Recently I was part of an event where I was helping a few students prepare their presentations.
On the day of presentations, one of the student speakers came to me and said “In this particular part of the presentation, I am making a statement. Do you think that instead of making a statement it is a better idea to pose a question to the audience?”
I knew that the speaker was a first time speaker on the stage. I told – “If you pose a question, the audience can either say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ in response to your question. Do you think you are prepared to handle the answer? Plus, its not a good idea to make last minute changes to a thorough preparation.” The speaker went ahead with the earlier preparation and didn’t pose it as a question.
What goes around comes around, including lessons of life.
In the very same event, I was also responsible for crowd management. As a part of my plan, people were not supposed to leave the hall before a certain time. However, they started leaving. So I took the mic and addressed the crowd. I knew this particular gathering of students takes great pride in themselves. So I addressed the crowd and asked the question “Are you all students of a professional course?” I was expecting a “Yes” so then I would tell them to show it by behaving and being seated and the crowd will get managed.
What I forgot is that these students take great pride in crushing another person’s ego.
As soon as I asked the question, I was slapped with a resounding “NO” from the crowd. All 1500+ at the same time. That day I realized how it feels when the heart, brain and tongue stop working all at the same time.
After about a nano second of shock, I asked the question again (I was actually buying time to figure out a response for myself). Again the response came as “NO”.
Third time I Asked “No?”
A resounding “NO?” (By now, I knew what I was doing, I was prepared for a “NO” next time as well.)
“Final Time, NO?”
“NO”
“NO”
“Then be seated!!!” was my response
Instantly the crowd broke into a huge laughter and settled down. I just took a minute to explain the crowd management plan to the students and they were willing to be seated for some more time.
The lesson I learnt here was, first of all, I myself had given a lesson to someone earlier and didn’t follow it for myself.
Second, obviously I had asked a question but was not prepared to handle all the possible answers. I was only ready to handle the answer I wanted to hear.
This was the second time I made this mistake, even when I proposed to my fiancé, I was prepared for all the negative responses because that is what I was expecting, but she shocked me by saying Yes and I didn’t know how to handle.
The above questions were still questions with a purpose, worst part is that we all have this bad habit of asking useless questions just for the sake of asking.
Do you love me? How much do you love me? Do I look fat?
And then, we expect that the answer should also be as per our choice.
Well, Sorry, this is not Utopia.
Just imagine how it would feel if you get any of these answers:
Do you love me? --- No.
How much do you love me? --- I love you as much as my Playstation 2.
Do I look fat? --- Of course, what do you expect sitting on the couch and watching melodrama all day long?
What is the purpose of my life? --- You being born was just a mistake.
Why am I going through all this? --- Because you were an absolute sinner in the last life and you are paying for it now.
Whether it is the above questions or any other question at workplace, in profession, to my teacher, the lesson I learnt from this experience is that:
1. If I ask a question, I will accept the answer with an open mind.
2. I will ask a question only if I am prepared to handle the answer… whatever it might be.
good one ....:)
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