Sorry for the bad joke...

There is a very thin line between humour and sarcasm.

A bad joke even if it is in good humour can do a lot more damage than a few bad word spoken in anger.

This one's dedicated to all my really really close friends who I value a lot.

Exactly a week ago, I cracked a joke which I thought was funny, but turns out that unknowingly I have hurt some of my friends.

I am sorry to all my friends for the impropriety on my part. It was never my intention to send across a wrong message.

I believe this is the best way to say sorry because if I come and apologise to you in person, I might end up hurting you more.

I know I can get pretty weird when it comes to jokes, thats why most of my jokes are on myself. Even this bad joke was on myself, but I guess I crossed the line.
If you have felt bad, then it means that you value me as a friend and I value that more than anything else.

I am really really sorry if I have struck the wrong cords,
I will make sure this does not happen again
and if there is anything I can do to fix this, I will do it.

I know the power of words, and that the damage done by words can never be healed.

I promise to you that I will be more careful in cracking jokes in the future.


By the way, for those who are still confused, this post was intended only for those friends of mine who know the background and were there at that time and at that place.

If what I'm talking about didn't make sense to you, then it means you were not there at that time.

Please don't go on a hunting trip to find out what I'm talking about.

If possible, take a lesson from my mistake and maybe learn the value of humour.

Alcohell...

No… this is not a spelling mistake. That’s the correct spelling…

Warning:

This is going to be a very rude and blunt post… if you are not ready… do yourself a favour… don’t read further…

Those who know me, know well that at the end of this post, what you think of me will not make any difference to me… but it will make all the difference to you…

Sometime ago, a friend of mine told me – Red wine is good for health, even doctors say we should drink red wine… you should try it once…

I told him – “My question is – If it is that good for health, why don’t you give a small dose of it to your 1 year old son every day before breakfast and dinner???”

Someone said – Brandy is good... “Doctor’s Brandy”… it keeps the body warm… even our grandparents used to give it when we were kids.

Oh… I guess my grand parents were not that smart because they told me that things like jaggery, pepper, honey, tulsi, ginger etc would keep the body warm…

Someone said – Drinking is the sign of a man…

My dear… “Not drinking” is the sign of a complete man…

If you have an evening to spend… will you spend it drinking with friends or with your spouse???

This is not a casual question... So Think and then Answer…

Bacardi breezers are fine… they have very low alcohol content… they can’t do any harm…

Again, my question is… will you give even a teaspoon of Bacardi breezer to your 1 year old son???

If your answer is yes, then you are reading the wrong blog. If this can’t change your mind, then nothing in this world can… there are a lot of websites on the internet glorifying alcohol for connoisseurs like yourself…

There are only 2 things that alcohol can do to you –

At worst, it will turn you into an animal with no respect or consideration for others… violent, moody, unpredictable… Eventually, you will end up making a mistake which you will regret for the rest of your life.

At best, it will turn you into a clown, a funny source of cheap entertainment to others and a complete embarrassment to yourself… chances are that you will end up carrying that with you too…

I know, some of you are thinking that Gulshan behaves like a clown even without drinking... correct, I am an absolute clown... but by my decision and not by the bottle's decision... I'm in always in my senses (whatever senses I've got)

Something which can make you do things which you wouldn’t do in your full senses… how can that be good?

If you have had even a single sip of this stuff, no mother in this world will give her child in your lap as long as you have the smell in your mouth… and I’m sure mothers are not stupid.

I really respect the Islamic scripture because it has banned consumption of alcohol in any form…

Even Hinduism has classified alcohol as “Tamasik” because of its inherent nature…

Those who wrote these scriptures were probably not that stupid too…

But Gulshan… I always have control…

My Dear, control is only an illusion… If you are thinking that you are in control… just wait!!!

I know this post will hurt… and the intention of this post is to hurt…

It is better to get hurt now and correct oneself rather than to wait for life to come and correct the harder way…

What I’m saying will hurt “you”… when life decides to correct you, it will hurt “you and the ones you love”…

The choice is entirely yours…

Abundance = Bad ???

Was just going on a bike with a friend a few weeks ago. On the way we saw a BMW X6 2011 model (its a pretty cool car).
We sped up just to get closer to the car and have a better look.
As we got closer, I told my friend - "One of these days, I have to own one like this one"
Immediately my friend said - "All these guys make money by wrong means, straight guys like you and me can't get that rich" and for the next 5 minutes he continued saying a few things which I don't want to share here.

What he is doing is that he is unknowingly creating a mental programming that Rich = Bad.
Rich can only happen through wrong means. He is associating negative thoughts with abundance.

On the other hand, everytime I see an awesome house, or a nice car, or a successful person, I just tell myself - I will be there someday.

For just a moment, lets forget about all the spiritual gyan given to us, all the theories and all the logic. Just tell me one thing...
Everything else remaining constant, out of the above 2 people above (me and my friend), who has a better chance at abundance... the one who appreciates and craves for it or the one who criticizes it...

What I or my friend said about the BMW owner will never make any difference to that person, but it will make all the difference to us.

When you see someone getting married, what do you think -
"wow, great"           or           "one more gone"

When you see someone buying a new house or a car, what do you think -
"that's great, I think I should also get one" or "let's see how he can afford it"

When your colleague gets promoted, what do you think -
"*** kisser, apple polisher"           or           "next time its going to be me"

When you lose a game -
"he cheated"           or           "I'll be back when I'm better"

Now, evaluate your current stage in life with your responses above...

What you think will not make a difference to the other person, but it will make all the difference to you...

All the above is true only if I'm careful of one thing...
Thinking alone is not enough... Any thoughts or words released by me have to be backed by consistent action... otherwise they are just a big waste of energy...

Just come up and see...

Went to a trek a few months ago, it was an 'interesting' trek coz the friend taking us made us climb the hill twice in a single trip. By the time we reached the top of the hill, I was tired, frustrated, panting and wheezing and in a pretty unhappy mood.
At the top of the hill, there was a pole with ladder rungs attached to it. It was for people to climb the pole and enjoy the view from the pole top on the hill top.
My friend climbed the pole and took a lot of snaps, called me to climb up and see but I was too tired of the trek so I passed it.
Few days later I went there with another friend. This time I climbed the pole and my friend was too tired. It was an awesome view, I never knew that a 15 feet pole could change the view so much.
I kept telling my friend - just come up and see... Again and again but no use.
Thinking about it yesterday I realized how powerful this realization is...
A doctor always wants his kids to be doctors... Why??
Because he has been up there, seen the reverence, the respect... And he wants his kids to experience that...

A CA always wants his children to be CAs because he has seen the professional excellence, the trust and he wants them to experience that.
Once a friend of mine who is a regular smoker and drinker told me - Gulshan, you don't know what you are missing...
I told him, you don't know what you are missing...
Do you remember the feeling of clear lungs...
That feeling of running 100 mtrs without panting...
That feeling of getting up without a hangover...

A manager is a manager only if he can create managers. A leader is a leader only if he can create leaders...

I have this obsession that whenever I experience something great, I have to tell it to everyone and make sure everyone experiences it... At times I become a bit aggressive in trying to show convince others...

If you have tasted that sense of success, that victory, that promotion, if your student has ever scored a rank, when your subordinate goes on to become a manager himself... You will know exactly what I'm talking about...
At the end of it, all I'm trying to say is for God's sake, just come up and see...

Did I Say that?

Recently I met an old friend. He was my senior during apprenticeship days but we got to work together only for about 10-15 days or so.
We were meeting after 9 years, still we recognized each other in one look. It was great catching up.
During the chit chat, I shared a learning I took from him all those years ago, here it goes:
I went on my first audit with him and on the very first day, he said “The best way to do an audit is to wear 2 hats at the same time. Everytime you are checking an invoice or a voucher, first ask yourself whether you will accept it if you were the “Boss” of that company. Second, ask yourself whether you will accept it if you were the “Tax Officer”. If answer to both is ok, then the document is fine, otherwise make an audit note.”
This philosophy has driven my audits and my professional work for almost a decade. He could have easily told me “Tick date, Tick Amount, Tick Account Head, Tick Authorised Signature and move on to the next voucher”, but he didn’t do that.
The best part is that he doesn’t even remember that he said this to me and he asked me "Did I say that?"
Most of us today are in influential positions. We don’t have to be high profile bosses or public figures… As a manager, I’m influential in my office. As a team leader, I’m influential to my team. As an elder brother, I’m influential to my siblings. As a spouse, I’m influential to my partner for life. On the road, when someone asks me for directions, at that moment, in that minute, I’m influential to that person in that aspect.
Whatever I say from a position of influence can have a permanent mark on the other person. It could be a casual comment, a piece of advice, a clarification, an instruction… anything…

Now, lets just take a minute and check what language we are using…
On an average, every sentence of ours starts with F***, every response with Sh** and every sentence ends with A**. What words and memories of ours are we leaving with others?

In this lifetime, I don’t know how many people I have spoken to, and I definitely don’t remember what I have spoken to them… I might have been useful to some, I might have been nice to some and I might have been rude to some.
I will never come to know how it changed my relationship with them.
It’s like having walked down a one way road, throwing seeds on both sides of the road, I don’t know how many of them have become trees today…
Past is Past, I have no control over it, but what I can control is that a negative word will not come through me from now on…
I have dropped bad words from my grammar…
I made this decision about 3 years back when my Teacher said something in a class.
Today after having followed it for 3 years, I can confidently say that nobody can catch me speaking bad words.
Something spoken by me will only do a good to somebody; otherwise it’s not worth speaking.

Is it ok to cry?

Was watching a game show on TV where a guy winning Rs 5,000,000 was faced with a question for Rs 10,000,000. He had one celebrity on the show to help him out with the question. The celebrity guest gave him the answer and it turned out right...
There was euphoria all over the sets, everyone was happy, everyone was celebrating and dancing... Just for a split second they showed the face of that celebrity and he was wiping his tears off.
Why was he crying?

From our childhood, we have been brought up being told that we should not cry... crying is a sign of weakness... Crying is for girls only... etc.... etc... etc...

I was lucky enough to have a teacher explain to me the science behind crying.
In short, lets just say that when our mind doesn't know how to handle a certain emotion, it processes that emotion into tears and we cry...
That is the reason why we feel like crying when we are too happy, too emotional, too sad and so on...

It is ok to cry out of joy...
It is ok to cry out of happiness...
It is ok to cry out of gratitude...
It is ok to cry out of compassion... feeling the pain of another person...
Maybe, just maybe it is ok to cry in pain...

But going on crying out of one's own pain is not ok.
You keep crying because there are challenges in your life, because someone doesn't love you, because you are ugly, because you are fat, because someone said something to you, because you are not good in studies... because god made you as a boy or a girl... and for all the possible reasons...

Answer one question for me:
I cried when I lost a loved one. That day I cried a lot, cried like a baby. Will you be ok if I continue to cry even today for that one loss which happened years ago???
No... right? If you see me crying today for someone who died ages ago, you will probably ask me to go see a doctor... right or not?
Then why do you have to hold on to one thing and keep crying about it?

"Gulshan, you don't understand my position, my pain, my sufferings"...

Darling, I don't even want to understand...

I Hindu system of belief, when someone dies, there is a mourning period of 13 days, after which everyone moves on with life...
Religion itself says that even death doesn't deserve more than 13 days of crying...

If you think its worth crying, then cry... cry right now... cry out as loud as you can... cry till your lungs, throat and eyes start paining... continue to cry till you feel content... and once you are done crying, decide that you will never cry for this thing again...

Whatever the reason has been so far, the crying has to end today...
Make a decision today that you will not cry out of your own pain again and then see, even He won't be able to give you a reason to cry...

I'm not against crying...Tears are the purest form of expression...

Crying is ok as long as it is out of feeling for other person's feelings, whether joy or sorrow... that brings us closer to that other person...
Crying is ok as long as it leads you into action and results in a solution...

Crying out of self pity and self pain is utterhelplessness... It only releases negative vibrations around you which will encompass even your loved ones...

Make a decision... Make it now...

Thank you Same to you...

My grandpa was an amazing person... Probably the best grandpa in the world...
If there is a toy I need, I just need to point at it, don't even have to ask...
If my mom is torturing me too much with the homework... I just need to send out a signal to him, he would swoop in and rescue me...
I learnt a lot of good things from him, including my first ever morning exercises...
There was this one habit of my grandpa which was a bit strange, infact we used to tease him for that habit...
Whenever someone would wish him "Happy Birthday", he would reply with a "Thank you, Same to you". Year after year, he would repeat this same response. He had a very good command over english and this was not normal, so many times we explained that you should stop at "Thank You", "Same to you" is not required, but somehow he was not able to give up that wording and continued to say "Thank you Same to you" till his last birthday...

He's not around anymore, but somehow his style makes sense... Knowingly or unknowingly he had left a very powerful 5 worded message - "Thank you, Same to you..."

Somehow I have come to understand it as this: "Thank you" for the wishes, "Same to you" because the day of my birthday should be a Happy Day for you too...

Initially it was a part of missing him but over a period of time somehow my programming has become such that for the last 7-8 years, whenever someone has wished me Happy Birthday, I always say "Thank You" and somewhere a voice inside says "Same to you"

Only those very close to me get to hear me say it out aloud... all others don't get to because they would think I'm a weirdo and are not ready for it yet...

But the power of the message is quite simple... When you wish me a Happy Birthday, I say thank you, but when I say "Same to you" I'm also wishing to you that let my birthday be a happy day for you...

So all those who wished me a Happy Birthday today... A Biggggggggggg Thank You and Same to You...