Recently I was having a chat with my friend and my friend asked me a question "Gulshan, even I want to stay always motivated and energetic like you, how can I do it? Whats your secret?
(yes... a few people actually think that I'm always motivated and energetic)
I almost answered his question but stopped in time. I asked him a question in return. I asked him -
"I will give you the answer... I'll tell you exactly what I do to stay active and motivated... but on one condition... Will you do exactly what I tell you to? Follow the exact steps?"
As expected, my friend rolled his eyes... gave an innocent puppy smile and said... "Well....."
I didn't give him the answer.
You know why?
He asked the question but did he really intend implement the answer?
A lot of people come for free advice... How do you stay so fit? How can you do this? How can you do that?
Earlier I used to be very excited to answer... but over a period of time I realised that the answers I give would not be used and become a matter of gossip behind my back...
We keep asking so many trivial questions - How do I increase my memory? How do I increase my concentration? How do I get fit? Do you think Ravana was really that bad? etc etc.
Be honest... you also would have asked such questions at some time in your life. I definitely have.
Did you get answers?
How many answers did you implement?
We keep asking all sorts of questions without any intention... correction... without any serious intention to implement them.
Infact some characters ask questions just for the sake of asking and don't even wait for the complete answer before moving on to the next topic...
Its nothing but a wastage of our time and others'.
Thats why I decided that whenever someone asks me a question for which I know the answer but I don't feel that person will implement the answer... I ask upfront... "I'll give you the answer but will you implement it?"
Generally its a pretty good way to understand whether the other person will respect the answer coming through me...
(yes... a few people actually think that I'm always motivated and energetic)
I almost answered his question but stopped in time. I asked him a question in return. I asked him -
"I will give you the answer... I'll tell you exactly what I do to stay active and motivated... but on one condition... Will you do exactly what I tell you to? Follow the exact steps?"
As expected, my friend rolled his eyes... gave an innocent puppy smile and said... "Well....."
I didn't give him the answer.
You know why?
He asked the question but did he really intend implement the answer?
A lot of people come for free advice... How do you stay so fit? How can you do this? How can you do that?
Earlier I used to be very excited to answer... but over a period of time I realised that the answers I give would not be used and become a matter of gossip behind my back...
We keep asking so many trivial questions - How do I increase my memory? How do I increase my concentration? How do I get fit? Do you think Ravana was really that bad? etc etc.
Be honest... you also would have asked such questions at some time in your life. I definitely have.
Did you get answers?
How many answers did you implement?
We keep asking all sorts of questions without any intention... correction... without any serious intention to implement them.
Infact some characters ask questions just for the sake of asking and don't even wait for the complete answer before moving on to the next topic...
Its nothing but a wastage of our time and others'.
Thats why I decided that whenever someone asks me a question for which I know the answer but I don't feel that person will implement the answer... I ask upfront... "I'll give you the answer but will you implement it?"
Generally its a pretty good way to understand whether the other person will respect the answer coming through me...
I would say it's absolutely impractical to implement every form of advice that I have asked for. How would you get the benefit of choice and of alternatives if I didn't "shop" for advice? Besides there is always a possibility that I could take your advice and improve upon it. Or maybe I could just use part of your advice.
ReplyDeleteSaying that you wouldn't give answers just because there is a possibility that they wouldn't be implemented, is kind of overkill here, verging on the extent of illogical. Probably needs a bit of rewording on those lines. But yeah, that's unconditional advice from me. Whether or not, you'd like to follow it.
I agree with Rohit to a gr8 extent. I think Gulshan what you are citing here is a extreme example. I guess we need to be careful of the people asking advice for the heck of it or for in many cases fun of it. But there might be some genuines in someone who might adopt a part of your advice and that might solve their problem.
ReplyDeleteRohit / Nishit... Thanks a lot for your comments guys... Agree with what you have said above, one can't be a hitler and expect the other person to always behave as told. At the same time, we all come from our personal experiences. I guess the approach I use is just a way to weed out the casual ones from the real serious ones...
ReplyDeleteThen again, this is not the first place where I decided to go extreme... Is it?