the situation and started screaming in panic.
Immediately all the guards came running in and saw the prince dead and the princess in panic. They asked her what happened.
Obviously the princess cannot say that she killed her own husband otherwise she will surely be executed. So she bluffed and said that a thief killed the prince and ran away. To convince the guards, she pointed outside the window towards the direction where the thief ran.
The guards immediately ran in the pointed direction to catch the thief who killed the prince. When they reached the place indicated by princess, they found a temple where a priest was doing his morning prayers. They caught that priest and brought him to the king's court.
The princess was called in to identify the thief; to save her own skin, she lied that the priest was the thief. The king did not listen to any of the priest's pleas and wanted to execute him right away. Being a religious person, the king couldn't kill the priest, so he ordered that the priest's hands be cut off and he should be sent away from the kingdom.
Here was a priest, who was doing his morning prayers, and now has been kicked out of his kingdom with no apparent mistake of his. What went wrong???
Lets see the story further...
Now this priest was going from door to door asking for money, food and shelter and nobody was giving him any help. As he was crossing one house, he heard a man praying inside the house, immediately he went to the entrance of that house and started abusing god. He started saying bad words to god and even started saying the prayer using exact opposite words to show disrespect to god.
This house was occupied by a wise man. The wise man came out and asked him... "What great tragedy has happened to you that you are so angry with god? "How could someone ever use bad words for God?"
The priest told his complete tragic story to the wise man and at the end of the story asked him "I always prayed to god, never hurt anyone, then why did bad happen to me?"
The wise man had a power that he could see the past, present and the future. He used that power to see if he could find an answer.
He told the priest one more story which goes as follows:
"There was once a hunter who went for hunting. He found a very beautiful deer and wanted to hunt her, so he started chasing her. The deer ran deep into the jungle and crossed one man's hut. As the hunter crossed the hut, he asked this man about the dear. The man was praying that time and did not speak, but pointed his hands in the direction where the dear went. The hunter went in that direction, found the dear, killer her and took her head as a trophy."
Back to present tense:
The wise man told the priest - This deer was reborn as the princess. The hunter was reborn as a prince and the man who showed the direction was reborn as the priest. That explained a lot of things to the priest. He had used his hands to direct the hunter so he lost his hands. The hunter cut deer's head, so the dear was reborn as the princess and the hunter as the prince who lost his life in the hands of the princess.
The story goes on but lets stop here and think for a few minutes...
Aren't there times when we do everything right but still things go wrong???
Aren't there times when bad happens to us and we ask the question... why me? i've never done wrong to anybody, then why me?
Correct, you have not done any wrong to anyone... atleast not knowingly... atleast not in this life. But there is some sort of a higher intelligence... some higher force... Chitragupta... St. Peters... whatever you call it... and that force is keeping an account of everyone of us.
Looks like all the good deeds are deposits and all the "not so good" deeds are withdrawals. Whenever, the withdrawals are more than the deposits, we have to pay.
Going by that, what we are going through today is a result of whatever we have done somewhere in the past. That is why, there are some wrong people who keep growing and only good keeps happening to them... they must be having some past balance.
Then there are those dukhi (eternally unhappy) category ones, whatever good they do, only bad keeps happening to them.
So... It really boils down to the fact that my today is a result of what I did yesterday.
"Then Gulshan, If everything is a result of the past, then why should we do anything good today, because, whatever we do, what has been decided only will happen... so what's the point of being good???"
My dear, if my today is a result of my yesterday... then on the same logic, my tomorrow will be a result of what i do today.
So... If I want a good tomorrow, I have to helplessly be good today...
hhmmm... looks like I have figured out how this account thing works... and it looks pretty simple. You dont have to be a chartered accountant to understand this... really!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
I'm not just an entry in your contacts list...
Phool ki shuruvat kali se hoti hai,
Zindagi ki shuruvat pyar se hoti hai,
Pyar ki shuruvat apno se hoti hai aur
apno ki shuruvat aapse hoti hai.
* Happy Diwali *
Zindagi ki shuruvat pyar se hoti hai,
Pyar ki shuruvat apno se hoti hai aur
apno ki shuruvat aapse hoti hai.
* Happy Diwali *
Sapney aur Khushiyan layi apne sang...
Apko Mubarak ho Diwali ki yeh umang.
***Shubh Dipawali***
And the one who sent me these messages doesn't even know that he / she has sent me this message.
I don't even know who sent these messages to me.
This is just one of the 180+ messages I got this Diwali season, and many more such emails. I don't even know so many of the senders' numbers / emails.
I open the greeting mail and see that there are hundreds of recipients in the cc field of the same mail.
I don't have a problem with the messages, I have a problem with the way these messages are sent.
The step by step process is given below:
1. You get 80 such messages.
2. You like one of them
3. You press forward button
4. In recipient field, select all contacts
5. Send SMS
Job done!!!!!!!
That, my dear, is the problem.
The whole concept of festivals is to send greetings. Yes... GREETINGS!!!
As per Wikipedia:
Greeting is an act of communication in which human beings (as well as other members of the animal kingdom) intentionally make their presence known to each other, to show attention to, and to suggest a type of relationship of people coming in contact with each other.
You have 200 Contacts in your contacts list and it took less than 5 seconds to send a "greeting" to them. You don't even know to who all you have sent greetings.
If a person deserves to get your greeting, then he / she must be a person worth your time. If you can't meet in person, atleast take time to send a personal sms or mail or call up and speak to that person.
If you don't even have enough time to type a message or a mail for that person, then its better not to send a greeting at all.
"But Gulshan... Atleast I sent a message. Thats better than not sending anything at all"
My Dear, if you don't even know to whom you have sent... if the other person received a message just because he is on your contact list... if you didn't think of that person while typing and sending the message... then it is as good as not having sent a greeting at all.
"But Gulshan... This is an excuse to keep in touch atleast once a year"
No Dear, it is not. 80 more like you sent an SMS to that fellow and he / she just went on deleting them. Speaking or meeting is a much better excuse... that too anytime during the year."
"But Gulshan... I don't have time to do all this"
Then don't greet. If you don't have time for a person... then either you don't deserve that person or he / she doesn't deserve you"
"Its easier said than done. Its not practical to personally talk to everyone"
Darling... I started at 8.00 in the morning this festival and went on till 10.00 in the morning (thats it... just 2 hours). And it was the most beautiful experience I went through in a long time. I really think it was worth my time listening to all those responses, speaking to old friends, teachers, distant relatives... "Gulshan!!! whats up man" "Dude!!! are you even on this planet" "Man... your voice has changed" "Great talking to you man".
I didn't have very long conversations... these were short calls. Some picked up the calls, some didn't.. some called back, some didn't... But the best part of all is that I felt good at the end of the process.
I know I had not treated someone as just another entry in my contact list
I know that because of me someone felt good that day
I know I wanted to greet a person and spent time greeting him / her
I know that the people about whom I care are not just an entry in my contacts list
Finally, I know that for so many of them, I am back in their memories and no longer just an entry in the contacts list...
Happy Night.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Kabhi Haan... Kabhi Naa??? Phans gaye na!!!!
We were going home on his bike. On the way, we passed one Vada-pav stall and he asked me "Gullu... want to eat Vada Pav?"
Being a bit shy, I said "No", although I was feeling hungry.
He stopped the bike at the stall and ordered one for himself since I had refused to have it.
After watching him eat for about a minute, I couldn't resist and said "Okay... I will also have one."
He looked at me... top to bottom... without saying another word he turned to the vendor and order one more vada pav, with extra sweet sauce (he always seemed to know my choice).
I really enjoyed eating it that day.
After we were done, we sat on the bike and started riding towards home. He didn't say anything except just this one sentence:
"NA bolke HAAN nahi karna aur ek baar HAAN kar di to NA nahi karna"
"Never say NO and then say YES. Once you say YES, never say NO at any cost"
He didn't say anything else and we rode home in silence. I was maybe 7 or 8 years old at that time.
I didn't realise back then that he had given me a lesson to live by for the rest of my life.
Most of the time we keep falling in this trap...
We decide to do something and withdraw...
Join the gym... drop out after 2 weeks
Pick up a hobby... drop it in a month's time
Start a diet... don't last till the next weekend
Take up an activity and keep thinking... did I do the right thing???
Give up something and keep thinking... did I do the right thing???
What a tragic trap have we created for ourselves... Kya haalat kar di hai apni...
Liya to sochte hain kyun liya... Chhod diya to sochte hain kyun chhoda...
Say yes but not able to stick to yes...
Say no but not able to hold on to it either...
So much of indecision in life...
And the worst part is indecision even after making the decision...
And the samples are all around us... girls shopping for clothes / footwear... or guys shopping for electronics... jumping through jobs... thinking why did you get married...
Today he is not there... but I'm so blessed that I had a messenger early in my life...
He just gave me one message to hold on to and I know that all that I have achieved today is because of that one lesson...
Even today I have issues with the decisions I make...
but I never ask the question "Was it a right choice"...
The question I ask is "I have made a choice... now how do I turn it into a right choice..." --- Gives a lot of freedom
Think enough before saying YES or NO... once chosen... hold on to the choice...
Being a bit shy, I said "No", although I was feeling hungry.
He stopped the bike at the stall and ordered one for himself since I had refused to have it.
After watching him eat for about a minute, I couldn't resist and said "Okay... I will also have one."
He looked at me... top to bottom... without saying another word he turned to the vendor and order one more vada pav, with extra sweet sauce (he always seemed to know my choice).
I really enjoyed eating it that day.
After we were done, we sat on the bike and started riding towards home. He didn't say anything except just this one sentence:
"NA bolke HAAN nahi karna aur ek baar HAAN kar di to NA nahi karna"
"Never say NO and then say YES. Once you say YES, never say NO at any cost"
He didn't say anything else and we rode home in silence. I was maybe 7 or 8 years old at that time.
I didn't realise back then that he had given me a lesson to live by for the rest of my life.
Most of the time we keep falling in this trap...
We decide to do something and withdraw...
Join the gym... drop out after 2 weeks
Pick up a hobby... drop it in a month's time
Start a diet... don't last till the next weekend
Take up an activity and keep thinking... did I do the right thing???
Give up something and keep thinking... did I do the right thing???
What a tragic trap have we created for ourselves... Kya haalat kar di hai apni...
Liya to sochte hain kyun liya... Chhod diya to sochte hain kyun chhoda...
Say yes but not able to stick to yes...
Say no but not able to hold on to it either...
So much of indecision in life...
And the worst part is indecision even after making the decision...
And the samples are all around us... girls shopping for clothes / footwear... or guys shopping for electronics... jumping through jobs... thinking why did you get married...
Today he is not there... but I'm so blessed that I had a messenger early in my life...
He just gave me one message to hold on to and I know that all that I have achieved today is because of that one lesson...
Even today I have issues with the decisions I make...
but I never ask the question "Was it a right choice"...
The question I ask is "I have made a choice... now how do I turn it into a right choice..." --- Gives a lot of freedom
Think enough before saying YES or NO... once chosen... hold on to the choice...
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Behind every successful man there is a woman!!!!!
When he got her a Honda City... she complained that it wasn't a BMW...
When he was working like a donkey... she was complaining that he doesn't give her enough time...
When he was struggling with his limitations... she was busy calling him a useless fellow...
When he comes home... she is just waiting to complain and crib about the whole day...
When he was going through the toughest phase in his life... she came forward and started teaching to support the house expenses...
When his parents fell sick... she was at the peak of her professional life... she gave it all up and stayed at home to look after them...
When he proposed to her... she said "Right now I'm earning more than you... I think we should wait for some time"... and she waited... till he grew enough...
When he had to go away from his hometown to work and create a future for his family... she stayed back to take care of his parents and kids... for years...
When he had to devote his life for his students... she let him go ahead... knowing very well that each one of his students will get more of his time than she can...
Everytime he failed... she said "Don't worry... we'll make it"
When he could not get her a complete meal... She sat by his side and the two ate rice and pickle in the moonlight...
When he had to study further... she decided to work and support the family...
When he shouted at her... she thought "maybe he had a tough day... thats all"... and she took it all...
When he called up and said that he'll be late for dinner by 20 minutes... she waited... for 3 hours...
The "HE" here could be You or Me or Anybody around us...
The "SHE" could be you or anybody around you...
This "SHE" could be a mother... a sister... a daughter... a friend... a girl friend... a wife... or all these roles in a single body called a Woman who only knows how to love...
Our elders had a very cranky habit of being right...
These elders used to say --- "Behind every Successful Man there is a Woman"
They were so right!!! (either ways)
Behind every successful man... there is ALWAYS a woman...
to encourage... to push forward... to support... to drag... to pull down... to correct... to kick... to fire...
But above all... "To Love"
This being true... My teacher recently told me -
"Behind every successful man there is a woman, But behind every successful woman... there is a successful man..." because every ordinary man cannot have the maturity to help create a successful woman...
I think it will take me a lot more time and maturity to completely understand the last point I just said... maybe another post could help us seek the that maturity :)
When he was working like a donkey... she was complaining that he doesn't give her enough time...
When he was struggling with his limitations... she was busy calling him a useless fellow...
When he comes home... she is just waiting to complain and crib about the whole day...
When he was at the peak of his career... he had to give up his job to stay back in his town and sort out the Mother-in-law Vs Daughter-in-law wars...
When he was going through the toughest phase in his life... she came forward and started teaching to support the house expenses...
When his parents fell sick... she was at the peak of her professional life... she gave it all up and stayed at home to look after them...
When he proposed to her... she said "Right now I'm earning more than you... I think we should wait for some time"... and she waited... till he grew enough...
When he had to go away from his hometown to work and create a future for his family... she stayed back to take care of his parents and kids... for years...
When he had to devote his life for his students... she let him go ahead... knowing very well that each one of his students will get more of his time than she can...
Everytime he failed... she said "Don't worry... we'll make it"
When he could not get her a complete meal... She sat by his side and the two ate rice and pickle in the moonlight...
When he had to study further... she decided to work and support the family...
When he shouted at her... she thought "maybe he had a tough day... thats all"... and she took it all...
When he called up and said that he'll be late for dinner by 20 minutes... she waited... for 3 hours...
The "HE" here could be You or Me or Anybody around us...
The "SHE" could be you or anybody around you...
This "SHE" could be a mother... a sister... a daughter... a friend... a girl friend... a wife... or all these roles in a single body called a Woman who only knows how to love...
Our elders had a very cranky habit of being right...
These elders used to say --- "Behind every Successful Man there is a Woman"
They were so right!!! (either ways)
Behind every successful man... there is ALWAYS a woman...
to encourage... to push forward... to support... to drag... to pull down... to correct... to kick... to fire...
But above all... "To Love"
This being true... My teacher recently told me -
"Behind every successful man there is a woman, But behind every successful woman... there is a successful man..." because every ordinary man cannot have the maturity to help create a successful woman...
I think it will take me a lot more time and maturity to completely understand the last point I just said... maybe another post could help us seek the that maturity :)
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