Was just thinking of a game we used to play in school days. We would sit in a large circle, I would whisper a sentence in ears of the person sitting on my right. He would whisper the same sentence in the ears of person to his right and eventually the sentence would come back to me after travelling the full circle.
Those of us who have played the game will know very well that the sentence I said and the sentence which came back to me will never be the same. Quite probably it will be 2 totally different sentences. A huge learning in this game which I realised only recently.
Was a part of a wedding function a few years ago. We were the bride’s side and I was playing a role in some of the organizing activities from the bride's side. In our tradition, we give a lot of respect and special hospitality to the groom’s side including all the guests from the groom’s side.
As the function was going on, the waiters were moving around the crowd with snacks and drinks in their hands and serving the guests. It was a mixed crowd with guests from both the bride and the groom’s sides.
At one point I saw a group of few people from the groom’s side who were standing without a drink or snack in their hand. On the other side, there was a waiter serving another group of guests from the bride’s side. Since I was busy, I told my cousin to go and tell the waiter “Serve the groom’s side and make sure they are comfortable. Take their comfort as a priority”. This cousin of mine, nice guy, went and told the waiter “Stop serving here and go serve the groom’s side”.
Obviously, the guests being served at that time heard him (they were my own relatives from the girl's side), and got upset with the whole thing. It became a huge issue, "Just because we are from bride's side doesn't mean you can treat us the way you want?", "How can you treat us like that?", "Why do you have to invite us and then insult us in front of everyone?"... and so on...
I tried to explain that even I am from the bride's side, we are just trying to be good hosts to the groom's side. Being on bride's side you should understand... but nobody listened.
It was an ugly experience to listen to bad things when all I wanted was to make this the best and most memorable function, after doing so much for the guests, I still had to listen to complaints.
The mistake I made was that I relied on someone else to pass on my communication. It could have been much easier if I had gone and said the same thing to the waiter. I know that I could have handled the situation much more diplomatically.
We all do this delegation of communication...
"Mom, Can you please ask Dad to get me a cricket set?"
"Can you inform Boss on my behalf?"
"I had a fight with her, we are not talking, can you tell her I am sorry?"
and so on...
Looking back at it, we even need an agent to communicate with our God...
The realisation I will take from this post is that "I will never have agents in my communication"
At times its much better to do things myself, especially when it involves communication.
Does that mean I will stop delegating work and do everything myself?
No. That will slow down my growth in life.
I will still continue to delegate but I will not delegate my communication. Whether it is a mail or SMS to be sent, or whether it is a discussion. If it involves my decision, I will be in the communication.
Those of us who have played the game will know very well that the sentence I said and the sentence which came back to me will never be the same. Quite probably it will be 2 totally different sentences. A huge learning in this game which I realised only recently.
Was a part of a wedding function a few years ago. We were the bride’s side and I was playing a role in some of the organizing activities from the bride's side. In our tradition, we give a lot of respect and special hospitality to the groom’s side including all the guests from the groom’s side.
As the function was going on, the waiters were moving around the crowd with snacks and drinks in their hands and serving the guests. It was a mixed crowd with guests from both the bride and the groom’s sides.
At one point I saw a group of few people from the groom’s side who were standing without a drink or snack in their hand. On the other side, there was a waiter serving another group of guests from the bride’s side. Since I was busy, I told my cousin to go and tell the waiter “Serve the groom’s side and make sure they are comfortable. Take their comfort as a priority”. This cousin of mine, nice guy, went and told the waiter “Stop serving here and go serve the groom’s side”.
Obviously, the guests being served at that time heard him (they were my own relatives from the girl's side), and got upset with the whole thing. It became a huge issue, "Just because we are from bride's side doesn't mean you can treat us the way you want?", "How can you treat us like that?", "Why do you have to invite us and then insult us in front of everyone?"... and so on...
I tried to explain that even I am from the bride's side, we are just trying to be good hosts to the groom's side. Being on bride's side you should understand... but nobody listened.
It was an ugly experience to listen to bad things when all I wanted was to make this the best and most memorable function, after doing so much for the guests, I still had to listen to complaints.
The mistake I made was that I relied on someone else to pass on my communication. It could have been much easier if I had gone and said the same thing to the waiter. I know that I could have handled the situation much more diplomatically.
We all do this delegation of communication...
"Mom, Can you please ask Dad to get me a cricket set?"
"Can you inform Boss on my behalf?"
"I had a fight with her, we are not talking, can you tell her I am sorry?"
and so on...
Looking back at it, we even need an agent to communicate with our God...
The realisation I will take from this post is that "I will never have agents in my communication"
At times its much better to do things myself, especially when it involves communication.
Does that mean I will stop delegating work and do everything myself?
No. That will slow down my growth in life.
I will still continue to delegate but I will not delegate my communication. Whether it is a mail or SMS to be sent, or whether it is a discussion. If it involves my decision, I will be in the communication.
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