Sign of a man...

I still remember that expression of freedom on my classmates' faces when they started smoking for the first time. We were in 8th grade back then. Strangely enough, the most common experience all of them shared was that they felt like a man when they were having a smoke. A lot of my friends got into the smoking habit that way only.
Lets face it, if you are a smoker, your first cigarette was not bought from your own money... one of your friend pushed you into it and in order to be accepted, you probably started off.
"Smoking is a sign of a man..." I can bet that was the slogan given to a lot of us.

Same is the case for drinking.

We were a few friends sitting over a coffee and the topic came to the kind of dresses worn by girls nowadays. At times, some girls could dress in a way which you and I could feel inappropriate. Whether it is right or not is a different question, but lets face it, there are times when most of us turn back and look at that ultra short skirt passing by.
So the argument was whether to look at such beauty created by God and revealed by a person or not. Obviously, the moment one looks, one is not having any pure thoughts.
One of my friend actually told - "If you don't get thoughts by looking at a very beautiful girl, then you are not a man, something is seriously wrong with you... you can't be a man if you look at her and still not get "feelings"" (you are free to interpret what he meant by feelings)

But, this got me thinking... What is the definition of a man?
What are the signs of a man?
Do I become a man just because I'm able to drink or smoke? or just because I'm able to enjoy the beauty which the opposite sex willingly / unwillingly displays?
Or do I become a man just because I'm able to become a part of a group of men by doing what they do?

This also brought out the most painful part of our society - Peer Pressure but that's probably for another sharing.

Interestingly, I found my answer in Bhagwat Gita.
In one of the chapters, Krishna has explained the meaning of Brahmachari - A brahmachari, is a person who when unmarried, doesn't look at another woman; if married, he doesn't look at a woman other than his wife. This really clarified the meaning of the word Brahmachari to me as it shows that even a married person can be Brahmachari by mastering his thoughts.

After some thinking, I realised that I can extend the same logic everywhere.
The sign of a man is not in looking and getting thoughts, but in controlling the look and the thoughts. You obviously can't walk with your eyes shut, but how fast can you look away... keeping your thoughts in control...
If one is a smoker, then smoking is not a sign of manhood, but if one can pick up a cigarette, light it up, and throw it away without taking a puff, now that is the sign of a man.
Being a drinker, drinking doesn't make one a man, but taking a glass, filling it up, and throwing it away without feeling regret makes one a man.
Being a non-vegeterian, if I can look at the most deliciously cooked chicken and still walk away from the plate without feeling a craving, I think I can be called a man.

Ultimately, the sign of a man is not any of the above discussed habits. The true sign of a man is something inside, something which everyone cannot see and you need to be very close to a person to experience it.
Its a man's heart. The heart of a man makes the man. (What were you thinking?)
How much a man is a man is shown by the way that man treats the woman in his life.

Am I a man? I don't know...
Am I a Brahmachari? I don't know...

But, thanks to a few of my friends... I got a few questions, a few thoughts and now I'm on the way to becoming a better MAN.