Are you Listening?

Dondu is entering his friend's brother's wedding.
Dondu's friend is receiving guests at the entrance.
Friend: "Welcome Dondu, what happened, you are late..."
Dondu: "I'm sorry, the bank loot took longer than planned"
Friend: "Never mind... Please come in. Don't leave without eating"


Dondu is at a restaurant:
Waiter: "Would you like to have bottled water or regular water?"
Dondu: "Is regular water safe?"
Waiter: "Sure Sir"
Dondu: "Will I get stomach ache?"
Waiter: "Yes Sir"


Dondu had just helped someone:
Someone: "Thanks a lot Dondu"
Dondu: "You are almost welcome"


In all the above examples and many more, the other person never even noticed that Dondu had subtly but deliberately made a mistake.

In case you didn't notice the mistakes, go back and read once again!!!

Why would Dondu do something like that?

First, its fun... definitely a mischievous kind of fun.

Secondly, and more importantly... It teaches us something very very important which is almost always true in today's time.

Nobody has time to listen.

Everyone is so occupied that at times a clearly articulated communication also misses its target by a wide pass.

I'm not just speaking of others, this covers you and me too.

How to fix it:

1. Never speak to someone when he / she is in a hurry. You need to have the person's attention before you speak. Get the attention, it will cost just 2 seconds, but its worth it, because whatever you communicate thereafter will be meaningfully received.
2. Never speak to a busy person - I never speak to a person who is on phone, or on mail, or in middle of anything else. Whenever, someone speaking on phone or computer tries to multitask with me, I always prefer to wait. I value my time, If I think you are important enough to spend time with, you should also feel the same and give me undivided attention. And this holds true for colleagues, friends, family, children everyone.
3. Speak clearly - repetition is fine. This is especially important in work place. I always speak in complete sentences and make sure I have repeated the point to be communicated atleast a couple of times. In the end, I always get a confirmation from the other person as to what he / she understood. This has to be done without questioning the other person's intelligence. The question is not on his / her understanding, its on our communication.
4. Keypoint first... then the story... : Always give the end result first, if the other person is interested in details, then go for it. A person's attention span is only half a minute... If you beat around the bush for first few minutes and then come to the point, you have already lost the audience.

This fixes the communication part, but we also need to fix the receiving part... simply apply the above rules to yourself...

1. Relax and listen
2. No multitasking while speaking / listening
3. Understand the point. Its okay and sometimes even good to repeat what you have understood. Keeps the communication clear.
4. Listen for keypoints.
5. At the end of a communication, you should walk away with action points and tasks.

The purpose of this post is not just for us to be better communicators but to be better listeners too.

We all know how we have made some mistakes in the past where we missed something someone had said. Lets move towards becoming better listeners.