This one's going to be long... Very long... So I'm going to split it into 3 parts.
First lets understand what is Split, then the impact of Splits in our day to day lives and then how do we fix it...
It was sometime ago when I went for an outing with my office colleagues and spouse. As always, I went ahead and freaked out, had fun, cracked my jokes, pulled a few legs, got pulled, enjoyed the trip.
At one point, a colleague of mine asked my wife... "Does this guy behave like this even at home?"... She replied - "He's always like that"
Of course, when we had some time for ourselves, my wife said the same thing - "You behave the same way even with your colleagues, I expected you to behave properly and talk less atleast in your office atmosphere"
A few weeks ago, some of my batchmates were planning to go for a drinks party. One of them, refused to go along because his parents were in the city and he didn't want to drink and go home when the parents are home.
(I obviously didn't go). That got me to ask a question - "How easy is it for someone to behave differently when he's with a person, and behave totally differently when with different people?"
Look at the languaging of people around us:
When I'm with my dad / mom / spouse, I don't smoke / drink, otherwise its ok.
I don't speak like that in front of boss, with colleagues I can speak whatever I want
I don't think wrong about people when I'm in a temple, I'll take care of that **** when I meet him.
I don't eat non-veg on Fridays, other days its ok.
When I'm with this person, I do this, When I'm with that person, I do that.
In short, when we are with a more respected person, we behave differently. When we are with peers or alone, we behave differently.
We behave respectably when we are with another person because we respect that person. Sad part is we behave in an inferior manner when we are all by ourselves.
When your kids are not around, you smoke
When your parents are not around, you drink
When your boss is not around, you open facebook
When your wife is not with you, your attention is on every miniskirt and hipster around you
Does that actually mean that you don't respect yourself? coz it sure looks like that...
Ok Gulshan... So what... Just because I do something which I want to do doesn't make me wrong.
Definitely not.
The fact that you do something when nobody is watching and that you don't want to do it in front of your loved one... that makes it less than right...
Gulshan... do you think you are Buddha... that you haven't done anything wrong?
No... the only thing I am is a little bit more aware about myself... and I'm on the way... the one true loved one knows when I have done something wrong...
My teacher always says - What I do when the world is watching is my "Personality", What I do when nobody's watching is my "Character".
Is there a split between your Character and Personality??
First lets understand what is Split, then the impact of Splits in our day to day lives and then how do we fix it...
It was sometime ago when I went for an outing with my office colleagues and spouse. As always, I went ahead and freaked out, had fun, cracked my jokes, pulled a few legs, got pulled, enjoyed the trip.
At one point, a colleague of mine asked my wife... "Does this guy behave like this even at home?"... She replied - "He's always like that"
Of course, when we had some time for ourselves, my wife said the same thing - "You behave the same way even with your colleagues, I expected you to behave properly and talk less atleast in your office atmosphere"
A few weeks ago, some of my batchmates were planning to go for a drinks party. One of them, refused to go along because his parents were in the city and he didn't want to drink and go home when the parents are home.
(I obviously didn't go). That got me to ask a question - "How easy is it for someone to behave differently when he's with a person, and behave totally differently when with different people?"
Look at the languaging of people around us:
When I'm with my dad / mom / spouse, I don't smoke / drink, otherwise its ok.
I don't speak like that in front of boss, with colleagues I can speak whatever I want
I don't think wrong about people when I'm in a temple, I'll take care of that **** when I meet him.
I don't eat non-veg on Fridays, other days its ok.
When I'm with this person, I do this, When I'm with that person, I do that.
In short, when we are with a more respected person, we behave differently. When we are with peers or alone, we behave differently.
We behave respectably when we are with another person because we respect that person. Sad part is we behave in an inferior manner when we are all by ourselves.
When your kids are not around, you smoke
When your parents are not around, you drink
When your boss is not around, you open facebook
When your wife is not with you, your attention is on every miniskirt and hipster around you
Does that actually mean that you don't respect yourself? coz it sure looks like that...
Ok Gulshan... So what... Just because I do something which I want to do doesn't make me wrong.
Definitely not.
The fact that you do something when nobody is watching and that you don't want to do it in front of your loved one... that makes it less than right...
Gulshan... do you think you are Buddha... that you haven't done anything wrong?
No... the only thing I am is a little bit more aware about myself... and I'm on the way... the one true loved one knows when I have done something wrong...
My teacher always says - What I do when the world is watching is my "Personality", What I do when nobody's watching is my "Character".
Is there a split between your Character and Personality??
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYes, there is a split between character and personality. I agree to your teacher's words.
ReplyDeleteAwaiting for part-2.